#AskARecruiter: The Job Search — Part I

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

*Terms and Conditions: this post, its words and opinions cast, are absolutely, 100% my own. It’s long; save me the obvious. Read it later, on the toilet, on the train, in bed, wherever you want, or, don’t read it at all.
Colorful language is implied & accepted by my curse-check. I’m warning you now, so it’s on you.Trolls will be deleted; haters will be blocked. Cuz? “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” in this raw and truthful account of the lost #HumanExperience.

In this (dangerously) vulnerable, personal, truthful, unpleasant, yet comical exposure, here’s the Candidate Experience through the Job Search, where I, the Recruiter, am the Candidate.

What makes this account different? Well, as I spend my days sincerely helping others find meaningful work, I’m unable to do the same for myself. This, contrary to the remarkably unassuming opinions of many. And so, I’m exposing my trials as a Candidate who’s also a Recruiter.

The Earful
Back in 2013, I was the recipient of the frustrated reactions from one of my prior candidates. This via a verbal lashing unintentionally-well-targeted and which pierced the entirety of my right external acoustic meatus, (aka, the ear canal, per Wikipedia), similar to the effect echoed by that strip of material placed over a waxed patch of hair, yanked at 1 and 2, nevermind 3.

imagine this in your ear

In my defence, the emotional duress and strain borne through their job search wasn’t directed at me; rather, I was merely made an example of (again). The infancy of their search bore little consolation. You see, after 4 months of unemployment, a professional resume paid for handsomely, failed interviews, and ongoing disappointing responses, this Director of IT, (who’d until then celebrated a rather respectful and impressive career), was now left confused, lost, aimless, without direction, experiencing a lack of control unlike any other, and, consequently, completely beside themself.

“You’re lucky you’re not new to the single life, either,” I remember commenting at a later time, “that may have just pushed you over the edge!”

Though they hung up after impressing their soprano upon me, I subsequently received a call-back, this time dressed with apologies. It wasn’t necessary, really; I understood. And while some might have categorized the candidate as bipolar, manic, schizo, crazy, etc., that would been another woefully irresponsible and insensitive conclusion that Recruiters would never make, right? After all, as LinkedIn proudly reveals, we Recruiters are all outstanding professionals conducting ourselves with the strictest of ethical rules and following impeccable guidelines with communication skills and business acumen rivaling those taught at any ivy-league university.

With a family, mortgage, children in school, and experiencing a roller-coaster of emotions since the unexpected downsizing of a once successful company, my candidate was (not only) ill-prepared for the realities of unemployment in this still thriving technology climate of great jobs, but, further, they were now thrust into a range of emotions so trying and left facing tremendous uncertainty with navigational compass directing them back enroute.

Unemployment doesn’t Discriminate
If you’re familiar with my writings, I frequently emphasize “We’re all candidates.” And we are. Be you an employee, a contractor, and yes, even an entrepreneur and business owner, someone, somewhere is deciding whether or not they wish to employ your services.

Survival of the fittest? Not entirely because, as we also know, it’s not always the best candidate who’ll succeed in selection; often it’s the right candidate for the role. And who determines this best vs. right selection?
Come, now, don’t be silly! AI hasn’t yet taken over everything! Where humans are still involved, emotions will overrule, no matter how objective they tell you they’re being.

We All Know the Glove Didn’t Fit
“If the job description interests you, please send your resume and cover letter, explaining why you’re the right candidate for this role, to idontcheckyourprofile@careers.com and we’ll call you if you’re a fit.

If I’m a fit?
Well, according to the follow stats, Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m most certainly not a …fit (though, I’ve been known to have a few, here and there):

Timeline: 7 months (2017)
Jobs Applied-to: 84 (12 jobs/month)
Did Not Interview: 64 (74%)
a) Rejected ATS-responder: 41 (64%)
b) Rejected Ghosted: 23 (36%)
Interviewed: 20 (23%)
c) Withdrew: 6 (30%)
d) Rejected with-Reason: 6 (30%)
e) Rejected without-Reason: 8 (40%)

The Ghost-Recruiter: Aka, MIA — Recruitment a-la Tinder
The Ghost-recruiter. You know who you are. Yes, you.

You leave the candidate absolutely hanging; you’ve a) taken their time, b) required their input, c) asked them to detail this, that, and the other, short their mother’s maiden name; d) given them hope; and, e) simply disappeared without a single trace of accountability to your name.

You might as well enable the “bounce” filter ‘cuz your silence is worse.
The candidate reviews all prior communications emails, lest they be accused of imagining the whole experience.

Don’t they get it? Do people not understand that, fundamentally, we’re all candidates vying for a contract from a client; whether that client is an Employer or the end-user of our entrepreneurial business is irrelevant, We’re all candidates to some client and the above are but minimal examples of just some of the experiences candidates relate to everywhere. With little or no remorse from those participating players.

