Chapter 50: Show, Not Tell
— “I am going to tell Anand about the shoulders thing.” Veena pulled Seher closer when they were clearly out of Anand’s and Jeevan’s earshot.
— “He doesn’t already know?”
— “Of course, he doesn’t. Before tonight, I’ve never even considered telling him. What if he thought I was a weirdo and never proposed and then left me for someone who was less weird?”
— “I am not getting into that argument. So when do you plan to tell him?” Seher shook her head as they stood at the end of a three-women-long line.
— “I plan to show, not tell.”
— “I’m assuming you guys are leaving early then.”
— “No.” Veena pulled Seher’s ear to her mouth by her hair. “Here. One of those studios.”
— “Go for it.”
— “You’re not supposed to say that. You are supposed to discourage me from the bold decision and then I am supposed to throw a tantrum where I go and do it anyway.”
— “Okay, fine. If we’re doing that bit then why not.” Seher took a step out of the line to turn and look shocked. “HERE? NO WAY! You’re not doing something so idiotic, Veena!” The three girls standing ahead of Seher and Veena, scooched a little closer to the door and away from them, thought that she was so drunk that she was going to pee there and Seher was discouraging her. Not that they hadn’t already taken a dislike to Seher holding a bottle when they were carrying plastic glasses.
— “So by your classification, what genus does Jeevan fall under?” Seher, on finishing the bit, returned to stand next to Veena.
— “Rockstar.”
— “Bullshit. He isn’t wearing black and blue!”
— “Worse. He is wearing black and black.”
— “Is this what happens to women who get engaged? They are turned off from every guy there ever is?” Seher decided it was time to bring fangs into the argument. “Also, they turn blind! He is wearing yellow, fucking bright lemon yellow with green and blue lines making the checks. Where did you see black?”
— “Or do you get blind every time you see a rockstar you want to get naked with?” Veena slapped the back of Seher’s head. “He is wearing a black t-shirt on the inside.”
— “He must just be feeling cold.”
— “I have given my ruling. Rockstar it is.”
— “But he’s cute. And what do you know?”
— “This is from when you were discarding boys from the first party. Remember your own comments?” Veena grabbed Seher’s head and shook it a little. “Do you see it now?”
— “This Anuj accused me of not knowing what goes inside Kartik’s head.” Seher changed the topic. “You think Kartik knows everything about me?”
— “More than you know about him for sure.”
— “Et tu?”
— “What? It’s true!”
— “When I asked Anuj who was he to tell me anything, he called himself the regulator of all things cheese related.”
— “Haha. When did he say that?” Veena abruptly stopped laughing because of the pressure it put on her bladder.
— “On Whatsapp. We’ve been exchanging messages since the drama you and Anand pulled in the middle of the street.”
— “I like the sound of that. Inspector of all things cheese related. He is vela enough to be the one who regulates the cheesiness that binds our minds.”
— “You are holding onto that? I thought that was just an in-the-moment ramble?”
— “It may have been in-the-moment, but I like the idea.” Veena placed her fist right above her left breast. “And I am the President of All-Things-Cheese-Related. And you can be the Vice President and Niyati can be the Treasurer.” Then both of them laughed at the idea of Niyati handling money.
— “But seriously, Kartik and I have always been comfortable where we are. He has always been the friend of the guy my best friend was trying to bang and I have always been the friend of the girl his best friend was trying to bang.”
— “Just because both of you have been comfortable doesn’t mean both of you have the cheese between you.”
— “Okay, seriously, is this cheese thing going to stick?”
— “As of now, I am liking the sound of it. Tomorrow morning might be a different story.”
— “Have you considered that Anuj is just smashed and is drunk-texting me for kicks? How often does he like to hold onto a lexicon?”
— “All the time.” Veena almost sang that line. “At least, till he has tried ruining it for all of us and failed.”
— “He still thinks that some day in the future, there might be a part deux of our relationship!” Seher grabbed her phone tight in a fist.
— “I am not going to put thoughts in your head, Seher. They never really stick but Anand is no longer that dude I am trying to ‘bang’. I am going to be spending the rest of my life with him, and hopefully with you assholes. I would like to think that ten years from now, all of us will be retelling these crazy party stories from the time before technology ruined everything.”
— “Fuck you.” She took a picture of Veena who was holding her legs tight together.
— “What are you doing?” Veena managed to block her face from the lens using her palms.
— “This.” Seher tweeted the picture with the caption: ‘How parties used to be before technology ruined everything.’
— “That’s funny.” Veena giggled and once again stopped because of her stinging bladder.
— “Here listen to this.” She looked into the phone and read out one of Anuj’s messages. “Avantika is a recruit and if all of us don’t strengthen, we will all become a band of out-of-work actors in the cult of Actorography.”
— “Okay, don’t make me pee right here.” Veena laughed as she locked arms with Seher and squeezed Seher’s arm tight enough for it to hurt.
— “No seriously, look, he even added in brackets: (Not that it doesn’t work).”
— “Have you considered that under all that drunk rambling, he might just have a thing for Avantika?”
— “Now, you are confusing me. Should I go hang out with Kartik or not?”
