Interviews:
Debra Rose - Interview 1.
Hi. What is your name?
Debora Rose Quigley
Is that your maiden name?
No, my maiden name is Debra Phipps.
What do you know about your family name?
Phipps: horse lover. “Hip” is latin for horse.
In what language?
I guess Gaelic.
Have you ever been to Ireland?
Yes.
What did you think about it?
It was beautiful and “bonny”.
What do you know about the first person in your family to arrive in America?
I am not sure who the first person was. Not exactly. I know somebody jumped off the ship. She didn’t have the correct papers to get us to Ellis Island. That is how we ended up in New Jersey.
Are there any naming traditions in your family?
Lots of Saint names. Lots of Marys and Catherines. There are so many kids it is good that there are so many saints to name them after. I like Aloicious.
Who is that?
An old family name. My dad’s dad.
What are stereotypes for Irish people in America?
Catholic drunkards and tradesmen like my grandpa who ran groceries and was a plumber. Big families.
What kind of games did you play as a child?
Drop the spit on my sister.
Four square and a lot of baseball and kickball.
Dream date.
What is dream date?
An old game we would play. A board game where you get the handsome boy for the prom instead of the slob.
What kind of toys did you use as a child?
Board games. Dolls. I loved barbies.
Did your family ever celebrate holidays in any nontraditional ways?
Do you mean by getting drunk? If anything we were uber traditional.
What is your favorite Irish food?
I love potatoes. Anyway. Any day.
What are some family heirlooms that you possess?
The doll with my great grandmothers hair in it. Her hair was cut and put on a porcelain doll.
Oh My Gosh that is creepy…
I’m gonna leave it in my will for you.
Does your family collect anything?
I collect rosaries from all over. My favorite is my dad’s rosary.
Is there a moment in your life when religion became more interesting to you?
After I started Medical School.
What are your favorite things to document in your scrapbooks?
My children and our fun times together.
What is your favorite series?
Katie’s Wedding. I put my all into that.
Could you tell me how your parents met?
My dad was friends with my mother’s brother, Bob.
Were you closer to your mother or father during your childhood?
Sandy ,my sister, because we shared a bedroom.
You liked terrorizing her the most right?
We are very close in age. We shared a bedroom and I loved picking on her. She always came on my dates with me and wanted to hang out with my friends. It was so annoying.
What were your favorite ways to pick on her?
She was a scaredy cat and always had that light on, which she still has. I would hide it and make monster noises. I hated my youngest for getting her own room.
Did you know Catherine Delaney?
Yes.
How would you describe her?
She died when i was very young. I said something very mean to her that made her cry.
What did you say?
I asked her why she was so fat apparently. She had Kushings disease.
What is that?
Super diabetes. She lived before that got treated. I liked my other grandma more.
Why?
She ironed my diapers and I was her favorite. Not just wash and dry, but iron them. She didn’t drive till her mid-50s because my grandfather died.
You told me when you were young you spent a good amount of time with your grandparents. Were you your step-grandpas favorite?
We lived with them. Harry went to medical school and had to drop out to support his family during the depression. I think he liked that I was so much like him.
What was Harry like?
He smoked 4 packs a day until he married my grandmother. She told him he had to quit because her late husband died from lung cancer. He was tough but smart. He invented the medicine for migraines. He was a chemist. It is called cafergot.
Did he inspire you?
No
And how would you describe your grandmother Glendora Schnieder?
Personal and prIvate person, just like me. She was Bohemian Irish.
Do you think these women ever influenced you in your life? (Delaney or Glendora)
No.
Who was your hero growing up?
Wonder woman.
Why did you like her so much?
Because she was wonder woman.She was a chick who dominated in a man’s world.
How was life once you left home?
Very over the top, I was very young when I left. I was 17 years old. I graduated early.
Where did you go to school?
Kent State.
What did you study?
Art.
What kind of art?
Jewelry.
Why jewelery?
No idea.
What was your favorite class?
Jewellery introduction.
How would you have described yourself in your twenties?
I already had a baby. So hard working.
Why?
There was a whole lot that happened between 20 and 30. I had a kid, graduated, became a doctor.
Why did you want to become a doctor?
I wanted to help people which sums up the long story.
