The Power of the Words, “I Believe You”
I ran an adult survivor of child sexual abuse group for two years, three words mattered more than the rest. The words, “I believe you.”
“In this group, we believe each other.”
The group sat in silence as those three words washed over every one of them. It was as if a lifeboat finally made it to their shore. They no longer had to be trapped on an isolated island fending for themselves and trying their best to survive. Their survival instincts were sharp, I believe they could have made it the rest of their lives pining through the woods and navigating the uncharted land of shame, guilt, and grief. However, the weight of the words was felt deeply and it carried our group the rest of the way throughout my time with them.
“I believe you”, served as our steady foundation as we met week after week.
It was as if for a moment during their lives, they could finally be seen, heard, and just be. No more having to prove what happened to them and how it impacted their lives, they believed each other. No more having to spend their energy on providing evidence and convincing people they deserved to be treated with care, they instead spent that energy pouring gentleness into each other. & that was enough to break through the walls the trauma built up in their lives.
The walls came crumbling down and when they would begin to build up again, they refocused on the connection and freedom of the words, “I believe you.” How many people in our lives would feel the heavy weight of the world lift from their shoulders if only they heard those three words?
I encourage whoever is reading this article to try it next time with a loved one, friend, colleague, etc. fighting to describe their pain. Next time you find your body tense up and your words leaning into that defensive state of wanting to find proof in their narrative, to instead say, “I believe you.” & just wait. Wait for the magic to flood the conversation and take a moment to be in that magic.
The magic in the truth we all deserve to be believed by someone.
