Magic: The Gathering
Magical Thinking: Darksteel
Welcome back to Magical Thinking, a retrospective on the cards and art of Magic: the Gathering, set by set, from the beginning. All through the eyes of a casual fan. This week we continue our look at the Mirrodin block with the second set of the block: Darksteel.
Released in February 2004, Darksteel continues following the adventures of Glissa Sunseeker and her band as they plunge into the hollow core of Mirrodin. There they discover the secret of the artificial plane: Memnarch is real, and he’s been waiting for Glissa’s arrival. Will Memnarch be thwarted, or will he succeed in achieving omnipotence?
ASMR: Mirrodin edition. Even the Elephant Power rangers gotta sleep, right?
Wow, see what I mean? That ASMR really works. They’re out like lights. Aw, they’re so….cute? When they sleep. I wanna give Rust Elemental a belly rub now. Tetanus be damned!
I like the fact she has all the circle of protections circling her head as halos. Now that’s a call back to classic Magic.
Soulscour sounds like the name of an extreme and new laundry detergent. Try new Soulscour. It will render your clothes as clear and empty as the expanse of the universe. We are truly alone. Truly Alone.
Soulscour! It’s existentially clean!
Thor gets drunk and screws with super villains. Green Goblin broke three ribs and can’t see out of his right eye, but it’s all in good fun.
I’m sorry, but I can’t take these things seriously. All I can think of is that the Veldaken must have some very specific fetishes. DO YOU GUYS HAVE A DEVIANTART GROUP? YOU CAN TELL ME. I’M HIP!
Psychic Overload: AKA checking the news feed on any given day in 2020.
So maybe not as bad as Broodstar, but it can still be a pain since it can endlessly be bounced and replayed for cheap if you have enough artifacts out (Or artifact lands as the case may be).
This is actually a much better look at the Vedalken from the side, something you don’t get a lot of in these early sets with them. It looks like they are fully aquatic and they have gills, as opposed to later Vedalken who would be amphibious.
Considering whats coming I think this is going to be the most important tech card in the entire set.
Yep, even Horrors make it to Mirrodin. I always did like Horrors, although a Horror tribal deck would probably be pretty lousy. They’re more meant to be played as big solo things in decks.
What If: HR Geiger designed a Magic: the Gathering creature?
There is a fan theory that the Mephidross that spawns the Nim is actually the Phyrexian oil, just called something else at the time because the Mirrans didn’t know what it was. I think Mark Rosewater confirmed this at one point but don’t quote me. This guy is pretty good evidence for that theory.
Oh come on, you can look more crazed than that. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would say that’s a 2 on the crazed meter. Maybe a 3, if I am feeling generous.
Hey, it’s another classic card from Alpha brought back for the modern day. Fireball doesn’t really show up anymore. The last time will be in Magic core 2010, which is a shame because it’s kind of an iconic spell, not just of Red but of Magic in general. Everyone envisions a wizard throwing fireballs at people, right?
On Mirrodin topical cream is as valuable as gold, maybe moreso. How else can you handle all that itching and burning? I mean look at that poor Loxodon. He’s screaming for relief.
I just love the fact there is a card called “Savage Beating” in Magic. Everyone has a plan until an army of Goblins come and hit you in the face four times each.
Slobad is another of Glissa’s traveling companions. He’s also probably the greatest hero of Mirrodin, and ends up getting done dirty after he rescues the entire plane from certain destruction. Rest in peace, Slobad, you crazy green angel.
Again, why is Memnarch bringing all these artifact unfriendly creatures to Mirrodin? Does he want to lose? Also, bugs with teeth. People teeth. Ick.
So it’s like Blastoderm from Nemesis, only it’s gonna die off much much faster than when it had fading.
I feel like this is a creature waiting for a meta where less artifacts are being played for it to really shine.
Have I mentioned I really like Wurms? They are always such cool creatures in Magic, because they’re just big, mean and scary.
Man, that must have been really confusing for Memnarch to just have dryads begin showing up on Mirrodin. I wonder if that’s what prompted him to start sending out Levelers and stuff.
Aether is like the five hour energy of the Magic world. Just a quick drink of it and you wont need any Mana that day, that’s for sure.
Ah, the Arcbound. There are a ton of these Arcbound creatures, and each of them with the new keyword Modular, which gives them +1/+1 counters when they come into play, and lets them attach them to other artifact creatures when they die. Apparently this was a pretty broken mechanic, with Modular coming in at an 8 on the Storm Scale, so don’t expect to see this too often.
HE IS LARGE AND POINTING.
Okay I should say don’t expect to see too many of these outside of this set, because as I mentioned before, there are a lot of these Arcbound guys.
A loooot of them.
Oh hey, and Slith. Remember that creature type from Mirrodin? Yeah me neither.
This was way before Magic introduced the vehicle mechanic, but I always enjoy seeing these weird proto-vehicles Magic comes out with from time to time.
Okay, now here is the iconic monster of this set with its iconic keyword: Indestructible. Indestructible was such a good mechanic it went on to become evergreen, and eventually replaced regenerate as a commonly used keyword.
Anyway, back to the biggest of the big. Even if you find a way around indestructible, he goes right back to the library, and he’s a big mean 11/11 trampler on top of that.
I always love these alternate win cards. I have to wonder what happens when the reactor fully charges. Does it fire a death ray to destroy your foes? Does it charge you up and turn you into a God? Does it make your opponent keep entering strings of numbers to prevent it from going off? Who knows?
Memnarch, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but your giant monster designs have some serious design flaws. I mean come on, who would play this? It’s not game ending like Leveler, but it may as well be.
I feel like a screaming book is the last thing you want in a library. Maybe it’s just me. See Geth, this is why you wouldn’t get a card till the next Mirrodin block.
Hey, another card that turns you into a Lich. Although this one doesn’t necessarily kill you when it leaves the field (Unless your life hits zero before you lose it of course). Honestly, I much prefer Platinum Angel.
And here’s the big bad himself. Ready to turn your permanents into artifacts and then steal them? Permanently?! Basically for seven Mana a turn he takes something of your opponent’s. And it’s only four mana if what he’s stealing is already an Artifact.
So you can basically add as many spells to this thing as you want, whenever you want, then cast them for free at the start of your turn. This is banned in commander. Pretty obvious why because this is a really strong card.
Speaking of banned cards. This is also banned in Modern and Legacy, presumably because it lets you turn in weenie creatures in exchange for endless card draw. Like this is one of the more infamous cards from this set.
I like the flavor here, where it just rope-a-dopes until it’s ready to actually fight back. Probably works well as a target for Modular creatures.
Coming soon to HBO Max. I don’t know anything about Game of Thrones. All I know is that there is a big guy who says Hordor, and that’s about it. Also that the last season of the show was really dumb.
And of course another cycle of golems, these ones with affinity for lands. So you can get this out really fast if you have a lot of forests (Which, well. it’s green so you will be getting out land pretty quick I think).
That’s actually really profound flavor text. I may have to use that some time in a DnD game.
I like the flavor of this one, where it’s turning your lands into elementals. Just be careful not to run out of lands.
Speaking of lands, lets end on another artifact land. This time an indestructible one. Perfect for your artifact casting needs.
And that brings us to the end of Darksteel. Things look pretty bleak for Glissa and the gang, don’t they? But don’t worry, it’s always darkest before the dawn, and we got five of them coming up. Next week, we close out the Mirrodin block with Fifth Dawn. Until then, stay Magical.
