Magic: The Gathering
Magical Thinking: Alara Reborn
Welcome back to Magical Thinking, a look back at the cards and art of Magic: the Gathering, set by set, from the beginning, all through the eyes of a casual fan. This week we are looking at the final set of the Alara block, April of 2009’s Alara Reborn.
It’s pretty much what it says in the title: Alara has re-merged into a single plane after centuries of being five separate planes. How are the natives coping? We’ll find out today. Also, this particular set is significant because it’s made up entirely of multicolor cards. So get ready for a ride!
Here is one obvious consequence of the world merging: cross-faction pollination. Here we see a Bant knight getting in on that Etherium. It’s not as cool as knights with guns but it’s a good starting point.
And I would have gotten away with it if not for those meddling mages!
More seriously, look at that flavor text! I have mentioned that White and Blue together are the asshole colors, right? I mean you remember me railing against the Azorious Senate, right?
These guys are just waiting for Mufasa to get back from talking to his son so they can start the party.
I don’t think Ali Baba is going to be able to swing this one. Shroud is just a bridge too far. The guy’s not magic.
I’m not sure if this is an argument for or against recycling. It’s definitely part of the conversation. Although I’d like to imagine the Grixis Necromancers just discarding all that Etherium while making incomplete zombies out of the Esperites, and then being like “Hey, let’s make a monster out of that scrap pile!”
Head’s looking a little lopsided there, buddy? You okay? Well, I mean obviously not because you are a zombie, but still.
I guess this is where they put everyone who couldn’t get a head.
I’m sorry. I’d promise the jokes will get better from here on but we both know that isn’t the case.
I had no idea there was a Vedalken zombie, and I love the little horror story that follows it. As someone who is about to run a Ravenloft campaign, this is relevant to my interest.
Oof. Sometimes I feel like this guy after eating a pizza then laying down. Acid reflux is a pain. Go get some antacids, my dude. My treat.
And to think I thought that Magic wouldn’t have the spine to make this card.
Wow. That was a Crypt Keeper level of pun, wasn’t it?
There’s your nightmare fuel for the day. Have a good night sleep, kids! You know, between that and the new planeswalker from Modern Horizons II (You know the one) I am amazed Wizards gets away with some of the stuff they put on cards.
Wayne Reynolds, everybody! Now that the Foglios are not making Magic card art anymore Mr. Reynolds is my favorite Magic artist. Pretty sure that guy in the background is an ancestor of Lini, the Pathfinder Iconic druid.
Neat! A plant-based Hellion. Also, GOTTA GO FAST. It hits you in the face, then runs around the world just to do that again.
Oh yeah, and I guess we got this cycle of mana rocks representing stones marking the new borders between regions. At least they got more story than most mana rocks.
“Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to go apeshit?” — Rhox Brute, probably.
Um, what are these guys supposed to be? Vedalken? I’m not entirely sure.
Yeah, I’m sure this can’t possibly backfire. Let’s drag this giant murder worm into a fight with us. I mean, I thought Bant were supposed to be the nice faction here and they pull stuff like this? It isn’t just mean, it’s mean and dumb.
Dude, I get it. You’re just doing this to collect every faction’s epic mount. You don’t need to lie to me. I played WoW before. I’m hip.
I feel like this is implying Grixis is getting the best deal out of the merger because now that they have White and Green mana again they can actually grow stuff. Which is in fact a big deal.
He’d tell us about his other sigils, but he really has to get back to guarding Tai Lung. Have I done a Kung Fu Panda joke yet? Well, now I have.
So the Ethersworn are a cult then? Because this seems super culty to me. Like they are up to some messed up stuff here. I have mentioned that Black and White sometimes bring out the worst in one another, right?
Man, that would be just the worst: flying and on fire. I mean, that’s a Bant lion horse. It has no idea what the Hell is going on. Leave them alone!
Now that is one big boy. This is why I love Golgari.
OH, HEY. MORE NIGHTMARE FUEL. GOODNIGHT KIDS. PLEASANT DREAMS.
Also, I just noticed that Alara has minotaurs now. Did they always have those?
Black Friday sales on Alara are just as bad as our worlds. Maybe worse. At least here you don’t have to worry about being trampled by a rhino man.
I have some personal experience with this guy because he’s in standard as of this writing, showing up in core 2021. They’re a pretty powerful little guy in the right deck. I’ve had people concede to them right away. So yeah, big props to smart snake.
Still really love MTG sphinxes. Especially cyborg sphinxes.
Go west, young zombie! Where the streets are paved with brains!
The Unscythe, the official weapon of Seven Up, the uncola. Does anyone have ANY idea what I am talking about here?
The word eyesore gets thrown around, but this guy will MAKE you eye sore.
So…Alara has their own bigfoot?
This is how I felt when they told us we didn’t have to wear masks if we were fully vaccinated last week.
This is why you always want to check the number before calling magical aid from another dimension. It’s like ordering something off of Amazon. You got to be careful.
I guess we know where that misplaced angel ended up then. Shame that.
Also, OOH THAT BOLAS. I hope he never shows up again (Spoiler: He does).
I love the story here, like the Bant have this whole routine before they enter battle and the goblin is just like “ENOUGH TALK FIGHT NOW.”
I love the look on the skeleton’s face here. He’s like “Well I thought things couldn’t get worse for me, being an undead abomination, and yet here we are.”
And here we are, at the end of another Magical Thinking. Next week we start a new block, on a brand new plane. And we are visiting one of the best known and beloved planes in the Magic multiverse. Get your adventuring gear ready and prepare to do some hardcore parkour, because next time it’s Zendikar. But until then, stay Magical.
