Magic: The Gathering
Magical Thinking: Lorwyn
Welcome back to Magical Thinking, a look back at the cards and art of Magic: the Gathering, set by set, from the beginning. All through the eyes of a casual fan. This week we begin a bold new era of Magic, the post-mending era, with October 2007’s Lorwyn, first set in the Lorwyn block.
Inspired by Celtic myth, Lorwyn is a idyllic world where the sun never sets and it’s always midsummer. It is home to hardworking kithkin, mischievous goblins, giants, racist elves, and more. But is everything as it seems on this idyllic plane? Or is something else on the horizon? Beware, the great aurora is coming…
But that will keep for later. For now we have cards!
And we start with a game changer.
Planeswalkers were a new card type originally intended for Future Sight, but because that set had so much new stuff already, the reveal was pushed back to Lorwyn. Planeswalker cards represent the new status quo of Planeswalkers; no longer where they omnipotent gods who could destroy entire planes, now they were just really powerful magic users who could plane shift. With Planeswalker cards it felt like you had a second player helping you; they’d show up, help out a bit, then eventually peace out when they did their big trick or took too much damage.
Let’s break down what we got here: Each Planeswalker has a loyalty counter at the bottom and series of abilities. Some of their abilities would increase loyalty counters, and some would decrease. Enemy players could also opt to attack the Planeswalker card with spells and creatures to reduce its loyalty counters. As you can see, most Planeswalker also have an ultimate ability which requires more loyalty than they usually start with; the example here being Ajani’s Avatar summoning.
Here we see Ajani Goldmane, for a long time the iconic White Planeswalker, and a future member of the Gatewatch. More on them later but a lot of Gatewatch members make their debut here.
Oh, right. We were talking about Lorwyn, weren’t we? Here is a kithkin, the White race of this set (Humans don’t exist in Lorwyn). Kithkin have been mentioned a few times before in other sets, but here is where they come to prominence. They are basically Magic’s answer to halflings or hobbits. And the kithin here have weird squished faces. I mean, between this and the 5e Halflings someone at Wizards has a weird time drawing the heads of short people.
Here we have another tribe of Lorwyn (Lorwyn loves them some tribes), the shapeshifters, and we get a demonstration of two new keywords. Changeling makes a creature every creature type. Champion has a creature “champion” a card in play, coming out to fight in their stead while they chill in exile. Of the two new mechanics, I would say changeling is the superior one, since it recently made a reappearance in the viking themed Kaldheim set, which also has its own race of shapeshifters.
Lorwyn also introduced the idea of the tribal mechanics, which would have spells that were associated with a certain species. The mechanic was eventually retired because it was too difficult for R&D to implement, but for now it’s alive and well as an ability. I presume you can use this card for anything that requires you to have a giant in your hand or deck for.
See, here’s an example: I assume you can reveal a kithkin tribal spell from your hand to cover the cost here. Also, once again enjoy the artwork of Pathfinder art legend Wayne Reynolds!
See, this would have made Lord of the Rings like 500% more better and 500% dumber. It would have been like Ator making a Hang-glider in Cave Dwellers. Yeah, just take the ring to Mordor via hot air balloon. I bet Sauron wouldn’t see that coming.
Okay. I was worried. I couldn’t see what she was holding in the smaller card art so I thought it was the One Ring, but it’s just fireflies, we’re good. Smegol did not die in vain.
Wow.
Okay okay, let’s review what White covers: Justice, honor, chivalry, leprosy, unfair taxation, suicide cults, goblin disemboweling, and now NECK SNAPPING. Like just go up and Jason Bourne a dude. It’s the White mana way!
Poppies, poppies will make them sleep. Sleeeeeep.
Oh and hey, a new mechanic. Clash has you compare your topmost card with your opponents, and if yours has a higher mana cost you win. Hearthstone would eventually come up with their own version of this called joust for their Grand Tournament expansion. Sadly both clash and joust were duds from a card design standpoint, with clash coming in at a 9 on the Storm Scale.
Because sometimes you just want to tell direct damage burn decks to go away. Also, I think we’re starting to see creatures become better, because a 6/6 flyer for 6 that does all this is pretty good.
I guess Merfolk are both Blue and White in this setting. Not much else to say, I’ve just been kind of neglecting to talk about the Merfolk in White thus far.
Yes, a favorite pass time on Lorwyn: the game of balance a giant eyeball on your head. I wonder if this is what Sauron did in college before he got all angry. Also, is it just me, or does this art have some strong “Scary stories to tell in the dark” energy to it? Like, the opposite in terms of subject matter but the art style kind of reminds me of it.
Wow, it’s like looking into a mirror. I’ve never seen a more perfect representation of what’s in my own soul. YES, I KNOW IT HASN’T SHAPESHIFTED YET. SHUT UP. LEAVE ME ALONE.