* * *
On the balcony above, Kartik wasn’t exactly sure if he should step down to get a refill. He wasn’t sure of what he would say to Anjali if he ran into her. He wasn’t sure who to ask because Anand wasn’t there and Anuj and Avantika were proving to be useless.
Their suggestion was that he should ride a horse towards her. They even insisted that they would get the band to play Gangnam style as they would do the horse-ride dance step with him all the way to where Anjali was standing. “If it fails, I can always die again.” Anuj laughed, unafraid of dying here or even being busted this time around. People at this party would just laugh and forget about it. The balcony had been a good spot for Anuj and Avantika. They were having a ball, what with an upcoming band giving them a private performance in exchange of joints being passed to them.
Kartik had already texted Niyati, who said she was sending backup. Niyati obviously knew that Kartik was not really going to listen to Anuj or Avantika when it came to Anjali. So did Avantika, which was why she didn’t really push. Instead, she diffused the tension by asking the band to play Gangnam style as she danced with Anuj. Both of them rode invisible horses while standing on Kartik’s left and right. They spanked him on either cheek before they gave up.
— “We can’t cheer you up if you’re gonna be such a dick about it, dude.” Anuj actually frowned this time around.
— “I am not looking to be cheered up.” Kartik lit another cigarette.
— “What can we do to help?”
— “I need to know what to do if I run into Anjali. Or should I just stay here on the balcony till we are sure that she has left the party?”
— “If there is one thing you had to take away from tonight, what would it be?” Avantika decided to try Actorography on him.
— “That I am a loser who can’t have any fun.” Kartik took a sip of his drink and then a drag of the cigarette. “There was this one girl, one girl that I spent the better part of a decade trying to talk to and I managed to ruin even that. And now, I am not even sure what to say if I ran into her. Should I apologise? Or does it even make sense to apologise? Because not like there is any forgiveness at the end of the apology, even if she accepts it. She is still going to think of me as that weirdo creep, who according to her, wanted to tear her clothes off and do her on the lab table itself.”
— “Did you, though?” Avantika sniggered. “There is a seventy-thirty chance that I might have enjoyed that.”
— “No! I’m just a nice guy, who isn’t really sure of who he is anymore, who probably overthinks everything, and as of today is officially dependent on others to save him from situations.”
— “That is all of us, dickbag.” Anuj smacked the back of his head, much harder than Veena would have if she had been there. “You just need to loosen up.”
— “By the way, is Kartik’s cigarette allowed when there’s a joint doing the rounds?” Avantika raised the joint in her hand.
— “Yeah, everyone’s allowed to.” Anuj laughed, and so did Kartik. “Veena’s not here.”
— “Niyati said she’s sending Veena upstairs in a bit.” Avantika passed the joint to light one of her grape-flavoured slims.
— “So let us distract you till then.” Anuj looked at Kartik. “How about you tell me how I should die at this party?”
— “I think you should be strangled with a guitar string.”
— “That is a great idea!” Avantika clapped.
— “Guys, guys… One second.” Anuj waveed at the band as they stopped jamming. “Not you guitar-guy, you can keep strumming.”
— “So I have to fake a death later, and my friend Katti here seems to like you guys and it would really cheer him up if one of you strangles me with a spare guitar string?”
— “What?”
— “Don’t panic, you guys. I’m a trained actor.” Avantika stepped forward to ease the band. “I can help whichever of you volunteers to pull this off. And it is later, much later, so don’t worry.”
— “You are recruiting these people also?” That would be Anand.
Anand and Jeevan entered the balcony. Anand smiled as he spotted the band. He didn’t care about most genres but he’d listen to anything if it was played live. He introduced Avantika, Anuj and Kartik to Jeevan. Jeevan smiled as he introduced himself to everyone. He knew of Anuj’s past with Seher so he didn’t say anything to him and his handshake with Anuj lasted less than three seconds.
— “How’s it going?” He looked at Avantika, and then Kartik.
— “Quite good, actually.”
— “I heard your stalker is at this party?”
— “Thank you for finally landing here.” Kartik first made an iceberg face before he decided to ignore Jeevan. He was just immensely relieved Anand was finally there.
— “What happened?”
— “Anjali’s here.”
— “I know. Just chill, man. Fuck her. You have us, we’re having fun.” Anand put his arm around Kartik as he settled his butt against the balcony between Kartik and Anuj and Avantika shifted further to her left. “And once Veena’s back here, we’ll discuss dating options for you, we have to get you on the market, buddy!”
— “Is it stuffy in here or is it just me?” Jeevan unbuttoned his shirt, pulled it off and tied it around his waist.
— “That’s the opposite of what we have been telling him.” Anuj gave Anand a giant WTF look. “You of all the people should be on the side of closure. You underwent a crisis of faith and survived tonight.”
The drummer, who had his hands locked around the window, looked at his fat metal wrist watch. “It is three minutes to midnight!” He then left his window, jumped towards Anuj. “THREE MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT, BITCHES!” He screamed at everyone in the lawn from the balcony. Anuj stuffed a finger into his ear. The drummer then ran indoors to scream the same thing except he said ‘assholes’ instead of bitches. The band started playing an acoustic cover of Final Countdown. This one girl who had been silent all along piped up as she performed the main tune out loud, in a saxophone voice.
