Magic: The Gathering
Magical Thinking: Mirrodin Besieged
Welcome back to Magical Thinking, a look back at the cards and art of Magic: the Gathering, set by set, from the beginning. This week we look at the second set of the Scars of Mirrodin block: February 2011’s Mirrodin Besieged.
The Phyrexian invasion of Mirrodin is in full swing, with the Mirrans fighting on every front as their colors are more and more corrupted by the encroaching Phyrexians. To make matters worse, Karn has been captured, and is being slowly converted into the new father of machines by the Phyrexians. Who will be left standing when the rust clouds clear? And will Karn be able to retain his sanity?
Last time White was pretty much clear of Phyrexian infection. Not so much this time. Now we got our first White Phyrexian creatures and cards, which is a first for Magic, where before Phyrexians were either Black or artifacts.
Phyrexian heart delivery: You get your heart in thirty minutes or less otherwise…well you won’t be around to be upset about it.
Here we have a new mechanic for this set: Battle cry. It gives attackers extra attacks. It’s a 4 on the Storm Scale and is so boring it’s forgettable. So forget it.
I mean, that’s what caused this problem in the first place. LEARN TO WIPE YOUR FEET, KARN.
Even in the face of absolute destruction the forces of good awaken to fight back against the forces of darkness. But will it be enough?
No. No it won’t.
I hope you guys like body horror, because the Phyrexians have it by the truckload. Just look at that Sphinx. It looks like they’re a roadie for Lordi. I like the tube in their stomach particularly.
Hey, it’s the intensely stupid blue flying drones from the previous Mirrodin block. They are back, look less stupid, and are performing the important work of being spies. I don’t know why you trust spy duties to a giant flying Jiffy Pop, but maybe the vedalken know something I don’t.
Man, even Phyrexian Homunculi are freaky looking. Is that thing holding their eye in their mouth? That’s nasty.
And now we have Phyrexian Vedalken. I thought they looked creepy when they were working for Memnarch. The Phyrexians have a real Hellraiser thing going on, don’t they?
I see creepy-ass smiles are still mandatory in Phyrexia land. They look like a kid on Christmas, the worst Christmas ever.
When the going get tough, Black starts fighting dirty. I am sorry we have never gotten a nut shot card. That would be right up Black’s alley.
Hey, this guy! They were in Core set 2021. I got a chance to play with them and against them on Arena. This is a pretty fun and powerful card. They definitely live up to their name.
That Leonine has had better days to be sure. I’d say Phyrexia should provide spa treatments to their soldiers but I think that WAS the spa treatment.
I guess Phyrexia is down with the sickness (Uh AH HA HA HA HA. I mean I think that’s how you spell that. It’s been a while since I’ve listened to Disturbed).
That is a face that says “I know they told me not to touch it, but I touched it anyway”. Which, to be fair, describes 90% of goblins.
You say that, but give a golem a kitten and then tell me they can’t be tender.
Wayne Reynolds make some damn pretty art. Also, Koth doesn’t leave anyone behind (Which makes what’s coming even more tragic for him).
That flavor text brings a tear to my eye. Keep on fighting, big boy.
Goblins gone wild! (I mean, they are usually like that but still).
Here we have an example of the zenith cycle of cards, which are spells which do X and then get shuffled back into your library. They are pretty powerful.
Hey, Glissa has a courier too. About time she showed up, and they’re…Phyrexian what?
Oh. Oh no.
Have you been paying attention? Green is absolutely yielding to Phyrexian corruption. Heck, you guys are almost as bad as Black at this point.
I think I am getting the idea behind Phyrexian aesthetic:
- Take a thing
- Remove eyes
- Give big mouth.
There you go, it’s Phyrexian. Tell me I’m wrong.
Yeah, Thrun is probably one of the most indestructible critters in Magic that isn’t a planeswalker, second only to Squee. Sadly it’s not going to help Mirrodin.
Holy shit, Glissa has gone full Kerrigan!
It’s a real shame. Glissa lived long enough to see herself become the villain (Not really since she’s a zombie, but you know what I mean).
Oh dear.
You remember the Darksteel Colossus? Well apparently the Phyrexians got to them, and now they are… this. If this thing attacks and gets through, you’re just dead, because that’s eleven poison counters. And it has TRAMPLE!
How can the Mirrans stand against such cruelty?
Aww, they’re so cute with their little sword. They wanna help and are doing the best they can.
Of course they’re about to be bodied against that Blightsteel Colossus, but A for effort. You are the hero of my heart, Brass Squire.
Living weapon is the other new mechanic of this set. And unlike battle cry it’s actually interesting. See, Phyrexians don’t have time to equip soldiers, so they just make weapons that use themselves.
Interestingly, while the whole living weapon thing remains purely a Phyrexian thing, later sets would experiment with artifacts that generated creatures to use. But more on that later.
The Phyrexians have begun to unleash molasses on the plane. Well maybe they aren’t so bad after all and that isn’t molasses, is it?
Now the Phyrexian’s are just fighting dirty. I mean, it’s a plane where everything and everyone is made of metal, so using magnets must be a major war crime or something there. Someone call the Hague, or at least the Insane Clown Posse.
No Offense, but there is a time and place for waging peace, and this definitely is not the time. Send a war strider next time (if such a thing exists).
Put this in the pile alongside gun-wielding knights and flamethrower-wielding ogres as things Magic desperately needs more of.
Now this is more like it. More of this for the Mirrans if you please. Thank you.
It’s the “gotta go fast” Myr.
Yeah, no, I’m sure the Phyrexians will be no match for a giant rusted tilt-a-whirl.
Uh, Vorinclex, I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I’m pretty sure nature intends death. Just saying.
This is what I feel like whenever I play a PVE game against people who have been in the game for years.
Yes, even the noble, humble blinkmoths have fallen to Phyrexia.
And on that somber note, we finish up Mirrodin Besieged. Exciting stuff, isn’t it? Who will win? Will the Mirrians reclaim their home in a heroic surge of victory? Or will Mirrodin fall and become a New Phyrexia? Find out next time on Magical Thinking, when we look at the final set of the Scars of Mirrodin block: New Phyrexia.
…Just…just Stay Magical.
