Magical Thinking: Portal

Welcome back to Magical Thinking, a look back at the art and cards of Magic: the Gathering. This week we’re doing things a little different, taking things a little bit slower. Some of this game can be confusing for people not familiar with Magic: all of the enchantments and instants and interrupts and what the heck even is a Brushwragg? Luckily, in May of 1997, Wizards of the Coast put out their answer: Portal.

Portal was designed to be a stripped-down entry-level version of Magic. There are no artifacts, no enchantments, no instants (Well kinda), not even any creature types. There are just lands, creatures and sorceries. The set sold as booster packs and also as a set of two preconstructed decks, one Naya (White, Red and Green) and one Sultai (Blue, Black and Green). Presumably they went with two three-color decks because it was the only way to include all five colors in two decks. This two-deck pack was one of the first Magic products I ever actually owned, so this is more than a bit nostalgic for me.

Anyway, lets get on with the cards.

I figure we should start with a straight creature so you can see some of the main differences between this and the normal Magic cards. Like I mentioned, there are no creature types. They also put a little sword and shield next to the power and toughness to avoid confusion, and they refer to the graveyard as the discard pile. I think Wizards put a lot of thought into how to make this as easy as possible for new players to get into.

I don’t think it can be understated how much I love Tony DiTerlizzi’s art. The artist who made Planescape one of the better DnD settings was an awesome get for Wizards of the Coast. I only wish they could have gotten more art from him. It’s like the Foglios where he’s not an artist you see in Magic anymore, and that’s a damn shame.

So what you’re saying is that if I play this card, my non-White creatures will be revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night? Yeah, I did just make a Manfred Mann reference in 2020. TRY AND STOP ME.

I think this is the first example of a mechanic which I don’t think has a name but allows weaker creatures to sneak by bigger creatures. The only other time I’ve seen this mechanic was Beloved Princess from Throne of Eldraine. It does have neat flavor, where this monk is able to dodge stronger but less agile enemies. Also, they call blocking “Intercept” in this set. I guess they thought it made it more clear how it worked?

Yeah, remember how I said there were no instants in this set? Well that’s technically true, but they did include some sorceries which worked almost exactly like instants, in that it told you specifically when you could cast them (they had to include stuff like that otherwise colors like Blue, which live and die off of instants, would have been hosed).

Hey, remember when they used to put legit bible passages and real life proverbs on magic cards as flavor text? They don’t really do that anymore. In fact I think they got away from that by this point in the main game, but for Portal the sky’s the limit.

Wait a second, this is the same guy from Fleet footed monk. Same clothes same hair style same face. I mean its not just me he’s the same guy right? Eh, maybe it’s just the look of their order, or they’re brothers or something.

Eh. It’s not the same if the swords aren’t holding back a huge green goo monster, you know?

This is either the last shot of Jack Nicholson from The Shining, or what happens when you stack three York Peppermint Patties on top of one another and bite down on all of them at once.

Once again Phil Foglio knocks it out of the park and brings life to what would be an otherwise boring card.

Here is another of this sets not-instants. Considering how annoying Unsummon is, unsummoning two creatures at once would be even more annoying. As for the art that guy reminds me of the Dungeon Master from the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon.

Yep, even in a beginner set with no instants, you can’t get away from the terror of counterspells. I mean how could you? Those are Blue’s bread and butter. Better to instill the fear of them in players young, so they are prepared for the mono Blue decks they will face in the wild and be unable to do anything against as they counter all your stuff.

I just love how chill the art for this is. That’s what I’d be doing if I were a powerful plane-jumping wizard. Just chillin and living that best life.

Here’s another example of a monster too cool to be depicted as an actual creature. I mean what is this big-mouthed thing? No idea. They never show up on a card as a creature. It doesn’t matter, of course. They’re going back to the hand.

What it looks like when you sign up for a new cell phone plan. Although in that case I think half your life would be a bargain. Pay as you go is the way, baby!

So we’ve gone from Demonic Tutors to Vampiric Tutors to now just having a Cruel Tutor. I get it, it’s been over ten years since I got out of college. I still have bad dreams about flunking out or taking a test for a class I skipped out on all semester. The struggle is real.

When I decided to do this set, I knew there was one Portal card I had to talk about over all others. The card which, for money, is Portal’s greatest success story bar none. And that would be this fella right here. The Gravedigger is the quintessential Black creature: fairly costed for a relatively powerful effect (getting a creature back from your graveyard) and perfectly fits the flavor of Black’s color identity of graveyard manipulation.

Apparently Wizards agrees with me because Gravedigger has been reprinted over twenty times. Most recently was in Core 2020, which means he’s Standard legal right now (for another month at least before the next set rotation). Gravedigger is definitely the MVP of Portal. Not that there aren’t other success stories from this set, but this one is a stand-out for me. And not only because his art makes him look like a weird mantis man (seriously, what’s wrong with his hands?) .

Here’s another Portal success story. Mind Rot has also been reprinted a bunch of times, is currently Standard legal, and is the quintessential Black discard card. In fact, since Mind Rot was reprinted in core 2021, it’s gonna be in Standard when Gravedigger goes bye bye.

Oh, you’re gonna make a human skeleton? A skeleton horse? Yeah? How about a skeleton CROCODILE? Yeah, that’s the Check+ Necromancy right there.

Here’s another Portal success story. Blaze is basically a simplified version of Fireball, but it too has been reprinted a bunch of times as an iconic Red damage dealing card. It’s fascinating that a set that was designed to help get new players into Magic can still hold true to the game’s core mechanics and have enough thought and craft put into it in order to get cards good enough to make it into the actual sets.

Man, that guy looks how I feel when I am having a bad day at work. Keep your chin up buddy, you do you.

That is some wisdom for the ages right there: You don’t lose if you’ve already won. I want to get that on a plaque or something. It’s really some deep wisdom.

Hey look, it’s another iconic monster that’s been reprinted a ton of times. Raging Goblin doesn’t get too much play these days, but he’s still a cool little guy.

Now this is some beautiful art. It’s so good that for a while I wasn’t sure if this was actually a photo or something. That’s how good it is. And while I usually complain about Magic creatures being too mundane, that’s not the case here because real life Hippo’s are scary as Hell. Seriously, a lot of herbivores are basically giant living tanks, and they know it. Don’t mess with Hippos, they will mess you up.

One thing that never gets brought up when talking about Green’s attributes is its hatred of flying creatures. Like a major aspect of their color identity is that they have creatures which can block flyers (mostly spiders) or spells which just kill flying creatures outright like this one here. Green is the color of nature but you better keep your butt on the ground.

Also, can birds actually cry? Is that a thing? Eh, maybe they’re magic birds.

I was gonna make a joke about seaweed wraps or something, but I gotta say that green lady is very pretty. Nothing to add beside that.

I live in Western New York so, yeah, winter is pretty much like that. Points for accuracy, Wizards.

Okay. That concludes our look at Portal. Are we all caught up on the rules? Everyone acclimated to playing the game? Alright. Well strap in, folks, because next time we’re diving back into the Mirage Block with the final set from the block: Weatherlight, AKA when the first major metaplot of Magic kicks off. I’m excited, and I bet you are too. Till then, stay magical.