What have been your greatest obstacles in life?
Myself.
Did people ever tell you that you couldn’t be a doctor and a mother?
Oh yeah.
And what was your response?
You can’t be a doctor and a father.
Do you remember Dotty Brinsfield?
Of course.
What could you tell me about her?
She was a very short pediatric cardiologist with a terrible smoking habit who was the first woman who took an interest in me. She told me I could never do anything, but would always would help me anyways.
Do you know why she was interested in you?
No.
Why did you choose family practice and delivering babies?
Because I knew there was a need in rural areas for people who could do a number of things. When I was a nurse, women dropped in, from north Georgia, with no prenatal care because they had no access.
What are episiotomies?
A cut in your perineum to help a baby come out faster.
Do you think that they were used to liberally when you were in your residency?
Yes. Especially as a young nurse.
What is the risk in doing that?
It tears through your rectum.
How many have you performed?
Maybe 50 out of a couple thousand.
Have you had less 4th degree tears?
Yes
How did you meet Dad?
I met him in medical school during orientation. He won’t remember that.
How are you two different?
John is very grandiose and imaginative and i’m more practical.
How are you the same?
Obsessive compulsive, and we both have grown together in the same direction, But can still tolerate our differences.
What is your favorite thing about him?
He is a good dad.
What is your favorite thing about being a doctor?
Listening to people’s stories.I hear lots of them.
What is your favorite?
I don’t think I have one.
What is your favorite memory as a doctor?
Fathers being so excited when their babies are born that they jump up and down. One wanted skin to skin contact with their baby so much he got in his underwear immediately to hold it.
What was your least favorite thing about being a doctor?
Paperwork. And answering questions about why I like being a doctor.
Did you feel more pressure to prove yourself as a female doctor?
I don’t know. I don’t think so, because I always had the upperhand of being a nurse.
So it never made you nervous?
No it is just I quickly realized you can’t do the things women normally do. Like crying, being emotional and dramatic. I don’t like that any ways.
You ever cried in front of a professor?
Hell no.
Have you ever been treated differently in the medical world because of your gender?
Oh yeah.
How so?
Expectations for me were lower.
Do you have any example?
It was so long ago, I don’t really remember.
Would you call yourself a feminist?
Nope.
Why not?
Because I believe in true equality.
So you are a feminist?
No feminists believe that they deserve more than men.
No they don’t.
Yes they do.
Ok well I will just write what you said.
What do you want the most for your daughters as they grow into the real world?
To be happy with who they are.
John Quigley (my dad). Interview 2-
What was your first experience with mom?
Um..We met at orientation at Emory Medical School. The first time I took notice of her, though, was in cadaver lab. Her cadaver table was next to mine. There were four to six to a table. Her partner was a bonehead who eventually got kicked out of Medical School. I remember her complaining about him.
How would you have described her?
She was just like she is now, funny and pretty. And uh..Chatty.
How long was it till you guys started dating?
Three years.
So you were friends for a long time?
We were always paired together because of our last names. During rotations we were paired together for long amounts of time. Who know, Dotty Brinsfield was probably match-making us.
What was she like as a friend?
She was nosey. (Smiling)And Funny. You know like, I would be in the call room bathroom. And she would come up to the door while I was peeing and she would laugh and say she could hear me.
What did you like about her?
I just thought she was funny. She had a magnetic personality. She was fun to be around.
How did you two get together?
I just looked at her and I said, “Let’s go out.” She stood me up. She thought it was a friend thing. I was mad at her for three months, and she didn’t even notice. Our friend Carol said, “I think he dost protesteth too much.”
Why did it take you two so long to get together?
She was involved with a fiance and I was focused on my career. I had no idea what I wanted to do.
Why, if you were in medical school?
Oh. Well, I still had an identity as a methodist minister. I was still trying to resolve that.
Do you know why she chose to work primarily in delivering babies?
She was a granola queen.
What does that mean?
So back in the day. Well she…The contemporary term is that she was very progressive. We both voted for Dukakis.
Back to the other question. Why did she choose that specialty?
