There Are No Words: Before
Day C-1: 2015.07.28
Last year, July 28th was a Tuesday. It was an unremarkable day, though my voice was definitely weaker. We did not anticipate what was to come.
Day C+365: 2016.07.28
The events of the week I went to the hospital were all chronicled in one big Facebook post on Friday July 31st, 2015 (C+2), so you’ll have to wait a few more days to see it again.
Last night Kathleen and I had a long conversation about that week. We were cuddled up together with our old dog Jake jammed in between us, talking about how we feel now, how we felt then, and how we introspect differently. Part of the reason I am taking this day by day it that I can’t handle taking it in larger chunks. There is too much to react to, too much to feel. One day at a time, is the right pace for now, it seems.
I have been thinking about my daughter Livé a lot too.
My mom is here for a visit, for the first time in quite a while. She has been travelling and visiting quite a lot over the last few months which has meant fewer visits to the Doghouse. It will be nice to spend some time with her.
Health Status Update
I feel a bit more balanced today. Talking with my wife definitely helped.
On the practical aspects of talking, I have been going commando — no base plates or HME (Heat and Moisture Exchanger) — for quite a while now. On the whole I find it much more convenient and simpler to manage. It’s usually simpler to talk, too.
I mention this because lying down is the exception. When my blowhole is naked and I’m on my back it seems I have trouble getting my arms and thumbs aligned just right. A base plate makes supine speech much simpler.
To this and many other indignities of cancer:
