Member-only story
Why is it so hard to convince other people that they’re wrong?
Short Answer: Because persuasion is a sport.
The goal in sports is to win, not to change teams. The goal of persuasion is to win arguments, not to change minds.
Example:
Me to 7-year old Niko: You should clean your room.
Niko: It’s already clean.
Me: No it’s not. Look at this explosion of stuffed animals.
Niko: Can we go to the bookstore after?
Me: Sure.
Niko cleans his room.
Did I win the argument? Yeah, I got what I wanted! Did I change Niko’s mind about the state of his room? No. He just traded work for something he wanted. A subtle distinction but it makes a huge difference if you extrapolate it out to all the problems in the world.
Owls vs Pigs:
After thinking a lot about cognitive biases and talking to lots of people about it, the #1 question I get on the topic of biases and motivated reasoning is overwhelmingly people asking me why they have so much trouble convincing other people that they’re wrong.
Imagine your town’s basketball team, the Owls, is playing against your biggest rival, the Pigs. The Owls were ahead early in the game but now it’s the third quarter and your team has fallen behind. The Pigs have rallied and scored a bunch of points in a row. They top it off with a play that should've been an offensive foul but it wasn’t called.
It’s an away game in Pigstown, and the crowd is exploding with cheers and songs celebrating their comeback, seemingly oblivious to the blatant fouls and dirty tactics.
The player that made the last shot points to the scoreboard and does a little taunting dance. He points to your side of the stadium, makes an exaggerated crying motion, and swipes you away as inconsequential. The crowd bursts into laughter and cheers and yelling.
The person sitting next to you is rooting for the Pigs. She says, “No hard feelings but the Pigs are clearly the superior team. Look at the score! That’s irrefutable evidence. Look at the crowd: 90% of the people here are Pigs fans. We've won the last 3…
