Magic: The Gathering
Magical Thinking: Innistrad
Welcome Back to Magical Thinking, a look at the art and cards of Magic: the Gathering, set by set, from the beginning. All through the eyes of a casual fan. This week I’m very excited because we’re looking at a personal favorite of mine! I wasn’t playing at the time this came out, but I still knew of this set, and I loved it. Today we start the Innistrad block with September 2011’s Innistrad (And hey, it was just in time for Halloween).
Innistrad is Magic’s horror-themed domain. It’s a place of murderous vampires, savage werewolves, mad scientists and their twisted creations, and all sorts of ghoulies and ghosties going bump in the night. So grab your garlic and your holy water, crank up the Castlevania soundtrack, and let’s go a monster hunting.
Since White comes first on the color wheel we need to spend some time talking about the human faction. These are the priests of Avacyn, who are basically the Van Helsing club. Humans are the only non-monstrous or Angel race on Innistrad, so it’s basically them vs. everyone else (Kind of like with the elves on Lorwyn, only less racism).
What an excellent day for an exorcism.
Here we are at last. First we had cards which had different counters on them, then we had threshold cards, then we had cards with different stats when you flipped them upside down, but here’s where we struck gold: Cards with different cards on the back. This was how Wizards could simulate cards that transformed. This was a winning mechanic to be sure. And it’s used in a lot of neat and creative ways in Innistrad, as we will see going forward.
See, stuff like this is why I’m an introvert. The monsters can’t ever get you if you stay in your house (Unless the monsters are in your house…OH NO IT’S A COOK BOOK!).
It’s not just angels and monster hunters pulling for White. We also get spirits, AKA ghosts. An underrated tribe but one I’ve always had a soft spot for.
Dang, I already used my Exorcist joke.
This card is neat because it’s basically a weaker Pacifism. It makes the creature useless for attacking, but it can still block, and it can block even better than before because it can fly. It’s pretty good flavor, but I’m not sure how good the actual card is.
The then leader of the Avacyn faith, but who is Avacyn? Well, that can keep for later.
Hey it’s flashback! Remember that mechanic? Well it’s back. Speaking of flashbacks, I’m having a flashback to The Dark, which was the last time we had witch hunters and angry mobs in Magic (Luckily less goblin mutilation this time though, RIP Gobby).
Something kind of neat about a werewolf who keeps foxes as pets.
I haven’t had a chance to talk about intimidate, which was the mechanic that has replaced fear (which, if you don’t recall, means a creature can only be blocked by Black or Artifact creatures). Intimidate has the same principle, only instead of black it can only be blocked by creatures that share its color. Which, if nothing else, makes the effect more versatile and harder to plan against.
WE’RE A BIG UNRULY MOOOOOOB! If you grew up with Nicktoons you just got a major nostalgia rush. You’re welcome.
This angry mob is way more useful than the last one we got in The Dark, since this one gets bigger the more stuff dies (representing the mob getting bigger and more outraged the more death surrounds it, which again is great flavor). Makes it way easier to pump these guys up for a fight.
Blue is probably my favorite color of this set because Blue is the color of MAD SCIENCE! It’s all strange creatures and Frankenstein’s monsters (called Skaab here) and unethical dangerous experiments. It’s gonna be amazing.
This guy sounds like one of those right wing twitter trolls, which means in about five seconds…
Yeah, there we go. Don’t be a Twitter troll, kids. It’s not healthy. Also, eat a salad once in a while, buddy. Because, goddamn, there’s such a thing as too much protein.
So, we had Jekyll and Hyde with the last card. Three guesses what this one is gonna do.
And Brundlefly joins the brawl.
Also if all the test animals died, don’t you think that might be kind of a red flag not to proceed? You aren’t allowed near science anymore.
I guess they can’t all be mad science, but hey, a giant crab is pretty scary, right? Now all we need is Godzilla.
I feel like we are dangerously close to making a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen theme deck, which is what I think Alan Moore would play if he played Magic.
This is a pretty infamous card where I hang around online, and it’s a pretty sneaky way to get some wins since you can play it and mill yourself to victory.
…Well, we got Godzilla. I mean, it will have to do (at least until Ikoria).
It wouldn’t be mad science without the lightning storm, would it? Fire up those Tesla coils, baby! We got some zombie building to do!
Similar to the Frankenstein Monster from The Dark, you build some Skaab by stitching together monsters from your graveyard, which means you have another reason to self mill aside from Laboratory Maniac.
Of course some zombies need more parts than others. On the other hand, like a good horror movie villain, this Skaab is hard to keep down.
If these mad scientists actually did think twice they wouldn’t be in this situation.
Because sometimes you just need a metric ton of zombies to kill everything in your path.
This one is a little more vague than most transform effects. Basically they go from a young starting out vampire to a big boss vampire, but only if they recruit enough vampires. Apparently vampirism is a pyramid scheme?
Here is another new mechanic: Curses. They are enchantments on the players themselves which do bad things, like in this case slowly destroying their graveyard. Pretty bad in a set with so many graveyard dependent spells.
They are really going above and beyond with the zombie apocalypse theme. First you get 13 zombies, so you know what we need now? MORE ZOMBIES!
