Gods and Platypuses

Day Twenty-One of Thirty Days of Writing

The joke’s been made before, but if you ever find reason to ponder if the Universe has a sense of humor, look at the platypus.

“Why’d you make it?”

“Honestly, I was stoned and thought why not?” Omnipotence said “speaking of which” and Omnipotence pulls out a joint from the inside of their robe. Sparks it. Takes a hit and looks to me “want some?”

“Sure. This’ll be interesting.”

“No more than usual. You should see some of the shit you guys do. Better than cable.”

“So you do look over us?”

“Hell no. It’s more like a twitter feed. I check it every few days. Oddly enough my follower count is dropping.”

“Ever think about hiring a social media intern?” as I exhale “Good stuff.”

“What do you think this is? Amateur hour? And I tried that once and they crucified him.”

“Where do you get it?”

Omnipotence looks to me as if I’ve offended “I grow it myself. Thought that’d go with out saying.”

“Indoor or outdoor?”

“Both. This is hydro. I use the outdoor to make edibles. Remind me and I’ll give you some brownies before you go.” Edibles for the Gods.

“So what, you harvested your first crop, got high as hell — ”

“High as hell?” Looking at me “Why do you all say that? Doesn’t make a bit of sense.”

“What would one say then?”

“I don’t give a damn, just something else. Doesn’t make sense. Like when the english language started using literally to mean figuratively. Don’t have to follow my rules, but follow your own.”

“So you finished your crop, smoked, and thought I’m gonna make the platypuses?”

“Are you questioning me?” Omnipotence stares “Dude I’m just screwin’ with you calm down” laughing “But yeah basically.”

“Where’d the rest of the Universe come from?”

“An acid trip.”

I burst out with laughter “That’s a good one.”

“I’m not joking. Hoffman is an apostle. He was screwing around with that stuff before the solar system was made. He begged me to go down and give it to you. Let’s see what they’ll do with it, pleeeeeeeeease?!” takes another hit “Big baby. But he was sincere so I let him go.”

“So the platypus was from you getting high, and the rest of us, the rest of everything, is from an acid trip?”

“Yeah. It was a bad one too. Honestly, I regret most of that week.”