“time lapse of water” by Vishal Banik on Unsplash

A sigh of relief?

Or another overwhelming wave of anxiety?

Xine Way
Xine Way
Sep 2, 2018 · 2 min read

I’m not sure how to feel.

I scrambled to get my thoughts together and prepare for my verbal exam.

My professor called me, and we face-timed for a good 20 minutes before I watched the smile she’d greeted me with fade as she asked me probing questions about different concepts.

I stuttered. I couldn’t look her in the eye as I tried desperately to recall my hastily scribbled notes on different insurance policies. Premiums. Deductibles.

All the words swam in my mind, and I tried so hard to make sense of them.

She looked kindly and patiently back at me.

I babbled almost incoherently, and she seemed to understand that I had no clue what I was talking about.

“Let’s talk again tomorrow,” she suggested. I saw it as her way of offering one last chance for me to redeem myself.

I’ll study hard to make up for what I’ve missed. I need to pass this class. I need to get my degree.

It’s just so hard to concentrate sometimes. The voices in my head get too loud — it’s hard to make sense of it all.

Maybe after I take my medication tonight I’ll be able to prepare more for my exam tomorrow.

Just one more day.

thepursuitofcweiziness

Your go-to place for writings by Christine Wei

Xine Way

Written by

Xine Way

Artist who thinks and feels out loud

thepursuitofcweiziness

Your go-to place for writings by Christine Wei

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