Everything is a BIG Deal
Today I didn’t get called in to work. A friend and I were going to join in on a free linedancing class for the first time (which is likely filled with happy seniors). She cancelled, so I didn’t go either. Why do I have to do that?
As I didn’t work, I lounged around, knowing I should go to the grocery store. The grocery store is 4 MINUTES away. Why is it such a big deal?
Yesterday, my courses released a new module to do, which I still haven’t looked at. I still have time, but why am I putting it off?
The answer, must be anxiety and stress. It sounds ridiculous even to myself, but it doesn’t go away even if I know it’s irrational.
Linedancing is a bit out of my comfort zone in general, I’m not coordinated in the slightest. Why is it okay to do it with a friend but not by myself? The only answer is anxiety. I imagine the awkwardness of trying to follow everyone and laughing at myself awkwardly, which is cool when you have someone to laugh with. But I prefer if I’m going to suck out like a sore thumb, to at least do it with a friend.
Going to the grocery store is so ordinary it’s hard to think why it matters. I do the same thing with getting gas. I try to do it when it’s convenient, but sometimes your fridge or gas tank is pretty much empty and you’re forced to go. Even though there’s more selection at the two grocery stores 10 minutes away, I chose to go to the 4 minute away one, so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone I know. Why do I even care? I don’t know!!! I drive myself crazy!
Lastly, I joined four online courses for fun, to learn, and because they are free. Why did I stress myself out? The thing is, when I joined half of the lessons were already posted, so I did them all at once, because I’m a binger. I’d rather use an entire day and accomplish a lot, than do a little bit every once in a while. This one, I can’t really explain.
What I did accomplish today though was sweeping the floors, eating all meals (which has been rare lately), I created a couple games for tutoring, I got those stinkin’ groceries, and I vacuumed my couches!
I think I deserve a gold medal for partial initiative and procrastination, all in the same day. Go me!