I think I see the problem with Clash. Cards like Clash kind of force you to make a deck with a lot of high mana stuff. And even if you do that there’s still a chance you just draw land and lose the clash anyway. And all for an effect which isn’t even that good. It’s not bad, but it’s not game breaking.
It looks like Lorwyn elementals follow the same rules as Kamigawa spirits: They can look like pretty much anything and are generally just kind of weird.
I know that looking back, faeries made the transition from Green to Blue way before Lorwyn, but it always feels to me that Lorwyn was where they were really established as a blue creature type. Probably because Lorwyn has such a strong tribal theme, which is on display here since you can use this Faerie to tutor for another faerie, potentially on your opponent’s turn.
Man, giants are just getting the worst of it this set. It seems like every single card depicts giants getting the business. They shouldn’t have to stand for that.
And here we have our second Planeswalker, Jace, AKA Magic’s very own reader avatar. No really. Apparently Magic designed him to resemble the average Magic players demographic, right down to being Blue (the most popular color they polled for). Sorry, Jace is fine and all but I already know what card represents me in this game.
….The heck is a Reejerey?
Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
I think so, but if we get rid of Bands, won’t it be really quiet while we play Magic?
And that was my attempt at a MTG-flavored Pinky and the Brain joke. Thank you, everyone.
What? Oh, they mean faerie rings. I’m sorry but in a setting like this any talk of rings is gonna make me kind of nervous. I’m kind of dreading the artifacts I’m not gonna lie.
I love how the guy there is only mildly curious about the guy copying his shape and fishing style. He’s just like “…huh. Weird.”
I’m always fascinated by cards that manipulate land. Maybe not cards that turn land into creatures, but certainly cards that change land types like this one. It always feels like turning a land into an island is the easiest thing to do because, well, it’s easy to make a thing an island; just surround it with water.
I’ve kind of been on a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle kick lately; re-watching old shows, reading the Archie and IDW comics. No idea why I’m bring it up now.
He speaks for the trees, and apparently the trees are telling you to feck off.
And here we have the goblins of Lorwyn, who are gross and weird and they are obsessed with new sensations, and I kind of love them. I mean look at that face, who could hate that face?
Yeah, I mentioned faeries have been Blue before Lorwyn, but I think this set is the debut of Black mana faeries. Here we have faeries who are cruel and nasty and steal dreams (and sometimes eyes).
Oh dear.
Yeah, I mentioned racist elves before. Lorwyn has racist elves, and I don’t just mean elves who are isolationist and haughty and treat other races like garbage like you see in a lot of settings. No no, I mean Lorwyn elves straight up one to murder anyone they consider ugly. Like straight up genocide. Heck, the novels follow Rhys, an elf who became an outcast because she suffered a facial injury and that was enough to turn the other elves against her. Lorwyn elves are assholes.
I don’t know what a “fodder” is in this context, but I hope I never have to find out because that art pretty much tells me all I need to know.
As it turns out hornets do not make honey. What they do make is pain for your opponents. And that is the best honey of all.
And here we have Planeswalker number three. Everyone’s favorite Necromancer queen, Liliana Vess. Now currently a teacher at Strixhaven school of Magic and… Oh wait sorry that was Professor Onyx. My mistake, I got confused because they were the same person.
I think this is the set that officially introduced deathtouch as a mechanic (it existed previously in one form or another). It’s basically what it says on the tin. Your creature touches something, that something dies. And it’s gone on to become an evergreen ability.
Also again, Lorwyn elves are racist scumbags.
I love the flavor here. It kind of represents this slow moving infestation that destroys everything in its path, land and creatures alike, one at a time.
Card flavor text written by and approved by racist scumbag elves.
You may notice I am shitting on the Elves a lot this set. Well, the fact of the matter is I hate the whole “Elves are elitist racist assholes” trope that pops up in fiction all the time. I mean, Elves are supposed to be chaotic good in most DnD settings, but they always get depicted as the upper class twit brigade, or as being genocidal pricks like here. And it kind of pisses me off, not gonna lie.
There is something inherently funny about pies. Pies are just a naturally comedic food, but they also have the potential to be horrific. I think this card strikes a good balance of the two.
And of course we start Red off with another goblin, and what a goblin it is. I’ll give them this, goblins never met a bad idea they didn’t immediately leap into trying.
See? All that picking on those giants and now they’re fed up. They’re gonna go fee fi fo fum on us now.
Two words you never want to hear together: Goblin and shenanigans. Honestly, Shenanigans are never good in any context, but with goblins it’s like 200% worse.
And we have our fourth planeswalker, Chandra Nalaar. Chandra has pretty much become the hero of Magic at this point, since I’m pretty sure she has more cards devoted to her than any other Planeswalker (as in actual Planeswalker cards). She’s pretty much the default Red Planeswalker and I don’t think anything is going to change that.
Yeah, whose an eyeblight now, you racist creep? You’re about to become a footblight.
