Introduction to Thirteen Theses
I was raised in the Mormon church in a great family. My father was a bishop in our ward and in the stake presidency, my mother was raised in a large “pioneer stock” family, and none of my many siblings have ever seemed to waiver (at least from what I can tell) in terms of their unquestioning belief in what the Mormon church teaches. I was in that same boat until going through the temple for my endowment at age 19. It was a terrifying, confusing, embarrassing experience that caused me to pause and ask, “what if?”
I still left on an Mormon mission weeks later and graduated from BYU when I returned. But ever since the day I went through the temple, I’ve been asking “what if” on various levels. 11 years later I am finally in a very comfortable place of agnosticism. Agnostics basically say, “I embrace the unknown. God may be real or he may not, and the uncertainty of that question is ok.”
After thinking hard, paying attention to my feelings at church and in the temple, and researching the origins of:
1. The Earth
2. Human beings/evolution
3. Religion/psychology of religion and its coping mechanisms for death
4. Christianity/the true nature of Jesus’ birth, life, and Christianity movement
5. Mormonism
I’ve determined that all are explained and more logically fit without religion.
I don’t claim to “know” one thing or another, but I’m comfortable in the unknown and in my current assessment. Evidence tells me that humans arose from evolution and can find purpose in helping each other, making the world a better place, and leaving a legacy (in whatever form a legacy is most fulfilling to each individual). Evidence also tells me that the Mormon church, Christianity, and religion in general hold a lot more fable than truth. My relatively newfound agnosticism fills me with a curiosity to understand the world, with a hunger to meet and love my fellow humans, and with a calm perspective of my life and its purpose.
I’ve stepped back from the Mormon church, although I’ve accepted that with my wife and family still Mormon, it probably won’t ever leave my life completely. And that’s ok. The church is full of good people and a remarkable social community, and good things and people do come out of it. But given what I now believe, I don’t want any part of its belief system and the confusion and ignorance that I feel like it brings.
Over the last 11 years there have been many reasons that have come to my head about why I should leave. The short essays that I’ll write over the next few months each touch on some of the main points. The purpose of these essays is not to turn Mormon people away from their religion. I’ve accepted that people who don’t want to be wrong won’t consider any thoughts or evidence to convince them that they are wrong. The purpose is also not for credibility, views, or fame of any kind. As you can see, these essays have been published anonymously.
My purpose in writing these thirteen theses is to:
- Gather my thoughts and reasons for leaving the Mormon church, Christianity, and religion and “get them on paper” so that I can get them off of my chest and move forward. I don’t want this to weigh me down anymore. I want to move forward and live a happy life!
- Provide a jumping point for a discussion among the thousands (perhaps millions) of people in my same boat who may also be considering leaving the Mormon church, Christianity, or religion. It’s a sensitive subject and so far I haven’t had many people to talk it over with, and I imagine others feel the same.
- Give family and friends who will certainly question my actions a place where they can (hopefully calmly and without ill-will) read about my reasoning for leaving.
For friends or family or other Mormon members reading this, I know that you’ll have a rebuttal for every point I make. I made the same rebuttals for most of my life. But please recognize that the thoughts and experiences I’m writing down are mine, and they are real.
Here goes!
