THEY — Chapter 16 — Hope
This is chapter 16 of my book “THEY”. If you are finding it for the first time, please begin with Chapter 1 (or check the INDEX )! When you’re done, check out more of my stories on my MEDIUM profile: Caralynn Scott — Medium
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CHAPTER 16 — Hope
Every day it was becoming harder for Jennic to pretend her world had not changed. Every day it was becoming clearer that everything was not OK.
Listening to every lecture with a sceptical ear, Jennic worried the professors would find out she did not agree with them. Her answers on her assignments were carefully written to present the arguments with the bias the white coats were expecting but were not written the way she honestly was feeling. She wrestled with all of them, refuting in her head the perspectives they promoted.
With respect to her social studies, it was accurate to say that truth could be elusive. In many cases a simple ideological shift could make a world of difference — and a different world.
Math and science courses brought some relief from the lectures about sexuality, society, and neutrality. Mathematics, after all, inherently truthful. With effort, one can prove every equation to be correct or incorrect — sometimes a little effort and, admittedly, sometimes with a great deal of effort — but there is no disputing when an answer is wrong because things literally do not add up.
During one of Jennic’s math classes, a teacher tried to imply mathematics was also a proof that everyone should be agender — that in mathematics there is no male or female, that everything should be neutral. “That is the way we should all be.” They pontificated, “We should be like numbers, free to interact with each other, but in the end, when we sum up the equation, both sides cancel each other out and become neutral. We too should be unconcerned about such useless things as gender and sexuality. One plus one is always two… never three.” This last bit of editorial content being a clearly covert reference to breeding and how a couple might potentially conceive a baby, a third person.
But as Jennic continued her studies and considered the opposing views, she realized that even in mathematics there are characteristics and nuances of gender. For example, in geometry some shapes can feel masculine; like the sharp corners of a 90-degree angle, or feminine; like the gentle curve of a sine wave. They could be transgender; like a round cornered square, or bi; like an arrowhead with a rounded back, or a heart shape. There is more than one shape of peg to fit in more than one kind of hole. There are more even than the proverbial round peg and square hole. There are, in fact, an infinite number of geometric shaped pegs with corresponding shaped holes. Jennic suspected there were similarly an infinite number of types of people as well.
As for the equation, one plus one equals two; If addition represents a union, two people joining together as a couple, what about multiplication? One multiplied by one is still only one.
Numbers themselves are only representative of a quantity or sometimes a quality, and math is a representation of their interactions, so if you combine two things of the same kind — the ones — should they not create another ‘one’? Sometimes, but if you add them, they make something new: the two.
Do the ones cease to exist when the two is created? Jennic wondered. Does it in fact become something new generated from the previous parent numbers? Or are they absorbed into the new entity?
Although math is typically unbiased and truthful, the interpretation of results is often driven by perspective and bias. When you remove the biases from an equation, you allow it to speak its own truth and you open your mind to infinite possibilities.
Math fascinated Jennic. Particularly calculus as she could directly apply it to the world around her and use it to interpret physics. Her fascination with the world of rocket science and the physics of everything from ballistics to astronomy and quantum mechanics drew her deeper into her studies of the universe. She often dreamed of getting off-world and away from the judgement of people on this one, to a place where she and others like her could finally ‘fit’ just the way they were.
Unfortunately, this line of thought led her back to thinking about the ‘Camps’ as she had heard them called, and their possible location.
Could they possibly be off world?
The solar system was populated thousands of years ago, and conceivably there may be a place where people like her could be sent that was hidden somewhere in the void. Still, there were problems with that theory. A lot of resources would be required to send someone into space, and those resources would be missed even for one person, never mind dozens, or hundreds. Admittedly, there remained a slim possibility. The camps themselves had remained hidden against the odds, why not the method of getting to them?
“Jennic?” A voice woke her from her contemplation. “Did you hear me?” Jennic looked up to see Dr. Bilang staring at her with concern.
“Oh, I’m sorry. You caught me daydreaming. What were you saying?”
“Your parents are here for a visit. They have something important to discuss with you and would very much like to see you. “
Jennic’s heart immediately jumped into her throat. Her parents were here. She had not expected another visit so soon. Actually, she had expected never to see them again. Had Fenlow been wrong? Was the facility really here to help and she would indeed be returned to her parents? No, that was impossible. She had not changed. Everything she had seen, everything she heard, everything she thought, had led her to believe Fenlow was right. Still, her parents were here, and Jennic was glad they had come.
As she stood, it briefly occurred to her that Dr. Bilang had come to retrieve her personally. Why had they not sent an Arti? It was not like staff to deliver messages in person. The anticipation of the visit quickly overwhelmed all of Jennic’s questions, however, as she was too eager to see her parents again to worry more about it.
Picking herself up from the study cube, Jennic followed Dr. Bilang down the hall to a different meeting room than the one they had convened in last time, her parents waiting patiently and expectantly inside. As she entered, it was her turn to be surprised by a compassionate hug. She was surprised and amazed her parents had adapted and accepted the gesture so quickly. Nonetheless he was thrilled to accept it. Lasting just a little longer than expected, the embrace comforted Jennic, but at the same time made her feel mildly awkward.
“How are you doing Jennic?” Praija asked, brows dipping with concern to form a ‘V’ in the middle of their forehead.
Dr. Bilang hovered at the door for a few moments, but when everyone had settled in, they quickly walked away, quietly closing the door behind them.
“I’m ok. My studies are continuing well enough, and my friends have helped me find my way. I am settling in.”
Navlin leaned forward, elbows on their knees, studying Jennic with the same deep intensity a biologist would have if studying a new species, “And how is the staff treating you?”
