Burden of Customs
On One hand, the world is changing, and we are slowly moving towards the society where women are loved and respected. But on the other hand, we still believe in so many old unfair customs which prove that somewhere unconsciously there exists a disparity between both the genders.
Let us start questioning ourselves with a “Why”?
Why do we have Kanyadaan?
Its literal English translation is “girl donation”. In other words, It means “transferring the ownership of the daughter from father to the groom”. Seriously!!!!! Why?? It might have made any sense in old times, but this objectification of women as property is incorrect, in every way.
Why Bidaai?
It is a custom to send the daughter to the groom’s house post marriage. As part of this custom, the bride tosses some amount of rice towards parents and says ok “I cleared your debt” and then she leaves for the groom’s house.
Haha…. So easy to clear the debt? ..Sounds funny right??
Just because the daughter gets married, it doesn’t mean that she has to break the ties, clear the debt and leave the house. No…. not at all.
Why Jewelleries?
The brides are expected to wear Mangalsutra, bangles, toe-ring, nose ring etc. after marriage to symbolically tell everyone, Hey! don’t look at me I have been taken…..
But why the guys don’t have so many things ??? Have you ever thought about it??? Don’t they need to show it as well? What equality are we talking about here?
Why the bride has to take the groom’s surname post marriage?
I am trying to understand the concept of this custom, maybe again some way of claiming the ownership? Does marriage mean that one has to change their identity, if yes, then why not change surnames of both? Why not come up with a new last name together which can also go to the kid? Sounds better I guess :P
Why and what is “pati ka aashirwad” (Husband’s Blessing)?
In some parts of India, the bride has to touch the groom’s feet to take his blessings. In general, we respect the elder by touching their feet. But in marriage, both should get equal respect. So Why doesn’t groom also touch the bride’s feet in turn?
Why do the girl’s parents need to host the wedding?
Both girl and the boy get partners for each other. But in most of the marriages still, only the bride’s parents have to bear the expenses of the wedding. Why such inequality? Why isn’t the cost of marriage is divided among both the sides?
And there are many more such customs in different parts of India, I just pointed out a few. And I don’t blame at all the men or the parents for this. It’s just how we have followed these customs blindly without thinking once, WHY?
So Do we really need to continue these customs? Don’t you feel that they should have been discontinued long back?
My only idea is to encourage people to just think and reflect upon themselves to understand the Burden of some Customs.
