Amma, what about me!
“I’m going to lose you my love” is what Jobin wrote in his fancy diary when he knew his little sister was dying. Jobin 10, was told about her sister Jency’s illness which was slowly killing her.
Jency 6, loved watching the bouquet of cartoon channels on the television, placed in a neatly kept living room of the house that she and her parents moved in a little under a year.
Jency was not aware that she was suffering except for knowing the fact that her mother used to weep, and her dad used to hide himself behind a newspaper and hold his tears back whenever she used to cough or gasp for breath.
Jobin on seeing this was clueless, and just like his parents used to have sleepless nights, because Jency shared the same Disney themed room with him. Jobin used to sit and ponder for hours, with his forehead rested on the safety grill of the window. Never before had Jobin seen his parents on their knees and praying all the time, seeking blessings from Christ to cure his ailing sister.
Months passed by and Jency was diagnosed with jaundice, which could quicken her departure for heavenly abode. The family was shattered. With their hands folded they desperately were hoping for a miracle to happen. Jobin’s hands were gripped tight whenever he used to ask his mother about Jency’s deteriorating health.
He was given a tight hug and he could feel his mother’s tears over his shoulder seeping through his shirt. Jency’s pain, and her innocent broken smile on seeing her dad, was something her mother couldn’t face. His dad could hardly emote and he didn’t want to face the reality, so he almost stayed away from her ailing daughter.
Jency shared a special relationship with her dad, who used to pamper and caress her daily after coming from work. She was her dad’s daughter, and was seeing a world created by her dad, who had chalked out her imagery future.
With all this happening Jobin was lost in his own thoughts. He was so calm and composed, like he was meditating with his eyes open. He used to roll up his eyes in the corner, making it look like his countless questions are being answered by god. He seemed restless and always looked dense.
On a bright sunny day Jobin sat next ailing Jency, and started telling her a story. It was the story that Jobin used to keep telling Jency. Jency knew the story by heart and loved hearing it from Jobin.
On insistence Jobin started, “Once there was a small family, and they had a small house, there was lot of happiness and joy, every little breath taken in that house had love in it. They got love and happiness from a little girl, who remained the way she was and who never grew up. She bound the family together, and has made a small home in each of the family members heart.” Jency was surprised to hear this story as there was a twist in it.
The story that she used to hear had the girl growing up to be a successful doctor and used to take her parents and brother to Disneyland every holiday.
Jency couldn’t avoid asking her brother, ..”
What happened to the girl did she die?” Jobin replied, ‘Yes, she did. But she lived in their hearts forever. The family kept going to Disneyland every vacation to live her dream”
On hearing this a naive Jency looked at her mother who was hearing the conversation of her lifetime between her kids, and asked her “Amma, what about me?
Will I grow up or remain in your hearts forever!” On hearing this Jobin ran out of the room with tears trickling down his cheeks and his mother screamed and ran towards Jency and gave her a tight hug and started to cry. Jency’s father rushed in the room only to see his daughter crying and broke down into tears. It was for the first time Jency was seeing her father cry.
Sobbing Jobin crept into the room to see his parents and Jency knitted tightly around each other’s arms. Sensing Jobin around Jency looked over through her father shoulders and gave him a smile.
Jobin didn’t react to it, his anxiety levels were increasing and he was breathing faster than usual, and he started to mumble something…
He looked at Jency’s eyes, fisted his hands, gained courage and looked at his mom to ask… “Amma, what about me..Will I also be gone..”
The above is adapted and altered based on a true story that moved me. The Malayalee family lives in a building right opposite to mine. The girl died of heart failure a few weeks ago and the family is coping up with the loss. I believe the family will only gain strength from here on, after this tragic incident. My prayers are with the family and love and regards for the little angel. I feel she was a god sent messenger to unite and bind the family together and define the meaning of love and happiness through grief.
Hi, I’m a music director/composer/producer from India and work for films, television series, television commercials / advertisements, jingles, video games, musicals and concerts. Here through my series of This Life Happens, i intend to share the simplest of stories that I get inspired from, hoping it’ll inspire yours too.
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