Core Values and an Authentic Life
What’s most important to you? Your core values determine how you answer this question.
Core Values
Your core values highlight what you stand for. Core values guide your behaviors, decisions, and actions. Core values dictate how one’s life will be lived — and the passions one will pursue.
A thing is only right or wrong because you say it is. A thing is not right or wrong intrinsically. By your subjective judgments, you create yourself. By your values, you determine and demonstrate who you are — your authentic self.
When you know what you value, you can live by those values. This can lead to greater fulfillment and contentment. But when you don’t have values, your life may be dictated by others and controlled by external forces. This absence of ‘authenticity’ may cause internal stress. And this stress can trigger degenerative behavior and destructive habits.
Of course, core values aren’t always positive. An ‘unbalanced’ ego may drive some people to self-interest, greed, narcissism, or other negative aspects of character and personality. Click here for my articles regarding the ego.
Negative core values and attitudes can also develop when people live in fear or insecurity and are forced to focus on survival in difficult circumstances.
So, yes, we have a world of yin and yang regarding core values. However, I will focus on virtuous core beliefs for the remainder of this article.
Stoicism
Stoicism is a philosophy that flourished in Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome. The Stoics believed that the practice of virtue was enough to achieve a well-lived life. The Stoics followed the path of a well-lived life by practicing certain virtues every day — such as temperance and courage.
Stoicism today is characterized by the principles of naturalism and moralism. In philosophy, naturalism is the idea that only natural laws and forces operate in the universe. Moralism is the philosophy that concerns itself with imbuing society with a specific set of morals.
Stoics first ponder what kind of virtuous person they wish to be. Then, they continue with their daily affairs. In other words, Stoics create a code of virtuous conduct for themselves and live by it — with no loopholes.
Stoics believe that their true good resides in their character and actions. Stoics frequently remind themselves to distinguish between “what is up to them” and what isn’t. Modern Stoics call this “the dichotomy of control.”
What happens to us is never entirely under our control. But our thoughts and actions are — at least the voluntary ones. As a result, it’s not life events that distress us but rather our opinions about them.
Deciding that something is awful, terrible, or even devastating is what causes us distress. This is one of the basic psychological principles of Stoicism.
“Meditations” — written by the last Stoic Philosopher of Antiquity
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus was a Roman emperor from 161 to 180 AD — and the last famous Stoic philosopher of antiquity. During his life, Marcus frequently applied Stoic principles to the challenges of coping with pain, illness, anxiety, and loss.
During the final 14 years of his life, he was confronted with one of the worst plagues in European history. Named after him, the Antonine Plague was most likely caused by a strain of the smallpox virus. It’s estimated the plague killed 5 to 10 million people — possibly including Marcus himself.
In the middle of this plague, Marcus wrote a book that has become known as the “Meditations.” In this book, he recorded the moral and psychological advice he gave himself at that time.
Upon reading the Meditations, people are impressed by how — in the first chapter — Marcus lists the qualities he most admires in other individuals. As a Stoic, Marcus would ask himself: “What virtue has nature given me to deal with this situation?” And his natural follow-up question would be: “How do other people cope with similar challenges?”
Stoics ponder ‘strengths of character’ such as patience, self-discipline, and wisdom. They then endeavor to exemplify these virtues and apply them to the daily challenges they face in life.
They also learn from others how to deal with and cope with various situations — thereby potentially making Stoics more resilient in the face of adversity. This ‘learning from others’ often involves role models and mentors who are historical figures or fictional characters.
The common Stoic slogan — “Fear does us more harm than the things of which we’re afraid.” — speaks to how fear can influence our quality of life and physical health.
This saying has an even deeper meaning for the Stoics. They believe fear penetrates the moral core of our being. It can destroy our humanity if we let it. From the Stoics’ viewpoint, that’s a fate worse than death.
Denial and Avoidance
Avoidance is the number one most popular coping strategy in the world today. We bury our heads in the sand and deny that many world issues must be confronted. Click here for my articles regarding “Burying Your Head in the Sand.”
Any one of us could die at any moment — and by any cause. The Stoics believe that when confronted with their mortality and grasp its implications, it can dramatically alter their perspective on life and how they confront it.
Our current lives in this reality don’t go on forever. Only our soul essence is infinite. We’re told this is what Marcus was thinking about on his deathbed.
Marcus’s friends were distraught near his end. But Marcus calmly asked why they were weeping when, in fact, they should accept both sickness and death as inevitable.
“All that comes to pass,” — he would say — “even illness and death, should be as familiar as the rose in spring and the fruit in autumn.”
In other words, Marcus, the Stoic emperor, had taught himself to confront death with the calm resolve of someone who had experienced the ‘death event’ countless times before — and would do so again. Click here for my articles regarding “Afterlife and Reincarnation.”
A code of virtuous conduct — pass the word.
I will repeat what I stated earlier: First, tell yourself what kind of virtuous person you wish to be — and then continue with your life. In other words, commit to honoring human dignity and creating a code of virtuous conduct for yourself — and then ‘walk your talk.’
Share with others why a code of virtuous conduct is essential for every human being. One person with their code won’t make much difference — many people of virtue will create a better world.
Desiderata
When I was fifteen, I came across a poster of “Desiderata,” a famous 1927 prose poem by Max Ehrmann. The poster hung on my bedroom wall at home during high school and then in my college dormitory.
The words have touched me in ways that I cannot fully explain. But it shaped and molded me as I spent the next fifty years becoming the man I am today. I am still profoundly touched by the truth and elegance of those words. For your consideration, here they are:
“Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they, too, have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt; the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
Max Ehrmann
