A Lesson in Unwanted Judgment
By Lee Edwards, PhD. Several years ago, for reasons I no longer recall, I took a ride on a city bus. That’s not a common mode of transportation for me, so the circumstances were somewhat unfamiliar. I sat in my seat and occupied myself minding my own business and “people watching.” At one of the many stops a young black man boarded the bus. He was dressed in what I’ll characterize as hip-hop attire. In my casual observations he seemed somewhat rough — stocky build, baggy trousers, a stocking cap. Without any conscious intent I felt somewhat on guard. Though my thoughts were largely uncongealed I believe I was having a mild “this guy’s a thug” feeling. It was a brief moment and I didn’t really have time to consider my reflexive response: the moment ended when the young man turned to his friend and started to discuss some of the challenges of writing his doctoral dissertation. It was a decidedly “holy cow” moment for me, one that left me feeling a bit unsettled: it is not a comfortable thing to feel so subject to such unwanted (and unwarranted) assumptions about another person. Now, having had the time to reflect, I think of that experience as immensely valuable, a first-rate opportunity for insight and learning.
As a member of the human community and a student of the human experience, I think I can safely assume that I am not unique in my susceptibility to reflexive judgment and to some form of racism, or at least stereotyping. For some, the experience is conscious and/or overt. For others, it’s a facet of the mind that lives somewhere below conscious consideration. I believe I fall more into the latter category, and while my experience on the bus was certainly enlightening, I do not consider myself to be cured or purged of such unwanted qualities. But I am much more aware. The experience has encouraged me to exercise my reflective capacity, and that has afforded an opportunity to forge a new kind of relationship with my own psyche. It is a better relationship, one that I value greatly, but it is not always easier or less conflicted.
My experience on the bus that day was deeply personal and I believe it has contributed to my growth and development as an individual, a member of society, a husband, and as a father. I also have found it to be useful material in my work as a psychologist. From a practical “be the best person you can be” point of view, I believe it’s important to be mindful of judgment, to recognize the assumptions involved, and to ask oneself, instead, “What am I experiencing that judgment comes so readily?” In the case of my experience on the bus, the unfamiliarity of the situation and some assumptions about race and appearance that I seemed to have acquired without really knowing it, elicited my judgment about the young man. In simple terms, some measure of anxiety about the unknown and unfamiliar, coupled with unfortunate stereotypes, evoked my judgment. Judgment (not to be confused with assessment) almost invariably says more about the judger than the judged, and if not examined can have adverse affects that corrode and ripple from the individual outward.
Examination of judgments (a.k.a. assumptions) is also an important component in working with patients who are suffering from the painful repercussions of psychological, developmental, and/or emotional trauma. The adverse affects of traumatic experiences are multifaceted but in general include the patient’s tendency to become stuck in certain assumptions (narratives) — e.g., night means danger, men are threatening, intimacy is dangerous, sex is shameful, blame is to be expected and accepted, that odor is an alarm signal, and so forth. Helping someone learn to read and interpret (re-interpret) their body’s signals, to use that information to generate an alternate narrative (to no longer be subject to trauma-based assumptions), and to cultivate a more empowered and empowering response set can help traumatized persons navigate their lives with a greater sense of freedom and spontaneity, security, self-worth, grounding, and empowerment. A bus ride imbued with curiosity and openness to experience, free from assumptions about others, is likely to be a far more pleasant experience than one colored by judgment.
Lee Edwards is a licensed psychologist providing individual therapy for adults and older adolescents in Austin, Texas. With over twenty-five years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Edwards has worked with a wide range of problems and concerns, including chronic and acute mental health issues.
Lee T. Edwards, PhD, Licensed Psychologist, 4103 Marathon Blvd., Ste. 100B, Austin, TX 78756, Phone: 512.458–9787. Website: ledwardsphd.com
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