Top 5 regrets about leaving my country
Moving abroad is an exhilarating process. So much so that in the build-up to the move, we forget or pay less attention to our own indigenous things and culture. At least, this has been my experience and now sitting roughly 8,000 km away from my childhood home, I can only wish I had this ‘newfound’ wisdom sooner.
So here goes my list of top 5 regrets of leaving my country!
1. Not being able to read or write in my mother tongue
I was born a Bengali outside of Bengal and grew up speaking a mix of Bengali, Hindi, and English. Clearly, acquiring the latter two took priority over the first while I was growing up, and voilà! Fast forward 30 years, I can only speak my mother tongue, in a rudimentary way, and can’t read and write.
Today, living in a new country that speaks a new language, I realize how underrated my mother tongue, Bengali, is. Its rich history, its melodic style of being spoken, its convoluted syntax, its curved alphabets that are even better than Japanese calligraphy, and of course its towering literary geniuses like Tagore and Ray are surely worthy of more global attention.
Recently, I heard someone use the word “চওলও চিট্রও ” (cholo chitro meaning moving images) Bengali for films, and my lovely mother tongue had me in awe once more.
2. Not exploring my country enough
Since moving abroad, I have been so eager to explore new places and discover other people’s cultures, lives, and so on. It’s almost as if you’re seeing the world through the eyes of a toddler. This curiosity about things and places is something I had lost along the way in my own country.
There could be a variety of reasons for this, like social norms, safety, accessibility, etc., but I also lament my own lack of seeking spirit to discover my country and its magnificent corners.
As we all know the age-old saying “Better late than never”. Consequently, my travel bucket list is already overflowing for my next trip back home!
3. Not knowing how to put on my traditional wear
This may make you think of me as a complete moron, but I’m talking about Indian sarees! And the 101 ways to drape the 7 yards! For someone who has seen her mom wear a saree to work every single day, this is not something I am proud of.
Clearly, westernization is the main culprit of this incompetence, as we prefer Western attire more and more to the disadvantage of ethnic wear. Nonetheless, my own lack of initiative in perfecting this skill gives me terrible pangs of conscience.
No points for guessing! Learning to rein in the saree is an absolute to-do on my next trip home. Also, it gives me the perfect excuse to raid mom’s closet! 😉
4. Not learning enough from my grandma
Except for the truly enlightened ones, most of us take our family, particularly our grandparents, for granted. Growing up, I saw my grandmothers knit, stitch, crochet, and of course cook sweetmeats and traditional dishes following their authentic village recipes. And while I never lost out on enjoying the results of their labor, I never cared about learning the skills from them.
Today, when we live in different worlds, I can only remorsefully wish that I had simply asked my grandma for the recipe of her irresistibly exquisite dim’er jhol (egg curry) before devouring it all.
Certain things can only be done at a certain time. And when that time has gone, all you can do is reminisce what has been lost!
5. Not journaling at all
This one isn’t really about moving abroad, but more about growing up in general. While the benefits of journaling are well-known, my reasons for considering journaling as an important exercise are slightly different.
As we grow older, our orientations shift, our perspectives evolve, and our mindset expands. And while that is a fantastic journey in and of itself, our minds begin to cloud recollections of our 5-year-old or 10-year-old selves. You realize you no longer remember what color t-shirt you were wearing or why you were so upset with your mom that summer day!! Even worse, your mind may generate new hypotheses to explain your distant memories.
Here too, the past cannot be undone. So, I diligently journal my present now to have a treasure trove of content to write my autobiography another 30 years from now😆
So, if you are intending to cross the seas in the future, I hope you will not make my mistakes and learn as much as you can about your own cultures and customs to share with the rest of the world before embarking on your journey.
The author writes about daily life, personal growth, and self-help. She has no certificate in either of the subjects. Follow her on her journey of self-discovery and share your thoughts in the comments below!
