Little Faces.
“What is it about our times that makes kindness seem so dangerous?” (5). This is one of the many questions that the authors begins by asking. What most people might say the answer to this question is that kindness is so dangerous because it shows our vulnerability, it requires us to picture ourselves into the position of others, which can be uncomfortable for some. It is for this very reason that vulnerability plays a large role in my service-learning experience. When I work one-on-one with each student, I put myself into the students’ position and try as best as I can to make sure they feel as if I am on their level. I also have to show vulnerability in the times where I may get frustrated if a student does not quickly or gradually understand a concept. Rather than being upset, I kind of have to take a step back and think of all the possible experiences or hardships that the student and his or her family must be going through that can be hindering their academic performance or their ability to focus.
Another question that the authors ask is, “Why do the pleasures of kindness astonish us?” (4). In other words, is it really that surprising that doing something good for others makes us feel good too? The answer to this question is because as humans, we tend to believe that, “Living according to our sympathies, we imagine, will weaken or overwhelm us,” (5) when if fact the opposite is true. Rather than being taken as a sign of weakness, it should be seen as a sign of strength that can essentially give a feeling of relief instead of actually overwhelming us.
As we grow older, it seems as if adults are governed by the idea that, “Only small children, the sick, and the very elderly are permitted dependence on others” (96). Or it is often said that, “children begin their lives “naturally” kind, and that something happens to this kindness as they grow up in contemporary society” (11). Where do these ideas come from? Why do we tend to think this way? It’s almost as if independence is seen as a symbol of strength. This correlation, I have noticed, is a popular idea among many immigrant families. I have also noticed it is very strong among some of the students I have had the opportunity to work with, particularly for the boys. This honestly doesn’t surprise me, as the idea of being an independent, the idea of “machismo” is very popular among Latin American countries. I have noticed that many of the girls I have helped are a bit shy, but they more readily open up and don’t necessarily ask for help. There have been two boys in particular that I was paired to work with and in many cases, whenever I asked if they understood the homework or if they needed help, they were quick to decline. It’s almost as if I can see their kindness slowly fading away as they are exposed to movies, TV shows, and music — all produced by adults — that somehow teach them that being kind gives them an appearance of weakness.
In the reading, the authors define the latin word caritas, which means, “neighborly or brotherly love.” Interestingly enough, this same word in Spanish means, “little faces.” When I was in eighth grade, I went on a week long trip to a CYO camp called “Caritas Creek.” The philosophy of the organization was that its purpose was to help young people “discover the connection between all living things.” What I remember the camp director saying is that the reason it was called “Caritas Creek” is because God loves every single one of our little faces unconditionally no matter what we look like, no matter where we come from, and no matter what possessions we have. Another important idea that was emphasized was very similar to the one said by philosopher Alan Ryan as mentioned in the reading which says, “We mutually belong to one another” (6). These were some of the things that I was taught in that camp that have resonated with me as I read this article. Though I must admit I was still a bit confused as to why the camp was called “Caritas Creek,” but knowing the latin meaning of the word has definitely made it clear.
One of the quotes that resonated with me the most in this reading was the one that said, “We are never as kind as we want to be, but nothing outrages us more than people being unkind to us” (10). This stood out to me because I can’t help but admit that I am many times at fault of this. It has honestly helped me sit back and think before the next time I work individually with one student. It has taught me that another example I should set for the students is that it’s okay to sometimes show some vulnerability and ask for help.
