ADVERTISING COMMUNITY COLLEGE : YOUR LIFE IS A HUMBLE BRAG
What I have learnt in my short time working in advertising, in a few short satirical posts. Hopefully this will be a regular feature, if not then I was sucked in to unpredictable deadlines and crazy office parties.
When someone asks, “how was your weekend?” make sure you are locked and loaded.
You can not be leading a boring life, how dare you think you can come in to this industry, and be a hoarder, and live your weekends on the couch. Your experiences are your social currency, and no matter how shit you are at your job, make sure that they want to keep you around, because you know how to tell a good story, without sounding too thrilled to be telling it in the first place.
Rule no. 1: Be fucking interesting
Make sure you actually have done something interesting, I mean freakin turned all the way up to a 10 over the weekend, because having coffee with friends is not interesting, that is standard. We all have coffee with friends. Fuck it whatever you did, just dial it up to a 10, creativity is key. Name drop here, there and everywhere. Show a few action shots, and dismiss everything as if you did not just bungle jump of a bridge.
(Now chant: I am the golden unicorn, everyone wants to be me)
Rule no. 2: Bite! just enough to leave a mark, but not enough to make them bleed.
You read that correctly! Your story must be very interesting, envious, and down right obnoxious but don’t lay it on too thick, You still want people to have lunch with you.
(Tip: carry band-aid in case you make a bitch bleed)
Rule no. 3: Blow it off
Make sure when you end off the story about your amazing life, that you land the plane softly. So try make it sound like its a stock standard weekend, with as less charm as the story started. You want to leave them with a “Yeah this is my life hey” *Kanye shrug* so it sounds like their equivalent of toast on the couch with my cat. A humble brag, is just that “Humble” with a dash of sugar, spice and everything nice.
(Tip: Shrug after every sentence)
Rule no.4: Listen intently to their boring weekend, like you just didn’t make their life by sharing yours.
No one likes a dick, so be nice and listen to their charming story about coffee with friends, and staying in their jammies the whole of Sunday. They are trying to make themselves feel better for not having your life.
(Chant again: I am a fucking golden unicorn)
Leave them wondering, “who the fuck is this person, and why are they like this”.
Class dismissed, now practice sounding enriched and humble!
