Being Home
With a baby in tow
We’re ‘home’.
After a couple of days of air travel, we reached ‘home’. It’s been two weeks.
Sometimes it feels like time is going really slowly. At other times, it feels so fast. It’s only been two weeks. It’s already been two weeks.
Traveling with a baby was an experience. But even more so is being ‘home’ with a baby.
I know things are different when you have a baby. You can’t expect to do the same things in the same way anymore. But knowing and living this fact are two different things. It is hard to let go of wanting to do things the same way. It is hard to face the reality.
You’re ‘home’, with lots of family around. You want to stay up late, sleep in, lounge around, go out, just talk, shop, explore, have fun.
But nope! Nothing is simple with Little Lioness — hungry? sleepy? uncomfortable from teething? can’t burp? bored? wants to be held? cranky? just wants attention?
There will be days when LL will wake up at 7.30 am, despite having slept late, and you’ll spend the day suppressing yawns. Other days, she will refuse to nap and you will find yourself as cranky as her. Dining out would be about learning to eat with one hand while holding her.
But the toughest thing to do with a baby in tow? Wedding prep. With my brother’s wedding a couple months away, there’s a long list of things to do. Including making a to-do list of all the things to do!
At the same time, there’s family around. And a lot of conversation, laughter, great food, lots of love, which makes it all worthwhile — and with oodles of help with LL, it’s even better!
And you know the cherry on the cake? That I find myself cheery and happier. Which means I can be a better mother and person. Considering how the days would feel dreary and the horizon bleak, this is more than what I can ask for.
It is also a joy to be able to share all the things LL does with family in person. Video calls, though great, have nothing on one-on-one interaction.
Unsolicited advice irks me sometimes but so far I’ve managed to take it in stride, and obviously, I haven’t followed anything that I wasn’t comfortable with. And have tried to make my point of view known.
It is interesting to know, however, that first-time mums are generally (globally?) considered to not know much, if anything, everywhere; and just seen as extra anxious and overprotective. I faced a dismissive attitude from doctors in NZ and got a taste of it from some relatives and a barber (like what?!).
All I know is what I learned with LL early on (when none of these people were around, by the way, not even via phone or messages!): trust your maternal instincts and follow your baby’s cues. This has worked for me in the past and I’m more than a 100% sure this will work for me now. And the anxiety I’m feeling is mostly having my guard up in reaction to what I perceive as attempts of ‘interference’, the we-only-mean-well advices. I can’t shut them down but I can tune out the noise.
The last couple of weeks have been great in terms of LL’s development and I’m sure the new and exciting environment has a lot to do with it. Now at her six month mark, it feels like the adventure is just beginning.
And I’m very excited!
