Kindness as a Contentedness

Can we be kind? Can our mutual woundedness unite us? Can we let the germs of the world and acknowledge our shared vulnerability?

To start off by asking can we be kind? Well yes of course we can, I think it’s just a matter of whether or not the individual intends it as kindness or someone else is just perceiving it that way.

“That as a species apparently unlike other species of animal- we are deeply and fundamentally antagonistic to each other, that our motives are utterly self seeking, and that our sympathies are form of self protection” (4). The authors point out something very interesting here: ‘unlike other species of animal’. By saying this I think they are correct because animals seem to be natural kind and caring of one another, (at least with in species) while humans seem to be more self seeking. Does this not suggest then that as discussed later in the book that unkindess is somehthing learned?

So if being unkind is something that is learned, when do we learn this, or when as a society did we learn this?

One answer may be found in the change from a state based on religion to one based on individualism, “For most of the Western history the dominant tradition of kindness has been Christianity, which sacraltilzes peoples generous instincts and makes them the basis of a universal faith” (7). So once we moved away from the idea of a universal faith based on the concept of kindness, could it also be that in order to become an individual apart from this ‘universal concept’ one must also leave kindness. The other idea discussed in the book is that we are taught to be unkind when we are children as children have a natural instinct to care and be kind to others. “This magical kindness fails, and its failure is the child’s first trauma, one that he never entirely recover from” (109). From this trauma though as the author states the child understands and learns a new kindof kindness, which leads me to my next point:

Can our mutual woundedness unite us?

I believe from these traumas we experience as children, young adults and even adults we can be united by these wounds. These wounds are what individuals together, it is a way to understand (empathy) another’s suffering. The problem with this is the idea that in order to understand such suffering we must all feel and be connected to each other in some way and as discussed in the book, “dependence is scorned even in intimate relationships, as though dependence were incompatible with self-reliance rather then the only thing that makes it possible” (96). And so until we can learn to be dependent on each other and not see it as a weakness but a strength I feel it will be hard for us to be united.

Looking at my community partner (NGS) I do see vulnerability but I also see it as a sign of straighten. The kids at NGS do not have to be there and neither do the volunteers but the kids want to achieve in a society that expects and seems to want otherwise of them and all of the volunteers want nothing more to see them succeed. I see vulnerability because these children are stepping out into something many people make them believe they can not achieve and to me that takes courage.