There are lots of reasons. One was that she had a ton of experiences as a nurse. She had the opinion that there wasn’t a whole lot of medical procedures that were natural. So I will give you an example. We had a professor named Dr. Kline. Debora wanted child-birth as a natural phenomenon rather than a medical procedure. Dr. Kline said episiotomies were an unnecessary medical procedure that caused a lot of damage to women.
Is that still a controversy?
I think a lot of O.B.G.Y.Ns do them because they make them faster. Which can’t be true, because you have to repair the thing.
So your mother was a champion for doing something that was not popular with the O.B.G.Y.N faculty. They were old fashioned. Which at times isn’t bad. In this case it was.
What was she like as a mother during medical school?
She was good.
and after becoming a doctor?
Conscientious but torn.
Torn in what way?
Well she felt like she needed to spend time with her kids, but a career in medicine pulls you from that. There is only so much you can do.
Did you ever feel that pull?
Yes. I did. And I do. The demands of the career I have are extremely powerful and often life or death.
Would you say mom is a resilient woman?
OH GOD YES.
Why?
She, you know…She is used to doing hard things. As we get older we are not quite as resilient as we used to be.
How would you want your daughters to be like Debora?
Humorous and fun-loving.
Aunt Glenda (my mother’s little sister). Interview 3-
How are you related to Debora Quigley?
I am her sister.
How much older is she than you?
7 years.
What is your first memory with her?
Hmmm. I think my first memory of her — visual memory? I went into her room. I remember her glasses. That was very distinct to me. She was a very beautiful women when I was still a kid. I never felt like we were both women like that till I was in my thirties.
Was there anything she did when you were older that made a significant impact on you?
Oh yes. Huge. A bunch of things. The two that come to mind the most…
One when I was thirteen and she just had a baby. I could come to her house when my family ws having marital issues. I could always come live with her.
Another thing that seemed small…I just moved to New York City and I needed to learn how to type so I could get a job. I couldn’t pay for classes. So, she payed 200 dollars for the class. It seemed small, but it made a huge impact. Your mother is a very task-based person. Not affection.
What was she like once she got into her 20's?
In her twenties she already had a small child. For her, she was balancing her marriage, being a single mother, working at night, dropping Shannon off, and figuring out how to work and go to school. And she had a kid. She only had moments of free easy twenties, but she was a mother. That was difficult for her. When she became a nurse, that was a very pragmatic decision.
What did you think about her wanting to be a doctor?
Wanting to become a doctor? I don’t remember having that thought.
She was always extremely smart. i thought it would be hard because of her situation. I could tell she liked it as a nurse. I don’t know how she would balance the life part. Of course she could do it, but how.
And how did she?
She balanced, maybe not very well. She had room-mates that helped with her baby. She was always so engaged in Shannon’s girl scouts. Shannon had to live with another family for a while because she had to work nights. It was difficult. I can only imagine how hard that was. That makes it sound like she wasn’t around but she was. She was always with Shannon when there wasn’t work. It wasn’t normal hours,but she still helped her with homework and all that stuff.
How has she changed since then?
She has changed in her life, but not much since she was a doctor. Your mother has changed a lot politically, religiously just like anyone else. She got more and more comfortable with what she cared most about, you know? She likes a small environment. she is less social. she likes one on one intense moments. Your mom wants to keep it smaller.
Do you know why religion became important?
No. She was always searching. She was very interested in the Baha’i movement after her first marriage. and then your dad was sooo religious as an ex-minister, which might have just moved it along. She was researching all religions. I don’t know why Catholic.
Why is Mary important?
She is always in a search for a belief system between communism to Baha’i to Catholic. She likes structure.
Do you see any likeness between her and her daughters?
Sure. Ummmm. Absolutely. All three of you. Her and Shannon are both very similar and have a strong personality. They both want to win all the time. They are persistent to their detriment, but it can be a good thing. It is hard to get anywhere with them.
Katie and your mom both live to very high standards to perfection. Katie is high achieving with school academics and her life plan.
You are more of what she doesn’t engage in like she use to. She is very open to other thoughts. She will let other people live their lives and won’t condemn them. She is a libertarian. She will always be open to other cultures.
She is harsher with you guys than she was with Shannon. Shannon was just like Debbie as a child. She would always do what she wanted to do. You never called bullshit. Your mom doesn’t like dissent and questions.
