Standing at the Starting Line

I have been here before, starring down the path in front of me, scared as hell to take that first step, and then, somehow, finding that once I’m moving I can’t stop. Thing is, I never thought I’d find myself here at this particular starting line, for this particular journey. But, since I’m here now, it certainly can’t hurt to share it with you. And so… here goes.

Let me tell you what is going on in my life. I am an independent consultant who hasn’t had more than say 10% of my time booked for client work since November of 2015. That’s approximately 20 weeks or 5 months without ‘real work’… but who’s counting?

In the beginning, not having ‘real work’ was cool. It was cool because I, and my business partner, had a plan. We planned to take off through the end of the year, and then pick up work in January or February. We needed the break anyway. We’d been hustling all 2015, and were pretty burnt out.

So, we took time off without concern, and we enjoyed our lives, the holidays, our families, and the feeling of ‘not working’. It was all pretty great. But then, January arrived, then February, and the work didn’t come.

We thought it might. I mean, we had calls and in-person interviews. We continued networking and meeting with friends, and even spoke at an event or two. Basically, we were doing everything normal to ‘get work’, but, somehow, normal no longer seemed to be working for us.

During this ’non working’ time, I distracted myself from my circumstances by bragging to friends and laughing about not having to go to work in the morning, or about getting to go to the movies on a weekday afternoon when no one else was there, or about getting to have random, midday 2 hour coffee chats with friends. But then, the work still didn’t come, and I stopped laughing.

Then I stopped sleeping.

At this time, my business partner came up with a great idea. He suggested we use one of our weekly status meetings to align our 2016 priorities*. You know, we’d get our energy flowing, and the new energy would invite new work projects into our world. Better projects, the right projects.

He was right. The priorities workshop went great and was very helpful. It exposed to us that money, and ‘having work’ are most definitely NOT our biggest drivers. In fact, our top 5 priorities for our partnership this year are:

1. To walk the talk and be mindful, present and creative with the work we do — After spending a year on a fast paced, intense project, we realize we got too caught up in getting the product out the door, thereby losing a bit of who we were intellectually and creatively. We want a better balance, as we know this is the best way to design a great product. Maybe this means working less or maybe it just means being more present as we are working, but either way we plan on being more intentional in all we do.

2. To prioritize working together — We do our best work when working together. We also know that, when there are two of us, we can take on more projects and be more helpful to the clients we have. Of course we want to be fair to our clients’ budgets, so this means splitting the fees and earning less per project, but considering the end product and the project is better when there are two of us, it’s worth it.

3. To focus on growth and development — We don’t want to just grow and develop the business itself, but want to grow and develop both personally and professionally in tandem, so this will be our third area of focus.

4. To align who we work with and what we work on with our core beliefs — We no longer want to work with companies who A. Don’t believe in and exercise diversity of people, thoughts and beliefs, B. Make a profit off of taking advantage of their customers while leaving them worse off, and C. Don’t understand, or attempt to understand the true value that we bring to the table as Information Architects, User Experience Designers and Product Managers/Strategists. We realize that, on the surface, this may not leave us many prospective clients to work with, and that some compromises may need to be made, BUT we’re going to charge ahead with this goal and see how far we can get… it can’t hurt to try.

5. To evangelize ourselves and our work — We want to get the word out on how we work together, how our process and beliefs are different, and how our work relationship and process not only benefit our clients but also benefit our lives, and hopefully, if emulated, the lives of many others.

You can see earning money, or ‘paying the bills, is not the focus of our list. Instead, we’re aiming to do the things that align how we think and feel, with what we say we believe, with what we believe, so that we can live our best selves. We’re aiming to be the people we want to be, instead of the people we’ve been told we should be, and that realization is super inspiring.

Now I know what you may be thinking, our priorities are unrealistic and irresponsible. Further, if these are our priorities, it’s no surprise we aren’t able to ‘get work’! How can we expect to have work, when we aren’t putting in the blood, sweat and tears to close the deal?!

I don’t blame you for thinking along these lines, because, based on how most of us have been trained to live and work, all of my partner and I’s 2016 priorities seem like bad business. Instead of being centered around ‘getting err done’, our priorities reflect two people who are putting faith in something else to ‘do the work for them’; two people who are lazy dreamers who don’t know what this cold hard world of reality is all about, and who, therefore, deserve to go broke and lose it all!

I also don’t blame you for thinking this because this is what the voice in my head has been yelling at me for the past 2 months.

But, something about putting my priorities down on paper and having another person not only hear my priorities, but agree that these priorities were their priorities as well, makes me think, and FEEL, that we are on to something. Call it hope, call it trust, call it a dream, but I just can’t help but believe in what we were doing… or maybe I can’t help believe it when I’m not freaking out about it!

But that’s just the point, WHY am I freaking out, feeling guilty and yelling at myself for wanting to be a better person and do better work for good people? Wouldn’t doing all of that make for a better world?

Further… having been outside of the work system for 5 months I can’t help but view the ‘grinding it out in misery to one day be happy… maybe’ method of living as backwards and unfulfilling for me.

Thus, I can’t help but think our system, our priorities HAVE to be on point because they are in sync with the world in our heads and the world we want to live outside our heads. This realization, this shift of mind, had to work… it just HAD to!

But, before I tell you what happened, allow me to read your mind again. You’re thinking that I’m about to tell you that, as expected, we did this workshop, exposed & aligned our beliefs and priorities which are super outside the norm, and ‘voila!’ found the ideal client and are living the dream.

Weelllllll come to find out that’s NOT exactly how it works. There is a bit more to it. Well, in truth, a lot more to it.

What we didn’t realize was that we were starting down a path of self discovery that both of us thought we wanted, but that neither of us was really prepared for. It is a path of even more ups and downs than we had been experiencing. It’s a terrifying path because it means surrendering to what’s in your heart, and not your head. Because of this, it is a path that many choose not to take, but, for the few who do choose to start down it, there is no turning back.

It is the path of Living Life, and not letting Life Live You.

And, it is a story that is way to long for just one post, especially in this time efficient world. In fact, the story is not a linear one at all. It is a journey in and of itself. One that I am figuring out each any every day, and one that I’m hoping to write to you about as often as possible.

And so, I invite you to come along with me as I, explore and expose this path that I’m starring down… its riches and its obligations, its ups and downs, its successes and failures.

But, be warned, I have no idea what we’ll find along our journey. And so, I have no idea how to prepare you for what you’ll learn. If this is uncomfortable for you, I encourage you to stop reading now and go back to your regularly scheduled programming.

BUT, if you are as excited (and scared) as I am to be trying something different, or watching me to try something different anyway, I encourage you to follow this publication, and see what happens next!

I have been here before, at the starting line, but never before have made it to the finish. Let’s see where the road takes us… shall we?

* Credit for the priorities workshop goes to one Mr. Kevin Norris. Not only a great friend, but a smart, hard working, honest fella, and all around awesome person!