The Things Nobody Tells You About Depression
From someone who is living with it right now.
Disclaimer: Depression is one of those things that manifests differently for everyone, so a lot of what I am going to describe may not apply to you in particular. I am not a mental health expert, I just have a lot of lived experience. As such, please take everything here with a pillar of salt. Content warning: talk of suicide. Please call 988 if you’re experiencing a mental health crisis.
I haven’t really been myself the past month or two. A lot of the things that I’ve been doing have just felt like “going through the motions,” so to speak. Work, home life, socializing, hobbies — things that normally make me feel good about life just…don’t anymore.
It has gotten so bad that my wife had to sit down with me and have a major check-in to make sure things were okay between us. They are — I love her a lot and my feelings toward her are unchanged in that way. I’ve just felt really dull about things lately. Like, everything, including our relationship. It’s not that I love her less or want to change things up, but I just haven’t been mentally and emotionally present with her much lately.
This, I realized, means one thing: I’m in the throes of a depressive spiral.
