Marketing is Dead. Long Live Marketing

Or, why you have to blow peoples’ minds, not blow up their bank accounts

This is a real advertisement posted on the LUNCHABLES FACEBOOK PAGE AT SOME POINT. KILL ME

I don’t like marketing. Actually, scratch that. I don’t like what people think marketing is. And I don’t like what many marketers think it is.

Or what many businesses think it is, either.

I talk about this a lot. Too much, probably. And it always gets an incredible response — from consumers.

But so many businesses don’t actually know the reasoning behind the gastronomically explosive backlash against their marketing efforts.

They only know that they need to “change it up”.

When they’re losing traction at the speed of Memes.

I’d like to say at this current moment none of the people I work for, in any way, are at all as clueless as the retro anime girl featured above. In fact, they’re brilliant, and that’s why I work with them.

The ship is sinking, but they don’t get why. So they hire people and agencies who know why, and can fix it.

The reason they hire (fantastic, effervescent) people to rework their brand image and create painstakingly comprehensive content marketing strategies is this why.

The reason why Influencer Marketing works and will continue to work — yup, it’s this often not understood why.

(70% of purchases by millennials are by non-celeb bloggers. And I know you want to cash in those numbers, man.)

Are you actually ready to learn the secret behind your contemporary marketing woes?

Understand why Memes are somehow winning the day?

And independent YouTubers are thriving while you’re fretting?

Here’s the goddamn why:

What businesses want to do and what consumers want to see has never been more at odds than it is now.

NSFL (not safe for life) warning:

Nope, didn’t want to see that.

Consumers want to consume things. Which may or may not be your product. In fact, it might just be memes, to be honest.

This is why I don’t really care about ROI.

Let me explain before you start pitching a giant fit:

I care about ROE. Return on engagement.

Sure, I measure all my campaigns. Yes, we have obvious traction. Yes, there’s always a strategy. Yes, I’m reporting it all. Yes, we iterate, pivot, and use research to plan our trajectory.

Yes, there are keywords involved. Yes, I’m vetting all the headlines.

Yes, yes, yes and yes.

If you don’t know what this is from, unfriend me right now.

I am doing all the things a marketer does, but my focus isn’t on you as a business.

My focus is on consumers, because they’re the ones that actually buy your product at the end of the day.

And if you aren’t focused on them, who the frell are you trying to persuade to purchase your service or buy your product?

You, too, can reach these numbers. But it’s going to take work, effort, time, and cash.

Here’s the penultimate answer as to why your marketing just isn’t working:

The #1, and quite plainly, only thing I’m concerned about is making consumers engaged, happy, educating them, challenging them, and just generally getting people talking.

If your #1 focus isn’t your consumer, then you’re going to fail at marketing even the most brilliant product ever conceived in the world, ever.

It’s really just that frelling simple.

Which is why I’m making a video game about all this stuff. Not even kidding, see above. Something I’m making, for free, on my own time, to educate and entertain people in the ways of content marketing. Yes, I own that shirt.

That’s what I get paid to do. I get paid to help people provide this kind of value to and for their consumers. And I’m incredibly picky about who I work with and for, for specifically that reason.

If a company can impress snarky ol’ me, they can impress their consumers.

But sometimes they don’t know how to do that in a meaningful way.

Or, they quite frankly, don’t have the time to.

That’s why they come to me. At this point, I should just be a marketing consultant.

But let’s get real here: y’all need teachers, not consultants. Y’all need overarching strategists, not just executors of The Stuffs.

Y’all need some rando like me to swoop in there, Speak The Excellent Word, and help you get shit done.

But at the end of the day, the process of Fixing Your Shit is exhausting, quite honestly expensive, time consuming, and has a lot of moving parts.

So mostly people just fold me into what they’re doing. Which I don’t mind. I’d prefer to be folded into a cool-as-heck business and help them, than stand around shouting at people atop my LinkedIn pedestal.

I’m a doer, not a voyeur.

The best way I can provide this value, right now, is with these gnarly, long, ranty, anime-laden articles, and that’s where we’re at right now.

So listen the duck up:

Consumers want relatable, funny, entertaining, educational content. So give it to them!

Even if it’s hard, even if it costs money, even if it’s strange new territory, give the people what they want!

If we take a traipse even through Reddit’s marketing subreddits to see the unfiltered experiences of professionals in the marketing field, we’ll quickly learn just how unimportant many companies feel content marketing actually is.

But they want it, hire for it, and fire for lackluster results. When results from this type of marketing can take months to even ramp up.

So, yet again, they still don’t understand the ‘why’ and just know they need to do *something*.

Here is the sitch, the answer to many if not all of your marketing woes, the step-by-step guide on how to break through, the actual definition of growth hacking, and the reason people email me daily asking for my sweet sweet expertise:

• Research what your consumers want to see. You can use Reddit analysis tactics if you want.
• Make stuff your consumers want to see. Stuff can be copywriting, articles, videos, gifs, memes, coubs, whatever.
• Figure out where to put the stuff so they can see it more easily.
• Measure how many people actually saw the stuff.
• Figure out if any of the people who saw the stuff actually converted.
• Take all that data and analyze the shit out of it.
• Identify just which distribution outlet and which type of content resonates most with your consumers.
• Make more of that stuff, and put it in the places they look.
• Keep doing that, measure it, pivot when necessary.
• Keep people engaged and increase conversions using the data from all of that.
• It’s probably going to take several months, so please take your blood pressure medication and stop being so impatient.
• Also please have a team of people doing this, because just FYI: it’s a lot of work, my dudes.

Congratulations, you’ve officially graduated from the Content Marketing Academy of Nerd-Girl Anime-Trash Cult-leader Kira Leigh.

B-but you’re so mean, and I’m still so lost…

I’m Batman, not a villain, and the citizens of Gotham are pretty hip to that, surprisingly.

If you’re still lost, page my butler and we can figure this problem out together.

Otherwise, just follow my list.

Reread this rambling piece of marketing-snark when lost. And pretty soon you’ll “big mood” about the whole thing.

Together, we can market better. Now put on your big boy / girl / other pants and get to blowing peoples’ minds, not their bank accounts.

Special thanks to Renato P. dos Santos for his continued support.

Kira Leigh is a writer, gamer and game enthusiast, digital creative, and small business owner.

Send her a line or catch her on LinkedIn if you want to work with her.

Or join her on Discord like the giant nerd you are: ActuallyBatman#3745