Now? I sniff Lavender every, what seems like, 15 minutes. It appears to minimize the negative impact the adventures of a job search have on our mental well-being. Considering I’m sniffing this actual thing, it can’t be a placebo effect.

Virtual Recruiter Interviews

Yesterday’s 1st pre-Interview Discussion
Me
: “Oh my God. You’re kidding me right? You’re going to do what?
Genius Entrepreneur: “Now hold on, you’re misunderstanding!”
Of course I am. I’m misunderstanding this just as I misunderstood my last employer* to be ethical.”
*Employer: where I was the employee, not a contractor.

The Process: you need to create a 10-minute vlog (video blog) detailing why you want the job, why you’re the right candidate, why you this, why you that, and why why why…
Then? We post it on our YouTube page (so that we can drive traffic to our Digital Marketing “best-in-breed” site) and ask members of the public viewing community (aka, trolls) to review and comment on (aka, judge) your performance and then we make our decision.

And now for the rest of the earlier conversation:

Me: Are you ******* ******* me right now!? No, seriously. ‘Cuz you can’t be serious about his ****, right?
FML. How the **** did I get here?

Yesterday’s 2nd pre-Interview Discussion
The creative cover-up was brought to me courtesy of the Direct Sales industry; that is, an MLM, multi-level marketing, organization, to be precise.

Me: sigh… “I see. Well, well done.” I rubbed my eyes, I rubbed my temples (with my eyes still shut prompting a little discomfort in one eye. I probably punctured my pupil in the process. I opened my eyes, ready to re-engage, yet couldn’t see through that one. Yep, I’ve lost an eye through all this.
Unless you’re a contact lens aficionado, you won’t recognize the ordeal.
I’d dislocated a contact lens through the sadistic massage I’d given myself, listening to the “Entrepreneur” posting for Executive Recruiters.
Forget #ThirdEyeBlind, I’m already at -8.0 and -7.5 (left and right respectively) and now I was at -8.0 and N/A.
Silence on the receiving end. I continued #OneEyeReallyBlind:

Me: “This is, eh, Virtual Recruiter opportunity, as you’ve brilliantly positioned it is, actually, for a pyramid scheme. I get it now and I get just how you did it. Bravo, you ****.”
I’ll spare you the charming dialogue that enhanced my migraine and which immediately prompted the dopamine and norepinephrine neurotransmitters to the edge of the cliff.

I found and replaced my contact lens then continued on course.

The Course
Such is the reality in this ongoing effort and, unequivocally, (without need for any academic and scholarly validation), I’m certainly not alone in this experience.

Grown Men Cry
Over the course of a friend’s near one-year job search, they ate through their EI after experiencing the following repeat rejections:
1) You’re overqualified.
2) You won’t stay in this job long.
3) We’re not ready for your talents but we’ll keep you on file in case a future role requires it.
4) …. nothing …crickets…

And then, came the day; the one following our interview preparation for a role he really wanted. For the record, I wasn’t the Recruiter who presented the candidate to the following interview, but I helped this candidate prepare for those “curve-ball questions”, none of which were experienced.

Instead:
Semira,” spoke the voice on the other end of the call, “the interview left me crying in the parking lot for one hour.”
Was this our standard sarcasm or something far deeper?
Me: “Pardon me? Is this an exaggerating or…” he interrupted…
Him: “No, I’m not exaggerating. I’m dead serious! I was panel interviewed by 4 people and they focussed on skills that were irrelevant for this role and which I used in another job. I had no clue they’d even touch on this! Then, when I left the room, get this: my Recruiter asked me about the details of that job and said that I shouldn’t have mentioned it and to leave that off the table next time!”
I nearly lost another contact.
“So, I asked this **** who’s now wasted 5 hours of my life, “You’ve had my resume for weeks! You presented me to <COMPANY>! You didn’t see this?! Why didn’t you prepare me for what they’re going to ask and focus on then?!”

Recruiter PayBack?
“Ha! You’re a Recruiter! Good! Now you know how the rest of us feel ‘cuz you Recruiters do this to us all the time!”

Yes and No
Yes
: I know how this feels because, as I repeatedly claim: we’re all candidates; and
No: not all of us Recruiters do this to candidates all the time. Despite the popular LinkedIn Recruiter bashing and slandering piled upon us as you claim us to be: Parasites and walking pieces of ****:

Apparently, Recruiters have been called “Arrogant, #POS on Legs”

Part II, tomorrow:
Feedback? What Feedback?

#theSIAPerspective | forever championing for the #candidate

theSIAPerspective

challenging traditional practices & advancing People as Assets in the workspace

the SIA Perspective

Written by

observations. i make and respond to them. in writing.

theSIAPerspective

challenging traditional practices & advancing People as Assets in the workspace

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