Chapter 25: Chicken is Happening

Jugal Mody
These People Are Mad
6 min readApr 8, 2020
The Spiral

“Ishaaniii!” Seher screamed as the drunk girl who opened the door hugged Seher tight. Some of her drink spilled on Anuj’s shoes. He took a step back and the girl noticed him. “Anuuuujjj!” She let go off Seher and hugged him. “Such a long time since I last saw the both of you together!”

Anand, Veena and Avantika stood there, smiling like role model tag-alongs. Kartik’s stretched hands changed directions to point at the drunk girl as he limped forward and let out a hoarse, “Brraaiins!”

“Ishani!” Anuj wrapped his arms around the girl cheerfully, which threw everyone else off. This wasn’t cheerfully snarky. This wasn’t cheerfully nihilistic. This was cheerful, like every-obscure-sorrow-in-the-world-had-just-dissolved cheerful. This was Anuj-from-before-the-break-up cheerful. Avantika was completely thrown off her game and Anuj realised that she wasn’t the only one staring at him. Except Seher. She knew. When the pleasantries ended, they finally stepped in.

— “See what I mean.” Anuj leaned towards Avantika. “I am physically incapable of doing this.”

— “We’ll find a way around it. These days there are many options like IVF and adoption…” Taking the joint from between Anuj’s fingers, Avantika returned to WhatsApping her helpline.

— “Very funny.” Anuj’s foot touched hers and he looked right into her eyes like Veena would when she didn’t approve of a joke.

Soon after that, Anuj and Seher fell into their rhythms like retired swimmers thrown into a pool. They walked up to people standing in groups of threes and fours, hugged each and every one of them, told them how glad they were to see them before they switched to the next and repeat. Anand and Veena walked with them to make sure they said their hellos to the people they had gotten drunk with before but either did not remember their names or weren’t sure if the people remembered them. They provided backup compliments⁵⁷ when Anuj or Seher complimented somebody’s clothes or shoes or accessories. They asked supplementary questions⁵⁸ when Anuj or Seher asked somebody what they had been upto.

Avantika felt a little lost. If she had been there without an ensemble cast, she’d have found some people to like her and drink with. But right then, she didn’t exactly see a place for herself on the stage plus she had Anuj’s performance anxiety on her mind.

— “Niyati said I could do this in case I see someone I don’t want to see.” She grabbed Kartik’s arm and dragged him to the bar.

— “Brains?” Kartik laughed. He saw the opportunity to stop being patient zero. Avantika needed him and she had a joint.

— “That girl there.” She nodded her head in the direction of a girl laughing between two guys.

— “Brains?” Kartik put his limp zombie fingers into Avantika’s hair and tried to bite into her skull, missing it by an inch.

— “Okay, okay, I got it.” She lit the extinguished half joint and placed it between Kartik’s lips. His arms dropped down as the burning tip of the joint glowed.

— “The girl doing the drunk girl laugh⁵⁹?” He coughed as he used his handkerchief to wipe the zombie state drool from the corner of his lips.

— “How do you know about the drunk girl laugh?”

— “Also, I think that girl is actually drunk.” The ‘also’ was for the look he gave Avantika for asking him that question — the look that said, you think you’re the only one who Niyati talks to?

— “Trust me, she is not. She is the type who gets a little subdued when actually drunk.” The two leaned against the little bit of wall between a lamp and the large wood table that was the room’s bar.

— “Who is she standing with?” A couple of inches above their heads were two framed black and white photographs — one of a kid carrying two bottles, walking through a market and the other of some dead writer and his typewriter.

— “A film critic and a film writer.”

— “Total bitch!” Kartik had learned how to girl-talk with Niyati.

— “Yeah, totally. But you don’t get it…” Avantika took the joint back from Kartik. “I am the one who usually gets to do that laugh and flatter the already flattered. What if I am being replaced by her?”

— “That doesn’t make sense.” He patted her back without letting his palm linger, even for comfort.

He could see Avantika beginning to spiral⁶⁰. He couldn’t think of anything to say because he was stuck right where he was when he suffered that blow to his head and heart at the previous party. And usually, even when he had helped Niyati out, it had been by making agreeing noises as she talked her own way out of her own spiral. He looked for Veena. Veena was exceedingly good at handling Niyati’s spirals. Seher could either handle it or fuel it further — it totally depended on the mood she was in.

Veena was busy talking to one of Seher’s friends who she had hung out with at another party. They were catching up on romcoms because that was what had gotten them talking to each other the first time. And the second time. And the third time. The moment one asked the other about their personal or professional lives, both of them had nothing much to say — despite both of them being artists — one a jewellery designer and the other a graphic designer.

Kartik considered Seher for a brief second but if she piqued Avantika, he did not know where that would take her. That was also when it hit him that he did not know Avantika. At all. Just like he did not know Anjali. His phone buzzed him out of an impending spiral. It was Niyati asking him to help Avantika. “Stop spiralling and help a sister out. (Also ask Seher if I said it right.)” Kartik laughed and told himself that he was not going to worry about the Anjali situation.

— “I have one sentence for you.” He turned to Avantika. “What would Niyati do? Think Actorography.”

— “What would Niyati do? What would Niyati do?” Avantika repeated to herself as she rubbed her bracelet against her skin to cause a little pain. “She would concentrate on the mission for tonight.”

— “Which for Avantika tonight is?”

— “Party hard.”

— “And?”

— “And make sure that Niyati is not missed by you guys.” Avantika’s hands stopped moving and she shook her shoulders like she was doing the boob-shake dance step.

— “And?”

— “Figure out how to make the next death believable and get my co-actor to get out of his shell.”

— “Who?”

— “Anuj.”

— “What happened to him?”

— “Chicken is happening.”

— “Ha.” He laughed, taking a drag off the joint. “Don’t fall for it. He’s a pushover really.”

— “You’re alright, you know.” Avantika poked Kartik. “Except for that stalkerish obsession with that girl from your college.”

— “Brains?” Kartik passed her the joint and motioned her towards the bar where Avantika poured drinks for the both of them.

⁵⁷ According to Actorography, backup complimenting is no different from giving backup vocals on a track. To get a better idea, think of your favourite Pink Floyd song and remove the backup vocals from it. Still as psychedelic?

⁵⁸ According to Actorography, a supplementary question is the unnecessary question you ask after the main question to get more unnecessary details out of the askee to make them feel good about themselves.

⁵⁹ A drunk girl laugh is when the girl is not really drunk but she tilts back enough, while breathing in hard, so that her cleavage could do maximum damage to anyone looking.

⁶⁰ According to Actorography, a spiral can work both ways. A person, a phenomenon, an anything can spiral either upwards or downwards, or sometimes just in an unknown vague direction. If you don’t know the person, the phenomenon or the anything like an acclimated Actorographer should, you can only find out where the spiral is going by following the person into the spiral. All spirals come with the explicit danger of being a rabbit hole, a place where you can never return from (at least not the same you that fell into it). The two most popular kind of spirals were the simple spiral and the layered spiral. A simple spiral is when you are affected by a superficial fact and you dive deeper into your life. A layered spiral is when the epicentre of the spiral is somewhere deeper in your psyche and will cause tremors and fault lines on the surface.

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Jugal Mody
These People Are Mad

Writer. Toke — a novel about stoners saving the world from zombies. Alia Bhatt: Star Life — a narrative adventure video game set in Bollywood.