Every single hair that I have lost from my head is because of that boy

A personal life reflection on Cecil Gaines movie, The Butler

Every single hair that I have lost from my head is because of that boy.

On a boring chill Sunday, I was with the homies and after a full day of moving stuff to a new apartment, we were dead tired. Alex and John had just moved to new apartments.

With nothing cool and relaxing to do, we decided to head out for a movie. Alex was too tired to even watch the movie so he slept in the car while John and I went to watch the movie.

The movie ‘Lee Daniel’s The Butler’ turned out to be quite a riveting story that had us on the edge of our seats for the entire time. The gripping story is about a black butler who served over 6 presidents at a time when America was in the Black civil war. The movie digs right into the civil rights movement portraying a father (the butler) that is in constant conflict due to his job serving presidents that make decisions that affect his family so gravely. One of his sons was a key protester in the civil rights movement and .

My review won’t do the movie much justice but this one is worth your dime if you love a good movie with an excellent plot and superb acting. The main actors did a stellar Job. Kudos to Forest Whittaker, Oprah Winfrey and the rest of the crew. .

What really touched me as the center stage of the entire movie was the conflicting relationship between a father and his son. Both being in different worlds as the civil war tears them apart. The father could only watch on as a butler (The President’s house nigga) as the president enacted laws, decrees and made countless decisions that directly impacted his son who was literally at the battlefront in the civil rights movement. The son took his dad for a coward for failing to stand up to the white man and resigning himself to working as a slave. Louis, the son does all this while ignoring the daily sacrifices his parents made so that he may have a better life.

At one point, Cecil Gaines (The Butler) disowns his rebellious son, Louis. His son even fails to attend his own brother’s funeral. Later on, Louis visits his Dad at the White house. Louis tries to get his father to take him back but Cecil chases him away. Cecil curtly cuts him off asking him to leave. When a work colleague confronts him about this, Cecil states: ‘Every single hair that I have lost from my head is because of that boy. ‘

This statement touched me as it helped me mirror my own relationship with my father. Growing up, my father was largely a shadow. A man I got to see very rarely while growing up. Our mother sheltered us so well while growing up and I am happy to say I grew up in a happy family. But there are times when I look back at some of the decisions I make and realize there was really a lack of a father figure while growing up.

Many a time, I have blamed him for not being there for my brothers and now that I think about it. Why? I got my self to blame for whatever I do.

He also had his many burdens to carry and lost a couple of hairs so we could stay afloat.

Maybe that’s why even God put this in his 10 commandments: Respect your Father and Mother. Often you never know what they had to go through. It is because of them that you are what you are.