“Tell Me Your Story” is a Relationship Development Opportunity

Our narratives define us…

We meet people all the time. Have you ever thought about what makes some people more interesting than others? What stands out from meeting that particular prospect, partner, or potential employee? Was it their strong ability to express themselves, something about their appearance, or an aspect of their professional pedigree? Was it just because you had a great cup of coffee that morning (an absolute must!)? Or did the person come highly recommended from a trusted source? Any of these attributes can pique our interest when meeting someone for the first time, but none by itself is likely to move your to nurture a deeper relationship with them.

I’m in Dubai, UAE — a fascinating place that has seen explosive growth in the past decade. What’s particularly interesting is you seldom meet a local. Everyone is an expat and the more people I meet here, the more I’m convinced that the elusive quality that causes us to prioritize any particular relationship, hinges on our individual stories! You see, because of our race, religion, origins, genealogy — in essence, our nature and nurture, I believe we live our lives through narrative. Our narratives define us by illustrating where we’ve been, what we’ve done, and how we’ve arrived at this moment in time.

If our narratives are interesting, engaging, and well told — with passion, conviction and a unique point of view — we become an object of interest to our prospective relationships. They want to spend more time with us, get to know us better, and work with us in some capacity. In essence, they want to experience the unfolding narrative journey with us.

Conversely, if narratives are dull, pointless, and fail to evoke an emotional connection by the other side, those relationships are quickly passed and easily forgotten. Don’t misconstrue my comments: I’m not advocating that you become Indiana Jones or the Black Widow in the Avenger series overnight! What I do want you to think about is a simple question: What’s YOUR Story? How are you learning, growing, and constantly aiming to become an object of interest?

Here are a few tips:

1. Get a passport and aim for a new stamp or two every year! Travel broadens our horizons!
2. Stop spending every weekend at home. Get a map, fill the car up with gas and get on the road; it’s an amazing country full of stories when you get out there.
3. Find a passion. Hobbies fill our time; passions make it worth living. What will fuel you, drive you, or excite you to try new ideas? Build something. Learn something. Go somewhere and do something you wouldn’t have tried last year!
4. Put yourself in a position to meet interesting people. Go to SxSW, TED, or a FastCompany event this next year. Attend a luncheon at your nearby tech incubator. Get invited to the Renaissance Weekend.
5. Invest in relationships you find interesting. Reach out to people, invite them to unique events they may not attend otherwise, introduce them to relationships they may not otherwise get a chance to meet.

Most people who know me have figured out I’ve been deepening a passion for motorcycles over the last few years. In late 2013 I took it to a new level by attending a class in motorcycle maintenance offered by Honda for professional technicians. I spent a week at the intersection of engineering, physics, and technical skill that is too often undervalued these days. (I blogged about it here.) I may not have left the U.S. but I sure entered a different country when I walked into that machine shop. I heard stories; I tried new things that fueled my passion: I met interesting people I would never have gotten to know otherwise (I plan to be a lot nicer to the technicians at my motorcycle dealer’s from now on!) In short, I invested in my own story.

Here is to a more interesting narrative for all of us!

Nour Takeaways

1. What makes you an object of interest is most likely to be your individual story — where you’ve been, what you’ve done, what you’re passionate about today.
2. To make your story more compelling, BE more compelling! Prioritize your own learning and growth.
3. To make others want to experience your unfolding narrative journey with you, tell your story in a way that evokes an emotional connection.

David Nour is an enterprise growth strategist and the thought leader on Relationship Economics® — the quantifiable value of business relationships. Nour has pioneered the phenomenon that relationships are the greatest off balance sheet asset any organizations possesses, large and small, public and private. He is the author of several books including the best selling Relationship Economics — Revised (Wiley), ConnectAbility (McGraw-Hill), The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Raising Capital (Praeger) and Return on Impact — Leadership Strategies for the age of Connected Relationships (ASAE). Learn more at www.NourGroup.com.