The Scandal of the Vegan Sausage Roll

In September, after nine years living at home in the UK I made the jump to America. It’s a big change and I’m still getting used to it. Probably the one of the thing that impacts me more than anything else (after cider) is food! Sure, American has great pizza and edible tacos but the lack of chip shops is disappointing and what is with that chocolate??

One of the UK’s great joys is our plethora of baked savory goods, pork pies, steak pies, a festive bake for Christmas and yes the quintessential sausage roll. We even have a nationwide chain, Greggs, which is at least as common as Starbucks and is a guilty pleasure for most Brits.

So you’ll understand that, with nothing else of interest going on over there right now, British society was rocked by the news on Wednesday that Greggs were bring out a VEGAN SAUSAGE ROLL. The shockwaves through British society where palpable even from DC.

Greggs chose to announce this via Tweet with the fatal words “The Wait is over”. The outrage that followed was out of any sensible proportion. If you’re like me, you’ll doubt that anyone was waiting for this but you won’t really care that much unless you don’t eat meat, in which case congratulations, there’s now a cheap, greasy, mildly warm savory baked good for you.

My early favorites include “An insult to sausages” and the suggestion that “Vegans are like ISIS”. Apparently a fast food chain that sells meat products and cakes cottoning on to the idea that selling a vegetarian lunch option might be an idea, is clearly a sign that “Vegans and feminists are destroying the planet”. Personally I’m intrigued by this connection between feminism and sausage rolls.

Even Piers Morgan weighed in with “Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns”. Just a reminder, this is about a VEGAN SAUSAGE ROLL.

So what’s driving this? Sure you might not want it I certainly would trade a proper pork sausage roll for one of these. I can’t quite stretch to being offended by their presence though.

It seems like everyone is angrier nowadays, and I think very often it gets directed at arbitrary things. Almost anything can be the target of anger or outrage just by virtue of being visible.

Regular outrages seem to be an ordinary part of life nowadays, and it’s moved well beyond politics. When we’re so divided that a culture war can break out over a vegan sausage, it may be time for all of us to step back, chill out, live and let live.