#AskARecruiter: The Job Search — Part III

Part III, and this series finale:
They’re Just Not that Into You

And, here it is, some of the very probable comments and facts they won’t tell you:

1) Face it, Semira, they don’t like you.
2) “You know nothin’!” Hasn’t #GOT taught you anything?
3) You talk too much.
4) You’re too opinionated.
5) You don’t like to be micromanaged and they want to micromanage you.
6) You ask too many questions (see #3).
7) You think too much.
8) “They’re just not that into you.”
9) You’re a flight risk …because you’re not going to stay in this position….

Just Stop Right There! I’m NOT Having It!

Oh, Hell, No!

No, No, & No!

No.

The number of times I’ve had to, eh, explain, how it is I came about my achievements, almost apologetically? I didn’t. Apologize, that is. However, I have wondered, on countless occasions, how, and why it is that in Startup environments, where wearing various hats and doing what needs to be done, is the norm, and where you’re supposedly rewarded for such abilities and accomplishments, you’re later penalized by the complete opposite.

And, I? I’m not apologizing for being given, and having merited, additional responsibilities due to my performance track record and constant “I can do it!” attitude and stepping up because I wanted to! Nor for being so ambitious and driven that I wasn’t going to be held back in any environment, by anyone, but myself. Isn’t that precisely what you’re hired to do and why you elect to join such environments? To wear those many hats?! (As crazy and unsustainable as that eventually becomes, after all, age is a funny thing, no?) To do, learn, and be a part of precisely the type of opportunity that might otherwise have taken an entire career (in a traditional corporate environment) to achieve. My strengths therefore achieved me “The GetItDone Girl” and “RecruitmentMachine” reputations; not for nothing.

I’m not boasting; everything comes at/with a price. I take pride in my performance, as we all should, and it’s not a matter of being defensive. What it is, however, is a matter of the absurdity in what we face; a hypocrisy of varying audacities. From one angle, you’re promised to be brought up and promoted, from the next, you’re questioned rather than appreciated and recognized for your abilities and contributions.

Ah, ****. Not THIS again.

Another reason why painting everyone and every scene with the same brush (i.e. everyone wants to work in an open space environment; everyone must stand at attention when the CEO is talking; everyone must want to work overtime else risk being deemed a non-team player; everyone must be at work between the hours of 8–6, even those of you who’re not morning people and get their best work done between 12–8) is just so counter-intuitive, we see the consequences all around and as they silently develop in us only to handicap us through Burnout (another article to follow).

I digress.

10) You challenge the bosses too much.
11) You need to go to more MeetUp events.
Yeah, No. I don’t.
Why is that?

Let’s Play Role Play
oh, yay.

Interviewer: “Tell us something about yourself that either few know or others are surprised to learn about you.”
Here we go. Sure isn’t my sarcasm or publically broadcasted opinions, (aka, “What did Semira say now?). They won’t believe this one…

At the risk of compromising my entire credibility, but for amongst those who actually really do know me:

Me: “If we’re going to use socially constructed labels: I’m an Introvert.”

….hello? helloooo? Anybody still there?

…. people?

Tsk. Listen, it’s true.

I extrovert (yes, I verbed that labelling noun) at work; all day, on the phone, every day, in conversation, with the “can-do” and “do-do” attitude where I make it happen. And for all this do-do, I make it happen.

I ain’t boastin’, I’m factin’. And guess what else? This do-do comes at a cost. Because, what I also make happen is my own exhaustion. For an Introvert, especially, this is dangerous (wait for it: Cross-border Burnout, it’s coming). Irrespective your social label, Burnout is non-agnostic — that is, it don’t discriminate!

All of the above? Be Proud. Yes, be really proud and don’t change one bit.

Bringing This Series All To a Close
Job Search Results: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
So as day (approximately) 210 of my job search efforts go:
1) I’ve shut the pc down and just walked away, aimlessly, then gone back to it
2) I’ve held my hands in my head and paced through the apartment, wondering: “What the heck is going on?
3) I’ve cried, too many tears leaving a nasty-a** headache and puffy eyes which, no, Preparation H doesn’t handle (another lie they told us)
4) I’ve avoided my bank account
5) I’ve considered getting an interim job
6) I’ve sunk in quick-sand: self-doubt
7) I’ve heard far too many voices (critical self-talk) that, apparently, only I could hear (?)
8) Mirror Mirror on the Wall: I’ve looked at her, acknowledged my reality and, no, I wouldn’t change the past including any prior actions taken, conversations held, or decisions made, because you have to stand up for what you believe in (#SayNOtoBullying)
9) I’ve been there, done that, over again, and went back for more, because that’s what you do.
You remain persistent. You keep going.You consider all options.

There does come a point when you realize you’re either blind to the writing on the wall (and we know my vision is really bad), or… you realize the writing on the wall is written not in hieroglyphics but as a message you either avoiding, fighting, or fearing, or maybe you.. just… don’t …know.

So, having now cast my plight (and, yes, exposed my pain) amongst the many others out there, I continue the effort, high on lavender. Give it a try sometime; what’s the worst that can happen? You’ll achieve calm?

I will continue, but in another form because the experience breaks and makes you. The vision eventually clears, be it some satanic appearance or cloud lifted in due time, and my experience illustrated is not foreign and relatable to many.

Some will say: “This is precisely why I’ve refused to work for anyone but myself!”, others may thrash the insensitive: “Oh, boohoo, get over yourself.”
Whatever the case or reaction, the kick and piss-on is familiar. The underlying reality is similar to the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; where, the Lion is the Recruiter; the Witch, the job in competition and/or the employer; and the Wardrobe, the Candidate.

The Candidate Experience involves all three entities. But how many really venture into the Wardrobe? That is, how many actually explore what’s behind the door, that is, beneath the surface? How many actually consider the impact of this entire experience on the job-seeker’s psyche, livelihood, self-identity, perceived self-worth, family, loved ones, quality of life, health, and more?

The inner struggles of the job search chip away at the very best of us. It’s also common to forget the hard times when in the good. For some, memories of these common challenges evaporate the minute they’re no longer seeking a job. Kinda’ like the married person, no longer single and now wearing a holier- and better-than-thou attitude as they’re no longer part of that unsullied society anymore. That of the Unemployed.

After all, active candidates are active for a reason, right?Only passive candidates are good candidates.

Recruiters are taught to target those who’re working and lure them away with tempting and tantalizing offers challenging their current commitments and loyalties. Ha! Who’re we kidding? Loyalties? Employers taint candidates with the “flight-risk” stamp! They blame them for heading to the next best offer mainly because of what it’s going to cost them! But, believe me, I repeat, Believe Me. we’ve been told by many a hiring manager: “You need to hire from company X, Y, or Z. Else, why is so-and-so unemployed?”

Don’t blame the candidate. We do that to ourselves enough.

Blame the ******* system that each entity is responsible for creating: The Recruiter, The Job & Employer, and the Candidate.

And there, Friends, there’s your Candidate and Job Search Experience, from the mouth of a Recruiter and Candidate.

the SIA Perspective

Written by

observations. i make and respond to them. in writing.

theSIAPerspective

challenging traditional practices & advancing People as Assets in the workspace

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