Jennic glanced at Navlin and tried to read the expression on their face. There was something more than caring about her welfare written in their countenance. “Well… I am well fed, there is a lot to do, and the lectures are… Interesting.”
Jennic wanted to say clearly that the lectures were more than academic in nature, but she could not be sure who was listening, and it seemed Navlin had their own agenda to pursue. Their initial questions were only precursors to the matter they really needed to address, and they needed to move forward quickly. “Jennic…” Navlin began, then abruptly stopped again, considering what they were about to say. After what was in reality only a few seconds, but felt like hours, they continued, “… We have heard things.”
Had someone discovered her secrets Jennic wondered? Had they told her parents she was not fitting in as well as she was trying to pretend? Worse, had they found out about Xania and had heard she would meet the same fate? Had they come to convince her to listen to the professors and seek correction? But how could they have possibly known about Xania? Nobody in the facility talked about things like that, and Jennic doubted anyone outside the facility would have even known. Xania had simply disappeared, without a trace. Nobody said anything — not that she had gone back to society, not that she had gone anywhere. It was as if she no longer existed.
Was her secret exposed? Had her parents come to put her back on track? The possibilities swirled within her mind and for a moment she found herself questioning again if she had trusted Fenlow too much and followed him into something that could potentially create trouble when the facility really had the best intentions toward her?
“Like what?” Jennic finally blurted out nervously.
Praija could not sit still. “We have heard rumours of things they do here in the facility. Horrible things. We were so worried about you Jennic. Are you sure you are OK? Is there any truth to these rumours?” Navlin looked back at their partner, a little irritated, but not surprised that Praija had gushed enigmatically and abruptly. They were, however, visibly relieved the issue was out in the open.
“What kinds of rumours have you heard and who has been telling you?” Jennic asked, still not wanting to share too much of what she thought she knew.
“At first, we received cryptic notes… Pieces of real paper inside packages of groceries, with messages on them. Some were simple, but worrisome, like ‘things are not what they seem.’ Others were clearer and more direct, like ‘Jennic is in trouble.’ Every one of them ended with, ‘Tell no-one!’ Then we started getting calls — voice calls, without a holo-image. The speaker sounded… troubled. Their messages were short. There was no conversation, just a quick statement and they were gone. What does it all mean Jennic?” Praija sobbed. “We are so worried.”
Navlin reached over to console Praija.
“Have you asked anyone else about this?” Jennic asked.
“No.” Navlin answered simply.
Jennic had considered for a long time whether she could trust her parents with her secrets. It appeared someone else had testing their trustworthiness as well. Jennic’s mind quickly absorbed the possibilities and arrived at one question she needed answered; were they aligned with the professors who believed “correction” was necessary? Or would they potentially risk everything to help her escape a difficult future?
Jennic knew they were good people, but there was no concrete way to be certain until she took the step of faith to trust them with her secret. If she was wrong, it could end very badly for all of them. Her parents had always had Jennic’s best interests in mind, and Jennic believed the story Praija had shared about the notes. She decided, for good or ill, she would have to trust them, though she still felt uncertain they would understand. “There is… Something.” Jennic began, testing the waters slowly.
“Yes?” Navlin prompted, leaning in.
“The Doctors… They want to … Change me. But I don’t think I want to change… I don’t think I can.”
Navlin looked at Praija sitting beside them, then back at Jennic. “We… understand Jennic. We have suspected as much. But are you safe?”
Even without words, Jennic could feel their support, their love. She was growing surer she was making the right choice by telling them. “I… I don’t know. Sometimes there are things that happen that I can’t explain.”
Abruptly, Praija blurted out, “Has anyone disappeared?”
Jennic was shocked. They did know about Xania. How they knew, Jennic could only guess, but they must know. Jennic did not utter another word, though her silence spoke volumes.
“They have, haven’t they.” Navlin said, quietly letting out a sigh as they slumped back into the sofa, “So, it is true.”
The trio sat silently for a few seconds before Navlin leaned forward again, slowly laying their hand on Praija’s shoulder, and speaking boldly to Jennic, “We want to help you Jennic. We love you, and you deserve to live your life as you wish to, not as something other people wish to make you.” The intensity in Navlin’s gaze returned, “Jennic, we believe you may be in real danger here. We cannot say more, but please, trust us. If we are understanding the situation correctly, we might not have much time…” Navlin always had the cooler head in demanding situations. Perhaps decades of working in politics, learning to measure responses and not loose their cool, had made them more attuned to reading the room. Praija, on the other hand, did not have the benefit of that experience. They were becoming so emotional now that it was difficult for them to speak at all.
“We may not see each other again — not for a long time at least — but things are in the works, Jennic,” Navlin continued, “You must trust there are those who can help, and you are not alone — not even here.”
Jennic was struck by how similar Navlin’s words were to Fenlow’s. She felt like she had to trust everyone, and that left her feeling rather helpless in her own right.
Abruptly, the door opened, and Dr. Bilang re-entered the room. “Time is up. I’m afraid the interview is over.”
Navlin immediately switched their demeanor, becoming resolute and emotionless. Praija, who was not so capable off turning off their emotions, did a reasonable job of keeping them at bay. “It was wonderful seeing you Jennic. Remember, we care for you very much.”
Both parents gave Jennic another long hug, only the second time they had ever done so in her entire life. Jennic was beginning to enjoy the physical contact and only wished it did not feel like this would be the last they shared. If it were, she was going to absorb every moment. Holding on, she memorized how each of them felt in her arms, how they smelt, and the sound of their voices. She never wanted to forget them, no matter what might happen.
