The Girl De-Construction Project by Rachel Gardner
Review
For a long time, I didn’t understand how to be a woman. Or even, how to be a girl. How to be female. My model for womanhood growing up was unhealthy, manipulative, toxic, maladjusted, miserable. I had no real compass for femininity, and I felt — and still do occasionally — way more comfortable in outward androgyny and inward masculinity. To me, that’s where strength lay. It’s only been recently that, when grappling with what it truly means to be a woman, I’ve realised womanhood requires great strength, candour and godly assurance, coupled with grace and steely elegance. I still find it hard at times to relate to things generally marketed towards girls, yet in reading The Girl De-Construction Project, I read myself.
Situated at the tipping point of the cultural moment, surrounded by discussions on feminism, empowerment, church deconstruction and the impervious messaging of Western culture, Rachel Gardner’s deft exploration of our sex is chainmail in the armoury of the Christian woman. Through it she looks inward, outward, and upward: inviting God’s opinion on her mind, body and soul. At the end of each chapter Gardner guides her in de-constructing herself, with pertinent questions and activities to help her sort through and remove lies she may have believed. She then asks her to re-construct — to rebuild herself into the woman she was always created to be. This step of re-construction is so important that Gardner devotes to it a whole chapter of its own: it’s a step in any kind of self-assessment that should not be ignored, but is sadly so often neglected and, by omission, discouraged amongst those disillusioned in our churches.
Even from a non-Christian perspective, the book is a worthy read. Gardner’s conversational and down-to-earth style doesn’t over-spiritualise or condemn; rather, she reminds you that she was like you, and is like you still. There is growth that must take place, of course, transformation even, if you allow it, but she walks you through it all with such poise and confidence that you cannot misstep. Some of the difficulties in being female lie in friendships and feeling (mis)understood, but know that in The Girl De-Construction Project, you’ll find a true friend: dependable, reliable — one you can come back to time and time again, and all will be as though you never left.
Standouts
“I know someone who has been through hell. You name it, she’s faced it. She’s a passionate advocate for other women who suffer. Her informed opinions and prophetic insight mean you wouldn’t want to mess with her! But if you were to be in her presence, even for a moment, you would experience joy radiating out of her. She’s chosen to direct the flow of her life in loving gratitude for all Jesus has freed her from and for. Her courage and joy are contagious.”
“Not only are non-white women missing from positions of leadership and influence on grounds of their gender, but also on the grounds of their race.
I believe this grieves God’s heart.”
“She is soul, she is body, she is female.”
“I don’t believe we’re called to abide by gender stereotypes, but to reshape them in the light of who we know God to be and who he says we are” [emphasis Gardner’s].
“I’m getting myself into the habit of asking each morning, ‘How surrendered can I be to you today, Jesus?’ It’s the most dangerous prayer I think I’ve ever prayed — because Jesus has a habit of answering it.”
Rating
5/5 🌟
Pages
255 (not including notes).
Time it took me
Four days.