I guess Lorwyn introduced the concept of flamekins, who are humanoid fire elementals. I know in later sets we would get cloudkin and leafkin, but I’m not sure if they are also from Lorwyn.
This is…an oddly specific card, isn’t it? I mean, I haven’t even seen any goats this set. It almost feels like this was printed as some kind of joke.
I love this. I always love depictions of giants which are comically larger than life, and have stuff like people or trees on their back and stuff. 10 out of 10! A great giant!
The flavor text pretty much confirms my theory about Lorwyn elementals being like Kamigawa spirits. Also, smashitude is my new favorite word.
Oh, and new mechanic! Evoke basically lets you play a creature as a spell. It’s cheaper, but no body attached. Evoke is a 5 on the Storm Scale, so it might show up again later (not sure if it ever has, though).
Oh I love this card. Not just because I love fling effects, but because I love that giant’s “no thoughts, head empty” face.
Think this was most Magic fans’ reactions when they announced the Walking Dead secret lair. Ha Ha, topical!
See? Giants know what’s up. Also, I always love to see ricochet style spells and effects, especially when you can spread that ricochet around like this.
Wands are kind of a weird choice for a melee weapon. I guess this treefolk wanted to branch out from different combat styles.
Ah, my favorite Lorwyn movie: The Kithkin who went up a hill, then ran down a horrible tentacled abomination. A romantic comedy for the ages.
I’m sorry, but seeing racists get put in their place is never not entertaining to me. I wish they would put this sort of thing in every set.
Lorwyn’s pumpkin game is on point. I mean, not only are they huge, but they come in different colors. Also, I’m pretty sure one of those pumpkins is actually a giant raspberry.
And behold our final Planeswalker for this set. Garruk is the only Planeswalker here who didn’t end up joining Gatewatch (I think Lilliana sticking a magic cursed thing in his chest may have contributed to this). I’ve consistently liked Garruk’s cards, but Garruk as a character doesn’t really interest me. I’m just not a fan of the big strong alpha male hunter types. Although there was that one time Garruk got in a fight with a vengeful gingerbread woman. But more on that later.
Have I mentioned that Lorwyn elves are the worst? Because they totally are. There’s no other way to say it.
Hey, leave the mice alone will ya?
Also, I love this card’s mechanics. Who gets the big bonus? Who gets the little one? Do you try and even up your creatures? Or just go HAM on your biggest creature and hope for the best.
More rampant giant abuse. They should unionize or something. Also, I love transformation spells. Eff you, you’re a tree now.
Yeah, how about you determine the value of my foot up your ass? Honestly I’m kind of loving this set. There’s nothing better than a good heel, someone you love to hate. And these Elves are doing it for me big time.
It is about that time of year, isn’t it? I should really get on top of my own spring cleaning myself. It’s just so hard to find time, especially with work being so crazy lately.
Didn’t I see this guy in a Miyazaki movie once?
Poor baby, it’s okay, you don’t need those asshole elves. I think you’re beautiful just the way you are, or in whatever form you take next.
Frodo Baggins after retirement.
Also, I love how the legendary kithkin’s power is to keep giant sized creatures and spells from being played. Gaddock Teeg is gonna keep things nice and friendly. No giant creatures or overpowered combo pieces on his watch.
Baby goblins are freaking adorable.
Hey, it’s Stonehenge, where the demons dwell, and the banshees live (and they do live well). Even though Lorwyn doesn’t have any banshees or demons. They do have little people, though. So are the little people kithkin or boggarts? You make the call.
GODDAMMIT I KNEW IT! I KNEW WE WERE GONNA GET RINGS. I WARNED YOU BUT NOBODY LISTENED. NOW WE’RE ALL REALLY HOSED. HOARD THE GUNS AND INSTANT MASHED POTATOES! THE MAYANS WARNED US THIS WOULD HAPPEN! AHHHHHHHH!
Okay, okay, I think I’m better. Sorry about that folks.
This week on Moonshiners, we visit the giants of Lorwyn to try their thousand year elixir. The chances of us surviving are very, very slim.
And of course the tribal theme has to continue to the land, here we have a cycle of lands which come into play tapped unless you have the appropriate tribal cards in hand. A neat concept I have to say.
And here we have the final new mechanic of this set: Hideaway, which lets you hide a card away in the land and play it later if certain conditions are met. I don’t think we saw much of hideaway after this.
And our last new land type are vivid lands, which can be tapped for a second mana type, but only twice. It’s okay I guess, but I feel like I’d rather have the tapped lands you can reliably tap for different colors.
Well, that does it for this week. But our vacation to sunny Lorwyn has just begun. I can’t see anything spoiling this beautiful plane (I mean yeah the racist elves are a pain, but just ignore them). Tune in next week as we continue our journey to Lorwyn with Morningtide. And until then, stay Magical.