Well, I would ask WHY she wanted to inspire terror, but really what was she even expecting here?
It wouldn’t be a horror themed set without Magic’s first lady of fright, the mistress of the undead herself, Liliana Vess. I bet she’s really enjoying herself here too.
Hey, another new mechanic. This one is called morbid. If something dies the turn this was played, it does something extra. Pretty fitting for this sort of set.
REMEMBER ME, EDDIE? WHEN I KILLED YOUR BROTHER? I TALKED JUST. LIKE. THIIIIIIS!”
Man, I am just knocking the nostalgia out of the park this week.
It wouldn’t be Black without some rats. And it looks like we got some nice and nasty rats in this set. Also, these are part of the Arena Beginner set, so I’ve played with them on Arena before.
Yeah, I think this guy is having a bad night as a monster. Happens to the best of us buddy. You hang in there (Or you know, maybe not since he’d definitely dead).
And this is why you always make sure to leave good reviews at the B&Bs you visit. This is not a sight you want to wake up to after giving a place two stars on Yelp.
It’s kind of weird that Innistrad has dragons, but I guess they were struggling to find good creatures for Red in this set.
Devils! I think this is the set that reintroduced devils into Magic (or maybe it was Ravnica) and gave them a new identity as Red colored troublemakers.
I think this is what the writers for the Onion end up looking like after they found out all their satires came true during the Trump years.
Man, someone was a fan of the Coppola Dracula movie. Granted, that was some pretty cool armor but still though.
Hey, it’s Nicholas Cage! NOT THE BEES!
Man, imagine getting mauled by a werewolf, and then they steal your wallet. That’s just adding insult to injury that is.
Also, the gimmick with Innistrad werewolves is they change as long as no one casts any spells, and casting spells makes them turn back. I imagine that gets rather confusing and frustrating after a while.
Just the crew heading out to get a pint or two (does a human have a pints worth of blood? I don’t do math good).
I think this is the Dark Universe reboot of Red Riding Hood. I approve.
Smoky the Bear says only you can prevent giant angry fire mammoths…you know what maybe you can’t prevent that. He seems pretty angry and big.
I think this is what the young people call “fuck around and find out.”
Seriously guys, you live in Innistrad! If I lived there I would lock myself in my house before the sun set. But no, these guys go hassling random strangers at night, during a full moon yet. You guys are idiots.
Sudden surprise pocket snake! *Tosses snake in face then runs away*.
Not sure what this guy is supposed to be. I mean, it’s not an Eldrazi, since there aren’t any Eldrazi on Innistrad…yet. *Ominous thunder*
“Do not bring your evil here”.
Wait, would Swamp Thing be a Black creature in Magic? I mean, he lives in a swamp, but he’s all about plant life…huh. Golgari maybe?
Hey, it’s Garruk, the Green planeswalker who got replaced with a much more interesting planeswalker in Nissa. I wonder what he’s up to?
Oh right. Lilliana shoved a demonic thing in his chest and cursed him. That happened. Now Garruk hunts the most dangerous game: other planeswalkers.
Some places get giant alligators in the sewers. Innistrad gets giant killer pond scum piles. This is why you don’t flush fertilizer people! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY IT?
I only have one thing that I am wishing for right now. And that’s for me to know and you all to find out.
The thing about the mayor here is that he isn’t a legendary creature, which seems to imply every mayor Avabruck ever has or ever will have is a werewolf (which is an observation I found on Tumblr, but dammit it’s some insightful stuff so I’m using it).
And we got another new mechanic, and this one would become a staple of Green going forward. Fight is just what it sounds like. Your creature attacks another creature, just like they were blocking. And since Green has a bumper crop of big creatures, they usually end up winning those exchanges.
Spidery Grasp
Spidery Grasp
Instant speed so you play it fast.
Gives you reach, but there’s more
Also gives you +2/+4.
Look out, my deck has four Spidery Grasps.
I’d say this is a pretty good blocker and last second life line, but this was right after New Phyrexia, so Infect was still a thing. And wow that must have been the creepiest two blocks ever to have this and Scars of Mirrodin out at the same time.
And you thought someone stealing your Netflix account was bad.
I like the flavor of this one: It does exactly what you expect a torch to do (ward off undead and also you can throw it to burn someone). It’s a neat card.
I mean, having a creepy doll is pretty much obligatory. Also, I love the flavor text, very two sentence horror story.
YEAAAAH! That’s what I’m talking about! I don’t drive, but if I did I would want to drive that thing. That is a ride that says “what is this ‘street legal’ you speak of?”.
Okay, I know this one. “Klaatu, Varada… Ni*Prfhrmr*”.
…What? That counted.
Hey, it’s a new scarecrow. Haven’t seen those since Shadowmoor. And extra points because this thing actually does what a Scarecrow is supposed to do; scare off birds.
And of course we need to have the proper monster hunting weapons. Beautiful, Peter Cushing would be proud.
And what would a horror setting be without a genuine haunted house?
And with that, our first look at Innistrad comes to a close, since we are well past the witching hour. But come back next week as we continue the monster hunt with Dark Ascension. But until then, Stay Magical.
