In Real Life
Or how I learned personal responsibility from a murderer
I never knew anyone who was on TV, until Sam Manzie was arrested for murder.
Xspaceboy, aka Sam Manzie, and I were avid Smashing Pumpkins bootleg traders. We were among an exclusive group who’s collections had far surpassed reason and entered the realm of obsession.
We’d chat regularly about what new tapes had surfaced. We discussed our online girlfriends. Mine was in Scranton, NJ — his in Arizona. We talked about our friends at school, how dumb our parents were, & what we were doing over summer break.
We had discussed meeting in real life the next time I skipped school and drove down to Manhattan to crate dive at the vinyl shops. I’d been saving up for the Tristessa 7"on pink vinyl for months and there was one basement shop in the city that held one of 4,500 copies in circulation.
Most importantly, I considered him a friend.
One night I was dubbing tapes in the living room with the 11'oclock news playing in the background.
I looked up, and my friend, Sam Manzie, was on the TV and staring straight at me.
My heart stopped. No one ever shows up on the local news for good reasons. I should know, I tried for years, but no one ever cared how many ways we rearranged neighbors’ christmas decorations into lewd positions.
But they cared about Sam Manzie.
Sam had taken the life of an 11 year old boy, Eddie Werner, who was selling wrapping paper door to door in order to win a pair of walkie-talkies, but I wouldn’t believe he was capable of it.
As the details of the case came out I had plenty of reason to believe he should not be held fully responsible for the acts he committed. Everyone was looking for the “why” in the case. Who is to blame for this hideous event.
The media blamed his classmates for the bullying and abuse he underwent before dropping out at age 15.
They blamed Stephen Simmons for molesting him since the age of 14.
They blamed the police for being too aggressive with their investigation into Sam and Simmons relationship.
They blamed his parents for taking a trip to a local casino, leaving him home alone, on the day of the murder.
His parents blamed the hospital that released him with a clean bill of mental health three days before the murder.
They blamed the judge for sending him home two days before the murder, despite his parents plea.
I blamed the anti-depressants that he was taking that were affecting his ability to think clearly.
I blamed society for not understanding the trial and tribulations of youth, for not providing better outlets for at risk teens.
I started a petition to “Free Sam Manzie,” and optioned to have him omitted into a psychiatric ward instead of spending 75 years in prison.
But Sam blamed himself.
He plead guilty to murder despite counsel to the contrary. Sam knew what he did, and he knew the consequences he deserved.
I had no reason for the denial, none of us did, other than it made it easier.
I can’t change the fact that Sam used his hands to murder, or bring back the life he took. No one can.
Sam now sits in jail living with the consequences of his actions for the rest of his life, unfortunately Eddie Werners’ parents do to.
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