I didn’t think expressing oneself was important until a family secret got revealed
Sometimes, it forces people to do the unthinkable.
In my teens, I used to be a very expressive person. I was more successful than an average teen and had many stories to share.
Then something dark happened. My peers would get offended whenever I would share my own stories.
At first, I ignored the signs. I kept sharing my stories anyway. But at one point, they got more jealous. Being someone who catches feelings quickly, I sensed that my stories made them uncomfortable.
So you know what I did?
At one point, I just stopped sharing my own stories, just not to offend them.
Since I also read the books of Dale Carnegie, I went a step further. I applied the strategy of making the other person feel special. So I would willingly lend them an ear just to hear their stories.
It made them feel special, but I was dying slowly on the inside.
A family truth was leaked
Then one day, a dark truth was revealed.
For many years, I had assumed a close relative of mine had passed away in an accident. But my assumption was wrong.
They had actually done the unthinkable — ending their life because they were in a lot of pain. Yet, they always used to be quiet and we didn’t even get wind of it.
They never shared their pain, even though they were drowning in toxicity.
And it cost them, and their family, very dearly.
After that, I learned my lesson. Expressing yourself is extremely important, especially if you’ve been carrying around a lot of toxicity.
Share your stories of pain, joy, anger, and hate. Obviously, not everyone will be happy with it. But it’s important for your own well-being.
The shame of sharing
Some of the biggest fears people have when it comes to sharing are:
- What if they think I have such dirty thoughts?
- They’ll think I’m such a cry baby
- Stop looking for external validation.
With people who’ve hung out a lot around narcissists, this is a big big problem. All these thoughts are rooted in shame.
But let me tell you, these are completely normal thoughts to have. It doesn’t make you good or bad. How you act despite these thoughts is what makes you a good or bad person.
How to express more?
I’m going to give you a list of options that can help you express yourself more:
- Speak up: This is the simplest form of expression. It’s easy to do. However, you might feel a little uncomfortable revealing your darkest stories.
- Write under a faceless account: If you fear judgment, this is a fantastic option. With this, you can be completely anonymous but still derive the benefit that comes from expressing yourself.
- Sing a song: This might not apply to everyone. But singing allows me to let my heart out.
- Dance: This is another form of expression. In my personal experience, I’ve found dancing to be a mini-reliever.
- Change your environment: This was a very big game-changer. Sometimes, if you stay around toxic people, in toxic places, self-expression becomes harder.
But if you move to a different location, and hang around different people, you’ll find it much easier to express. Try it once!
Open your bottled-up stories
Expression is an important part of what makes us human.
If you’ve stopped expressing yourself because you deem it unimportant, I want you to think again.
From my own personal experience, bottling up the good and bad parts of your life harms you and your loved ones.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t save the life of one of my relatives. But I hope this message gives you the courage to voice out your feelings!
