Let’s all be anxious together
Pandemic in the air, fear in our hearts, and uncertainty in our minds. How can teachers leave this perfect opportunity to hit us with exams?
Let’s face it, we are no Hermione Granger. An endless love affair with exams is something we will never have. Striving to be Ron Weasely? Now, that is more realistic. I think we can collectively agree that exams don’t test what we know, but our ability to vomit information that we only learned the night before. It’s quite impressive if you think about it.
Preparing for exams is no short of getting ready for battle. It takes willpower, energy, and 4 hours of crying in the bathroom to write one paper. However this time, it’s going to be slightly different. Sitting in the comfort of our homes, while everyone else worries about much bigger problems (you know, like COVID-19), we are stuck writing, typing about how Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
My condolences to all those who have online exams in these circumstances. We know it’s not fun. As an ode to this emotional roller coaster, here are a few common thoughts we have during exams:
The unfortunate moment of revelation
That drop in your stomach, when you realize what you studied the night before is not even on the question paper is universal. The inside of your stomach feels like a candy floss machine. Somehow, you gather enough common sense to reassure yourself that ‘All izz well’. All three of your brain cells now work collectively to string all the terms you’ve learned into an answer that doesn’t even make sense to you.
Sleep? What’s that?
You realize all the teachers are conspiring against you when your exams, assignments, surprise tests, the whole shebang are so conveniently aligned together. Sleep becomes a distant memory, a luxury when everything comes crashing down at once. The lines between reality and fantasy start blurring. Did we watch the inception or are we living it? What is your weird sleepless experience? Share it in the comments section!
To cheat or not to cheat, that is the question.
Exam fever has everyone questioning their morality. Especially when your exams are to be given by your computer…in your home…with no supervision…with your books right next to you. Anything can happen. These are wild times we’re living in.
My family and other animals
Studying for exams is hard enough on a normal day. But when you’re confined to your house, with no way out, it’s a different kind of hell. The concept of personal space, peace, and quiet cease to exist. You can now identify every family member by their footsteps. And did your family always have this much drama? Patience becomes your second name as you study through all the noise. Before you know it, you’re weighing the options between getting a degree or going to jail for murder.
I’m not jealous, you are!
The worst, absolute dismal part about having online exams is that your friends don’t. I don’t know who dropped the ball on equality, but they need to step it up. Now, not only do you have to study, but you also have to stay on top of all the social activities of your friends (we understand your FOMO). This is harder than it looks when you want to punch your friend in the face every two seconds for being able to get up at 3 pm every day.
The one more day theory
Did you ever have that feeling that an extra day would make you more exam ready? We live our life on “if only”. This is the way we procrastinators reassure ourselves that given more time, we could have done wonders. However, the fact of the matter is that if we had more time to study, we would just use it to binge-watch The Office.
If I flunk this, can I pass this course?
While studying, you reach a point when you consider if it is even worth it. Is it better to learn this diagram, or get some much-needed sleep? You find yourselves counting your grades to see if you will make it through the semester or not. This is a point of no return where nothing but sleep matters.
How much coffee is too much coffee?
This godly brew is sure to make you feel energized and keep you awake. But, keep an eye on your intake, you might find yourself be less like Flash and closer in comparison to Mr. Bean.
Clearly, exams are not fun for anyone involved, especially during this pandemic. We all have loved ones to worry about and our own mental health to look after. Sadly, the education system doesn’t seem to work on this logic and reasoning.
So, let’s put our brave faces on, pretend like we know what we’re doing, and butcher these exams so we can go back to looking at memes and sleeping at 4 am. As you all know, there’s no better feeling than hearing the exam bell ring at the end of your last paper.
Originally published at https://thewiseidiot.in on May 29, 2020.
