Two Monsters, Only One Heart
Between Them: a Conversation between
Hitler and Chewbacca
CHEWBACCA: AAHHHHHRGGHHHH!
HITLER: I agree Chewbacca! Aggression is the only means to ultimate victory. Truth does not matter, only victory. And there is no means too immoral to achieve it.
CHEWBACCA: Aarrgh. Yarrrghharrrghhh?
HITLER: THE VICTOR WILL NEVER BE ASKED IF HE TOLD THE TRUTH!
CHEWBACCA: Arghhhh. Aarrrrghghhh. Grarghghh.
HITLER: We must lie, steal, and cheat to achieve true victory. Did you not lie, steal, and cheat in your time as a smuggler alongside the famed German, Hans Solo?
CHEWBACCA: ARRGHH!!!! Arghgarrrgar!!! GRARHHRGGHARRRR!!!
HITLER: Bah, I don’t care how you spell his name! Don’t spit your useless sentiment at me! Of course you would say that your misdeeds were washed up in the good you did with the resistance. There is no strength in resistance, there is only weakness.
CHEWBACCA: Arghhh!
HITLER: If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.The fact that you don’t understand this is appalling to me. Be careful not to choke on your exasperations, Chewbacca.
CHEWBACCA: ARGHGAR?
HITLER: Like that time you tried to repair C3P0, we all are terrible at something. Most people like you are dirty. Some people are born with better blood in them, like the Sith or the First Order or Kim Jong-Il.
CHEWBACCA: Arghhhh. Gararrrrghghhh. Grrraarghghh.
HITLER: Chewie, Chewie. Please do not tell me that you believe in the resistance! I find your lack of racism… disturbing.
CHEWBACCA: Arrghhhh. ARRRRRGGGH! AAARGH!
HITLER: I admire the First Order. They have the right idea. They know that some are born to lead. And most are born to be led.
CHEWBACCA: Arghhh!
HITLER: You are a sentimental fool! You will die with the rest of them! You are Jewbaccaaaaa!!!!!
CHEWBACCA: ARGGGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!
HITLER: AHHHHHH! MEIN ARM! YOU RIPPED OFF MEIN ARM!
