Why I No Longer Want to Know “How to” Do Anything
I used to think I was sure. I went from thinking I was sure, to being terrified I was no longer sure. It was this fear that stopped me from living.
Instead of living, of being a part of the story that is life, I aimed to quell my fear with “doing it right”.
“Doing it right” meant figuring out “how to” best do everything. I was a grade A student in the School of How To. This status, that of knowing the “right way” to do everything, made me feel good about myself. (Don’t worry, I still feel good about myself.)
But, as I watch this movie, I think about the joke the two main characters have between them regarding their journey becoming a book. I thought about this, and then I thought about how I want to write a book one day. Next I thought “How can I write a book? I don’t even know ‘How to’ write a book.” And then I thought
“I don’t want to know ‘How to’ write a book. I just want to write one some day.”
In that moment, I was reborn.