How to master small talk

Leave boring behind

Tell stories.

It’s an art that improves through practice. Draw from your experiences and tell stories in everyday conversations. It doesn’t have to be particularly meaningful. It could be something that happened in passing, something someone did or said that was out of the ordinary.

Be funny.

Develop a sense of humor. Watch comedy. Observe how people joke around or make plays on words. Figure out what’s funny and make that a part of who you are.

Have opinions.

I used to think to myself it’d be better not to form opinions on things I didn’t know about. But then I realized I tried to be so unbiased that I didn’t have opinions at all. And that made me extremely boring to talk to.

Listen attentively.

Don’t zone out. Pay attention to what the other person is saying. Try to make eye contact and imitate their body language. Mirror what they’re doing back at them, as it subconsciously builds a sense of comfort and familiarity.

Exaggerate every now and then.

It makes things seem more interesting. If you’re like “I was ravenous” as opposed to “I was hungry,” it paints a clearer picture for how you felt.

Bullshit lots.

It invites them to talk with you more. If they call you out on your bullshit, that’s even better. You manage to learn something as a result.

Ask meaningful questions.

These are questions for clarity, elaboration, etc. Encourage them to think about things from a different perspective or see themselves and their experiences more clearly. The quality of the questions you pose can improve the quality of your conversations.

Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Sincere self deprecating humor usually goes well. Or showing self awareness. It helps ease the degree of comfort the other person feels with you. And if you play the fool, you learn from the people you talk to. They generally like feeling smart.

Jump into the deep end.

Don’t overshare. But you can ask a more thought provoking question. Or hint at something deeper and more vulnerable in your life. You’d be surprised how the other person responds. They’ll likely do the same, and the conversation can move onto deeper things.

And of course, take these suggestions with a grain of salt.

Sometimes, I appreciate talking to people who put a lot of thought in what they’re saying. So they don’t bullshit and exaggerate. But I’ve found that when I do this, it’s often well received. People will smile and laugh at how creatively you can bullshit your way through something you don’t know. 😝

And sometimes you’ll run into someone who just doesn’t click with you well. When that happens, go easy on yourself. If they don’t appreciate your brand of humor, shrug it off. You ain’t gonna get along with all seven billion of the ppl on earth. Laugh it off and move on with your life.

Hope these tips were helpful!