Chapter 38: A Brief Interruption by Ahmed and Fauzia
Veena had tossed yet another would-be spiral in the air and Seher had shot her in the head once again. This time around, Veena didn’t bother getting up from Avantika’s lap. Avantika ran her fingers through Veena’s hair, pushing them behind her ear.
— “Shit! I wish Ahmed was around. I could do with a cheer-up shot. I think I’m beginning to have an unhealthy affair with our brunch hang outs.”
— “Veena ma’am?” The couple that was furiously making out in the background had stopped. The woman in the burqa had turned around and she clearly had a man’s voice.
— “Ahmed?” Veena’s head quickly propped back up.
— “Where are the guys?” The veil dropped over his face as Ahmed got up. He pulled it back up and waved at Seher.
— “I thought you were married. Why are you in a burqa, kissing a dude?” And even before Ahmed could answer, she turned to Seher. “See! This is a sign that Anand and me are not meant to be together! I asked for Ahmed and he was here all the time. Plus he is kissing a dude despite having a lovely wife at home!”
— “We sent our kid to Fauzia’s parents’ to celebrate New Year’s.” Ahmed grinned as his man started giggling like a girl.
— “Ahmed talks about you people all the time.” Ahmed’s man’s face glowed in the moonlight as her voice gave her away. But more importantly it was her stellar features that made Avantika tilt her face to be able to look past her fake moustache.
— “We talk about us people all the time too.” Seher jumped up and hugged Fauzia. “So happy to meet you.”
— “We keep telling him that we want to meet you but he doesn’t invite us over only.”
— “The second one is from Niyati.” Avantika hugged Fauzia twice, the second one was harder and tighter. “Also now stand together both of you. I have to send a picture to Niyati.”
— “Where are Anand, Anuj and Kartik?” Ahmed put his arm around his wife’s arm as he stood there like he was the begum of the coolest nawab alive. Avantika’s phone flashed a couple of times into their eyes as neither blinked.
— “You don’t want to know.”
— “What? He proposed at a party and now you are here?”
— “How did you know?”
— “Oh, you were being serious.” Ahmed shut up and looked away from Veena as he held onto his own wife’s hand tighter. “You are here because you said no?”
— “Nooo!”
— “She’s fine, Ahmed.” Seher knew that Veena wouldn’t say anything more. “Just that she is too chicken to say yes.”
— “The two of you better not split up. What will happen to the group? What will happen to brunch? How will I ever invent another cocktail in my entire life?” Ahmed pulled the veil over his face.
— “See, now you are even making Ahmed spiral.” Seher scolded Veena.
— “It will be alright.” Fauzia flicked his veil back up to kiss Ahmed before she checked with Seher and Avantika (with a look that said, this better not ruin my night), “It will be, right?”
— “Haan bhai, this idiot here is being exactly that — an idiot.”
— “The moustache tickles.” Ahmed giggled.
— “Chill, dude.” Avantika put her phone away and slipped her hand into Ahmed’s as she stood on his other side. “Is this outfit yours?”
— “Yes.” Fauzia grinned.
— “Is he wearing your bra and panties too?” Avantika couldn’t help but nudge Ahmed as she asked Fauzia that question.
— “No, they wouldn’t fit. I went shopping for him.” Fauzia giggled so hard that her moustache fell off but she caught it between her lips.
Avantika poked Ahmed before she helped Fauzia paste it back on. She then satiated Niyati’s curiousity by sending her Fauzia’s answer. Niyati also wanted to know the colour but Avantika felt the spiral had been quelled so asking that might be overdoing it. Ahmed had stopped spiralling but he returned to the topic by giving Veena a meaningful glance, which during a weekend brunch meant, “Is everything alright?”
— “I don’t know, Ahmed. But we will be fine, I guess.” Veena smiled.
— “They will be fine, Ahmed. Don’t think so much. Why do you want to waste your New Year’s? This girl is just being stupid. Also, this is the first time we have met Fauzia.” Seher pulled out the car keys. “There has to be some shagun equivalent that we should do, no? Let me get the whisky.”
Ahmed laughed as he put his hand into his wife’s jacket pocket to fish out a handful of miniature whisky bottles. Avantika still couldn’t get over how gorgeous Fauzia’s wide grin was. She couldn’t help but look at her teeth and gums as they glowed under the shadow of the moustache. She didn’t stop till she could replicate that exact same grin. Inside her head and on whatsapp, she asked Niyati if that could be a thing — the Fauzia grin⁷⁰.
— “You can take Ahmed out of the bar but you can’t take the bar out of Ahmed?” Veena laughed at her own line.
— “Aapko kya lagta hai?” Ahmed at Veena shrugged as Fauzia giggled. “I can’t just change from my bartending uniform into this outfit without downing a couple of these.”
— “I’d change into anything for a wife with a smile like that.”
— “Acchha, put it back in. You never do shagun with your own whisky when there is chori ki whisky. Apshagun ho jata hai.” Seher turned to walk towards the car to get the bottle of Glenlivet.
Meanwhile, Avantika took one of the miniatures from Ahmed and swigged on it before passing it to Veena who refused. She was afraid if she got any more drunk, she might go straight to the airport and grab the first flight to Chennai to never return. She decided to indulge in small talk about what Fauzia did — Fauzia taught all subjects to the neighbourhood kids till standard four.
By then Seher had returned with the bottle. She held Fauzia’s chin up and let some of it drop as Fauzia gulped down the whisky without making as much as a squeak. But as soon as she tilted her head back in place, she looked to see how Ahmed reacted and even before his face could react, she jumped to her own defense, “What? I don’t have to worry about Ali waking up tonight!”
Veena pulled out a one rupee coin and gave it to Fauzia to toss into the ocean. (Yep, that is how the gang did shagun as opposed to letting her keep it.) The bottle was passed around as everyone took exactly one sip. While hugging Ahmed, Veena slapped him on the back of his head saying, “Thanks.”
⁷⁰ According to Actorography, a Fauzia grin is when you smile so wide and so joyously that your eyes look like button slits but shine like black marbles. Also, your teeth and gums glow in the moonlight (or any such source). The Fauzia grin is usually very difficult to channel unless one is in an utterly blissful state for real.
