The Things You Need To Smash The Patriarchy According to Someone Who Knows How to

Let’s face it women don’t have it easy. Anyone with some sense would know that women have to work twice as hard at Life. Look around you, women having to deal with with a slew of gender based biases, being treated as lesser than men, seen as chattel, relegated to baby making machines, and these are but a few of the problems they face. From time immemorial women has always got the short end of the stick. So the time has come for me, someone who has had experience getting my voice heard to tell you how. Please follow these steps:

  1. Be a man.

Its that simple. Men will only listen to other men. And if you have to be a man, try being a high caste man. Your words hold more weight then, borne on the back of oppression. Being from a high caste also frees up your time because you don’t have to fight two different forms of systemic oppression. You have more time to dedicate to this fight. So don’t worry your pretty little heads about how you can get your message across. Shouting yourself hoarse will only get you so far. Women aren’t taken seriously, and that’s how it goes ladies. Take it from me, a high caste man, who has always had a 99 percent success rate when it comes to being heard.

‘But I work just as hard as men, harder even, to show I’m an indispensable cog in the machine’ you say. That doesn’t matter. Look at all the successful people, they’re high caste hindu men. That’s the one thing successful people have in common. You need to ask yourself would you be taken more seriously if you were a high caste man.

The answer is ‘yes’.

If you are a high caste hindu man no one will question why you’re in the position you’re in, why you’re successful, whether you deserved that promotion. No one will call you bossy, but you will be endowed with the quality of assertiveness and will be deemed a go-getter. When you raise you voice it is not seen as you being shrill and cacophonous, but you are oozing with machismo. By virtue of your gender and caste you have unquestionably begun to pave the path to your success, and hopefully your male offspring will continue to ride on that success.

How can I be a man you may ask?

As a man myself I can confidently say I don’t really know. All I know is that being a high caste hindu man works. Being a man absolves me of even working hard enough to find out how one can be a man. But one thing I can say, is that since I don’t have to deal with this oppression on a daily basis I have plenty of free time to find new ways by which to fight the patriarchy.

Even if you find a way to become a man but do not fit into the coveted category of alpha male, worry not, because you will still be in a better position than women or the lower castes. So be a man. That’s the one way you can successfully fight the patriarchy. And if you cannot then its already too late. Better luck next life!

2. See point 1.