My high school counselor told me to lower my standards when it came to college — I have an MBA now
My junior year was coming to a close. It seemed as if I had been prepping for this moment my entire life. It was time to talk to my counselor about college applications. I remember being so excited about the potential in the next phase in my life. I had taken Advanced Placement (AP) classes since my freshman year, had a laundry list of extra-curricular activities, and decent SAT and ACT scores. What else could I possibly need?
When my counselor reviewed the class rankings, I was 13th out of 78 in my class. The advanced courses, which carried a weight of 1.5 credits, hadn’t been factored in yet. At that point, I had decided to apply to only two schools: The University of Texas and UT San Antonio (UTSA). My counselor informed me that everyone also had to apply to the local university as a backup option. This isn’t unusual advice. Most counselors guide their students to apply to a safety school.
The next part of the conversation, would most definitely change my path forever. He proceeded to tell me that I should only apply to the local university, and not bother applying to UT or UTSA. He said I should only consider the local university. The rationale he offered was that because I had attended a small school, I would not succeed in a school with larger class sizes.
My hearing went out. I had sucked in air and realized I wasn’t breathing anymore. It am not a shy person by any means, and so I countered with the list of accomplishments I had racked up during my academic career.
- AP classes
- Band Nerd making State Band 3 years straight
- A&B student
- Girls State
- Drama Club
- Yearbook Staff
- Church Youth Group Coordinator
- Peer Assistance in Leadership Mentor
If after putting in all those extra hours and effort, I still ‘wasn’t prepared’ for college? Where had I gone wrong? I do not remember him offering any explanations other than coercing me to apply locally. I sat there with a gnawing feeling in my stomach and didn’t say anything else. I was ready to leave his office.
As the summer started, I prepped the three applications. It was a big summer. That was the summer my dad came back from jail. I was 13 when he left and was only two months away from my 17th birthday.
When it came down to it, I decided not to apply to UT. It meant an extra application fee. My mom had been an amazing provider, but I was conscious of expenses then as we were down to solely her income. My other rationale was that there was no guarantee I would be in the top 10% of my class, which meant no guarantee of acceptance. It felt wrong and irresponsible to ask my mom for the money for an application fee which wasn’t a guarantee. I applied only to the local school and UTSA. When I received my acceptance letter to UTSA, there was no doubt in my mind where I was going in the fall. I was determined to see the world beyond our tiny, West-Texas border town.
I’ve often wondered why he gave me such guidance. It is true that certain things are set against you when you’re part of a minority group, but the worst damage often comes from discrimination from your own community. Sometimes I excuse it by saying he truly didn’t know any better. Other days, paranoia kicks in, and I think maybe there was a real discrimination factor at play because I am a dark-skinned Hispanic or because certain members of my family had a long history of legal problems. In my town, however, I’m not really a unique story. Many people on the border are touched by legal issues. I didn’t view myself as other or different.
The thought that does haunt me though is: What if I were a different person? What would’ve happened if I didn’t have the grit to dig in and go after my goals? I think about those people who are shy or didn’t have as much family support as I did. Amazingly, mom went back to college and finished her Accounting degree graduating Summa Cum Laude while my dad was in jail, giving me a good blueprint to follow. An indicator of where my grit may come from. 😃 Thanks mom!
What if I had been a transfer student from Mexico? I’ve seen what courage it takes to speak up when you don’t understand something due to a language barrier. Many of the Mexican transfer students stayed with friends or relatives to attend the local school and didn’t have a consistent support structure. I can only imagine the resiliency of spirit it would have taken for my friends to even envision themselves building a life that was vastly different from the ones they may have lived growing up, only to have a person in a position of power dash their hopes based on his own biases and perceptions.
As our family learned to live with dad again, I prepared for my adventure. Once the AP credits were counted, I was actually 4th in my high school class. UTSA ended up being a perfect fit for me. I flourished in San Antonio and made friends who have now become family. Four years later, I graduated from UTSA with honors and eventually went on to earn my MBA from Northeastern University. UTSA was bliss, though; I had been a resident assistant at the dorms, led the campus-wide homecoming committee, studied abroad, and even adjusted to the large class sizes.
An aside from the author…@talkjak
Hi, thank you for taking the time to read my story. As I revisited this experience I thought about how I might make a difference for someone in a similar situation. Here is my offer: If you are a college-bound student that is struggling financially and need help with college expenses I will help cover the cost of one of your college application fees.
For everyone that completes the steps below, I will enter them into a random drawing, to be conducted live online on November 17th. 5 winners will be randomly drawn and I will cover the cost of one application fee for each of those 5 students.
To enter, I ask that you:
- Add me on twitter @talkjak
- Share a link to this article and tag me in your post
Note that if your name is drawn, we will follow up to verify financial need and provide payment to university directly.
