The Endless Battle
Why does love always feel like a battlefield? -Jordin Sparks (Song: Battlefield — Released 2009)
Sing me a love song
But this time with a little dedication -Daley (Song: Love and Affection, Released 2014). We need emotion to help us empathize others.
In both sections of the book, Jonah Lehrer displays the teeter-totter relationship between listening to our gut and listening to our mind, and how the interactions between each other shape those feelings and thoughts. This then shapes our decisions to many issues we face in the world.
These emotions we feel throughout our experience create a foundation for our thought process. Even before birth, we are taught to care for one another, to learn to interact with others and make decisions that have the other’s feelings in mind. We are programmed to seek out love, and “As long as a person is loved as a child and doesn’t suffer from any developmental disorders, the human brain will naturally reject violence and make fair offers and try to comfort the crying child. This behavior is just a basic part of who we are. Evolution has programmed us to care about one another.” (Lehrer 195) But sometimes it can make us justify irrational decisions. For example, two children want to play with the inflatable swimming tubes. One child explains that he wanted another tube so that everyone can have a chance to play with two tubes, while the other child says there was no rule for that and it was first come first serve. Is one of them right while the other is wrong? Well no, they’re both right. Because in the beginning there were really no set rules agreed upon to begin with. Their arguments are completely valid, as Lehrer would say, “Moral Arguments are the same: Two people feel strongly about an issue, their feelings come first, and their reasons are invented on the fly, to throw at each other.” (Lehrer 172) These children are acting on their own emotions and using reason to justify their answers. They are trying to make themselves seem like reasonable individuals to support their side of the argument, as “Benjamin said it best in his autobiography: ‘So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make reason for everything one has a mind to do.’” (Lehrer 173) But what does being a reasonable individual mean? In many cases, it is being able to empathize others. But in other cases, it means being intellectual, rather than emotionally sound.
In 1947, US Brigadier General S.L.A. Marshall surveyed thousands of American troops right after they’ve been in combat. He discovered that less than 20% fired their weapon at the enemy and published his findings. After they were published, the US Army realized that it was a serious problem. So they reinvented their training methods; and within several years, the “ratio of fire” (at which the amount of infantry) increased dramatically, from 20 to 50% by the Korean War, and to 90% by the Vietnam War. They managed to turn the most personal of moral situations into an impersonal reflex, turning their soldiers into “killing machines” who no longer felt a surge of negative emotions when they fired their weapons. These soldiers may have been emotionally connected with the enemy, but through reformed training, they no longer feel those emotional connect, and have become “efficient” in terms of “ratio of fire” rather, and this was not indicated, but accuracy of the fires. Regardless, the soldiers are less emotional when it comes to firing at the enemy, and that is what makes them reasonable in the battlefield. (Lehrer 180) Their environment plays a major role in their ability to separate emotion. As a result, they try to set aside their feelings to solve the issue in front of them. But by setting aside feelings, it does not allow the mind to settle decisions easier.
Our minds are indecisive, constantly battling our thoughts in an endless argument to make decisions. As a result, it becomes very difficult to decipher what may be the better choice in a situation. That being said, emotions and our morals help “The mind [extend the] argument; and it is arguing with itself [until one of them dictates over the other]” (Lehrer 199). For example, if one were to go shopping for cereal, they would see all the options and notice my most favorite cereal before the others. The cereal may be to too sugary and that person may be on a diet, so then the less emotional part of my brain will argue that they need to focus on their diet and buy a healthier option. Or the price may be to not on budget, so they may have to put that into account as well. Their brain will then argue with itself, sugary cheap happiness over healthy expensive or healthy expensive over sugary cheap happiness. The little battle will continue until “Whichever emotion [they] feel most intensely tends to dictate your shopping decisions. It’s an emotional tug of war.” (Lehrer 201) This makes it all the more important to be able to stay open-minded and understand each other’s perspective to actively make better decisions for ourselves and others.
Overall, being too emotional can cloud our judgment on subjects that could be settled simply by looking at the big picture or thinking outside our emotions. On the other hand, not being emotional enough cannot allow us to make decisions that can better serve everyone’s wellbeing fairly.
With my community partner, I have experienced many situations in which I did not know how to react. Most times, I would think more rationally than emotionally, and it doesn’t allow me to fully understand the children. Sometimes, it even scares them. For example, the time I found out that the child’s mother got in trouble and the police brought them home, but the child just thought they were getting a nice ride home. I reacted almost shocked, as if something bad happened, while she was laughing about it. She looked confused after, but we switched to a different topic right away. I hope that I can extend my emotional standpoint so that I can better connect with them, and even have fun with them, rather than acting like a second mother, worrying about what is happening to them in their lives.
