Three Ways for BIPOC Individuals to Combat Self-doubt and Recognize Our Worth
You’re not alone when it comes to having self-doubt and feeling like an “imposter.”
This year, I start my tenth year in the social work/mental health field. Making the shift from the public to the private sector has brought a feeling of self-doubt and like “I don’t belong.”
For some context, I started my career as a social worker working with Children and Family Services. Over the years, I have learned and grown tremendously both personally and professionally and gained incredible experience to become a better social worker and therapist.
In 2016, I received my license and started my private practice a year later. In the last ten years, I’ve been a social worker, mentor, trainer, therapist, coach, clinical supervisor, and university lecturer.
Despite having all of these different roles and experiences, when I’m networking with other therapists and hear their achievements, I pause.
Have I done enough? Do I belong?
When I look at my resume, I know I’ve done all the things listed and more. Then why is it that when we hear others talk about their experience and accomplishments it automatically makes us question our own abilities?
I recently joined the Therapists in Tech Slack group, a space for therapists to network whether they’re already working in tech or wanting to start. My first day, I saw introduction posts from individuals about their accomplishments and decided not to post anything. I have facilitated Workplace Wellness Sessions with tech companies and have familiarity with the tech world but felt it was easier to stay quiet because I didn’t quite know what to say.
As a woman of color who values cultural humility, I often find it “boastful” if I’m talking about myself and my experience. As therapists, we are taught to be empathetic, actively listen and make sure our clients feel heard and understood. It feels counterintuitive to talk about your accomplishments, almost like you’re being “selfish.”
But talking about your accomplishments isn’t “selfish,” “prideful,” or “boastful.” It is showing that you have knowledge and experience just like the person next to you.
If you feel self-doubt about your accomplishments in networking space or any other space, I’m here to tell you, YOU HAVE A SEAT AT THE TABLE. There’s a reason you’re in that space in the first place. Don’t undermine or downplay your accomplishments.
Here are 3 ways to shift from self-doubt and feeling like you “don’t belong” to recognizing your self-worth:
- You can be humble AND sincere in what you bring to the table.
There’s no shame in stating all that you’ve learned and stating you’re professional expertise. As BIPOC individuals, we are taught from a very early age to be humble and respectful of others. This can translate to an internal feeling of uneasiness when we are faced with sharing our professional accomplishments and experiences, which may be different from one and another.
However, you can be humble and share your professional expertise. Don’t over-promise or lie about your credentials/experience but definitely highlight your abilities and what you bring to the table. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, it’ll be hard for someone else to have confidence in your abilities.
2. Recognize that you have a seat at the table and it’s not because you are woman, man, BIPOC, LGBTQ+, old, young, disabled or any other identity marker.
Even if you feel that you only got hired because of “x,” whatever “x” is, recognize that you have a seat at the table. How would you like to proceed now? Oftentimes, when we have a question in a meeting, training or any professional setting, we are usually not the only ones. Try not to let fear overcome your body where you stay silent.
Make the effort in different ways to engage in the conversation. Just like in my case with the Slack group, although I didn’t say anything in the chat, I went to one of the virtual events and met some incredible therapists in the field. The initial meeting or interaction is often scary but once we speak up, we recognize it’s not as bad as we made it seem in our mind.
3. Your path is unique to you and DOES NOT need to follow anyone else’s. You are exactly where you need to be.
I remember when I started my private practice in 2017, I worried whether I would be able to make the shift from a social worker to a therapist. I wondered whether I had enough “clinical” knowledge as other therapists in the field.
What I’ve learned over the years is that REPRESENTATION and AUTHENTICITY matters. Most of my clients are BIPOC or LGBTQ+ individuals who have sought me out specifically because I’m open and passionate about exploring racial/cultural and gender identity. When I’m able to show my clients that what they’re feeling is normal, I’ve built a stronger relationship and helped them progress further.
I no longer try to embody the therapist I “should be” but rather show up in a genuine, authentic manner. I realized if I’m not genuine and authentic, how will I be able to show my clients to be authentic? When you see others show up authentically, we are more likely to be brave and take the step to be more authentic.
Your journey is unique to you and you don’t need to follow someone else’s path. Your path is just as special and your accomplishments are just as important as the person next to you.
I understand that sometimes even if we know we are worth more than we realize, it’s not easy to shift our thoughts. The first step is to be aware that we are having self-doubt and feeling like an “imposter.” Sharing your feelings with peers and/or loved ones is a great first step. Oftentimes, we may recognize that we are not alone in our feelings.
If you continue to have ruminating thoughts that cause daily turmoil, reach out to a therapist. We are humans just like you and feel similar things as you. Take the first step. It’s usually not as scary as we’ve made it in our minds.
