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Magic: The Gathering

Magical Thinking: Eldritch Moon

Jessie Staffler
The Ugly Monster
Published in
9 min readOct 27, 2021

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Welcome back to Magical Thinking, a look back at the cards and art of Magic: the Gathering, set by set, from the beginning, through the eyes of a casual fan. This week we finish October right by looking at the second set of the Return to Innistrad block: July 2016’s Eldritch Moon.

Some admin about last week’s article: I was informed after the fact that I was wrong about the plot line: The fact that Emrakul was behind everything was actually a big spoiler and the whole thing was supposed to be a mystery to find out what was going on. So sorry for spoiling a five year old card expansion I guess.

But yeah, now Emrakul actually is on Innistrad, and she’s corrupting everything she can. And Jace has brought in the Gatewatch to fight back against her, including a new member, everyone’s favorite Necromancer Lilliana Vess (because apparently zombies are immune to Eldrazi taint). Who will win in this battle of eldritch horrors vs. the living dead, and will Innistrad survive?

While Ulamog and Krozilek create drones and such, Emrakul just mutates existing things into Eldrazi. And here we have a new mechanic: Emerge lets you play a creature for cheaper by sacrificing a creature and paying the emerge cost minus that creature’s converted mana cost. A pretty good deal. Emerge was only in this set and only on ten cards. So it’s a pretty rare ability.

And here’s the big lady herself. I should mention this set is one of those “graveyard matters” set, so make sure you have a diverse graveyard to get her out faster. Also not only is she instant-proof (no counterspells or bounces or anything) but she also has a built-in mind slaver effect (although they also get a turn after that to try and clean up the mess you make for them).

You may be having a bad day, but you aren’t having a “giant mutant wolf just knocked down my house and is about to eat me” bad day like the guy with the axe is.

Avacyn’s sisters have also fallen to corruption by Emrakul, but I’m sure if they stick together they can find a way to make it alright…

Bad choice of words, I guess. This has another new mechanic: Meld cards lets you combine two cards into one big Eldrazi mess. You think Emerge is rare, Meld only shows up on three pairs of cards.

Escalate is a new mechanic where you pay the escalate cost in order to pick more of the cards options. So call in all your pals! You can do it Gideon! teamwork makes the dream work!

Dude, just pick up the goat already. It’s not that big.

Ghosts are easily the nicest creatures on Innistrad.

Oof, I already made my sticking together joke with the Angels. But yeah, all the transform cards this time around are gonna be Eldrazi-themed, and they’re all gonna be this gross.

Man, we’re getting into some dark territory here. I know it’s the horror-themed deck but this is reaching The Dark levels of unsettling.

The ghosts are kicking ass and taking names today. They’re gonna mess the Eldrazi up.

Meanwhile it seems like the angels aren’t faring so good. They’ve pretty much all gone to the Eldrazi side at this point. That can’t be good.

*Waves cookie in front of portal* Here Emrakul, heeeere Emrakul. Nice Eldrazi, I have cookies.

Nice to know even with the Eldrazi destroying the world the local mad scientists are still on their bullshit.

Ha! You thought he was finished last time, but that wasn’t even his final form. This is. And now he’s got an entire hive of his buddies.

Hey, sometimes you catch the fish…

And sometimes you tun into the fish.

I mean holy shit, you don’t notice it until you see the up close version but look at the end of his angler.

One of the problem with doing these in order is they sometimes spoil the ending. In this case we see that Emrakul gets banished into the moon by Tamiyo…except its not Tamiyo, it’s Emrakul who banishes herself into the moon. It’s complicated.

So I guess not all the ghosts on Innistrad are nice, but they’re still batting a higher average than most other creatures in Innistrad.

“I WILL LEARN THE SECRET OF THE COLONEL’S ELEVEN SPICES.”

She looks like she’s about to chuck a moon at someone like it’s the spirit bomb. Which is awesome.

Lilliana is not one of my all-time favorite planeswalkers, but I gotta say this set makes a good case for her.

Case in point, here comes Lilliana to save the day. I mean, not a lot of times you’re glad for a zombie apocalypse, but as it turns out two apocalypses (apocalypti?) cancel each other out. Who knew?

And here are our next set of melding cards: A swarm of rats, and a gang of grave robbers. What do they merge into together?

A huge mess apparently. Actually “A huge mess” describes most of these Eldrazi creatures.

And here is Lilliana herself, just living her best life straight up (Actually, no, that will be when we get to Amonkhet, but more on that later).

Oh yeah, Lilliana is the best.

I’m honestly not sure what’s going on with the art on this one. Is um…yeah. I got nothing.

Yeah, first you join the dark side, and then you join the “What the fuck, man, you got problems” side.

Being part Eldrazi means doing sit-ups has never been easier.

Inforwars: Not even once.

I mean, yeah, the giant squid thing is turning everyone into monsters, but the real problem are those damn wolves.

So first you turn into a werewolf, then you turn into an Eldrazi. Man, Innistrad werewolves can’t win for losing.

Yeah, somehow I doubt that.

This is the last meld pair, this time melding a creature and a town to form…

Hanweir, a planned community. As in it’s planned to be burned to the ground because holy crap.

What about everyone else in Innistrad? Did they bring it upon themselves?

Like you can tell who was a pre-mending planeswalker because they’re the biggest assholes. You don’t see Chandra doing shit like this all I’m saying.

“Oh and buy Crypto!” (Don’t actually buy Crypto.)

There’s only one thing worse than a werewolf and that’s a FIRE BREATHING werewolf.

…Okay, make that two things worse than a werewolf.

Because sometimes the answer to a giant eldritch abomination is “MORE DAKKA!”

So wait, Eldrazi also make crop circles? Neat.

Again, we’re getting events out of order. Because this was supposed to happen first, and then Lilliana comes out and becomes #Girlboss and defeats the Eldrazi with her zombie army.

“I mean, yeah, I turned myself into a horrible tentacle monster. But hey, got that bear out the well. Also? Can reach the top shelf without a step ladder. Yep, this was a good idea.”

I like the flavor of this card. It just pokes something and then that thing becomes another 1/3. I also like it competing with Emrakul to see who can convert what first?

Nice to see the wolves and the elk are totally unaffected by the impending apocalypse. We are the virus (No we’re not).

The current mentality of those fighting climate change.

Thanks for the help there, Sorin. It’s not like the Gatewatch isn’t busting their asses to fix things or anything. This was actually a point of discussion at the message-board I frequent, rpg.net, that Sorin lacks the ability to follow through on things; He didn’t help when the Eldrazi came back, and now he’s not helping to stop Emrakul.

Tamiyo, for all her faults, at the very least helped with the whole Avacyn and Eldrazi thing, even though it turns out Emrakul was possessing her at one point and made her use one of her forbidden spells. However Tamiyo had a major non-interference thing going on, which is fine, but in certain cases you can’t just stay neutral. If you don’t pick a side, a side will be picked for you.

…Where can I get me one of those?

And on that note the Eldritch Moon sets as the Halloween season comes to a close, at least for us. Come back next week when we start a new block with a brand new plane. Get your tools ready and plug in your batteries, because our next stop is Kaladesh. But until then, Stay Magical.

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Jessie Staffler
The Ugly Monster

Creative Writer looking to make money writing. Prefers to write stuff based on fantasy, Sci fi and horror