Successful People get Rejected More
I am in a fortunate position that I really love the work that I do, and I spend a lot of time feeling ridiculously lucky that I’ve ended up here.
But as my mum and dad keep reminding me (cheers guys!) I’m not doing what I love simply out of luck.
Everything in life is half luck — I do believe that sometimes timing and circumstance and serendipity and privilege plays into decisions you make — but the other half of the time, it’s deliberate actions that determine the course of your life.
Successful people don’t get to do what they like, or get featured in some awards show, or get an article written about them, or get accepted for that job just because they are them. The things that successful people do only account for a tiny proportion of what they’ve TRIED to do.
They put themselves out there — all the time — into situations where they have a very good chance of being rejected. Sometimes, much to their delight, they are accepted, but most of the time, they are not.
I get a lot of people asking how I always get to do the things that I love. I don’t really think of my life like that — but rather like a series of trials and errors that end up in some cracking experiences.
To illustrate what I mean, here’s a list of just some of the things I have been rejected for over the last 10 years. I simply want to show you the scale of what you have to put yourself in for, in order to do the few awesome things that show on the outside.
- I was rejected from Cambridge
- I was rejected from the East of Scotland University Air Squadron
- I was rejected from the Ogilvy fellowship (I was offered a job with them 24 hours later in a different, less desirable role)
- I was rejected from 14 different advertising agencies over 9 months when I was intent on working in advertising
- I was rejected by 16 different investment banks over 2 years when I was intent on working in investment banking (the only one who accepted me beyond paper application was J.P. Morgan — and then at the end of the internship that I did there, albeit once I’d kind of given up, I wasn’t asked to join them full time as a grad)
- I’ve been rejected for jobs I’ve worked super hard on the application for Working Title, The Economist, FC Business Intelligence, WIRED, Google, Channel 4, BBC…the list goes on
- I was rejected for an assistant role at The Royal Institution — here is a screenshot of the number of drafts of the cover letter I wrote:
- I was rejected for the international exchange through university (I applied to do a year at U Penn)
- I’ve been rejected from countless conferences when pitching as a speaker — I would put the number close to 50
- I have been rejected from many an award scheme (e.g. Computer Weekly Women in Tech, MIT 35 Under 35 etc)
- I was rejected from 3 different positions at university societies
- I was rejected — after sooo many rounds — from a dream job at Deepmind
- I was rejected from 3 government analyst positions which I could’ve sworn I was plenty qualified to get
- I was rejected for the majority of a summer spent door-to-door knocking (one dude even called the police on me, but that’s another story)
- I was rejected from an Account Management promotion at Ogilvy
- I was rejected (the first time I applied) from getting Twitter verified (I am very aware of how ridiculous that makes me sound)
- I am rejected most weeks by editors who don’t like my BRILLIANT pitches
- I have been rejected from many grant funding schemes for science communication, despite co-running a science podcast for 18 months
- I have been rejected by many a client when I pitch in new forms of work — even when I truly believe the ideas are golden and I’ve spent ages on the proposal
Every single one of those bloody hurt — and it’s not even the full list.
Being rejected is shit. It’s hard not to take it personally and it’s hard to keep applying for something you want when it feels like a consistent barrage of ‘no’.
But the only way to do the good stuff — unless you are laced with luck and privilege throughout your entire life — is to put yourself in positions where you might get rejected, constantly.
I am not told yes every time I want to do something — that is ridiculous. But I do apply for things — ALL the time. I apply for speaker slots, for opportunities to write, for funding for Science: Disrupt, for awards, for fellowships, for membership of communities. I’m on multiple email newsletters notifying me of opportunities (like Armacad, Damn Good Jobs and Next Gen Summit, to name but a few) — and I make a huge effort to go for almost everything that piques my interest.
Yes it takes bloody ages, yes it’s ‘too much’ sometimes, yes you have to big yourself up a lot and it feels weird — but there’s no magical fast track route that successful people take. They just get their hands dirty and do it.
I used to think that being in a position where I’d never have to interview again is the definition of success — that I would get into a particular grad scheme or seniority level or type of company, that no matter where I went after that, people would understand my ability and wouldn’t question my desire to do something.
But now I know that is mental. If you are in the position of never having to interview or prove yourself, you aren’t growing.
I’m not going to tell you to learn to love rejection — it really is crap — but I do believe we all must embrace the fact that if you want more from life and you aren’t getting rejected every now and again, then you’re not putting yourself out there often enough.
You’ve got to be in it to win it — and opportunities are only there to be seized by those who apply.
Simple, really.
