How to Be a Smart Shopper to Repel Clutter at the Source
5 essential strategies to make regret-free purchases
Three weeks into a four-day summer trip, I shoved my clenched hands into the pockets of a borrowed tween sized hoodie.
My best friend's mom swung toward the clothing section. We’d just left Goodwill after buying a small pile of warmer clothes.
She immediately points to a sundress and nods approvingly. I imagine how it might look, bending my personal style to accommodate the extra frills and a pattern with the personality of an index card.
Hmm, my magical thinking kicked in, it would be flattering.
She grabs the hanger, lifts the dress up and waves it toward me. I create the illusion of a smile and shake my head no.
“Are you sure?” she asks.
“Yup.” I widen my smile to dampen her sense of loss.
“Really?” she presses.
“It doesn’t solve today’s problem — remember?” I try to sound uplifting.
“I guess so.” She reluctantly drops the hanger back on the rack with a frown.
1. Solve today’s problem
I had cold arms and cold legs. It was mid-September in upstate New York, and I still considered the sundress. As soon as I reminded myself that it didn’t solve today’s problem it was an easy decision, the sundress held no appeal. I could see it for what it was, a distraction from the things I really need and want.
Note your needs and desires, immediate and longer-term.
- Do you have gaps in your wardrobe?
- Are there items for your home that would markedly improve your daily life?
- Is there a splurge purchase you’ve been thinking about?
Before you enter a store, decide what today’s problem is. Not only will this make shopping easier and faster — you’ll find yourself buying, more of the things you actually value and enjoy.
2. Limit aspirational purchases
The sundress was an aspirational dress. With only a glance I immediately started to barter with myself, I can suck in my gut and shorten the straps a little. Maybe I don’t even know how to look my best. My style could be holding me back.
Aspirational purchases are about the promises you ask an item to keep. The pants that promise to make you feel attractive if you just lost a few pounds. The language books that promise to make you feel accomplished. The guitar that promises to make you feel confident.
The more aspirational an item, the greater the promises it’ll make. The guitar comes with a landslide of promises — feeling confident, feeling pride, feeling desirable, feeling successful. We plead, almost with the item itself, that we’ll put in the work to make the promises come true. We’ll practice every night, we’ll study on the weekends, we’ll drop weight before summer’s gone.
Don’t collect aspirations, limit them. Aspirational items are often ones that end up being under-used, no longer used, or have never been used.
I’ve limited my aspirational clothes to one small duffle bag. If an item is just a little too small it goes in. I no longer try on clothes before I go out wishing they‘d fit. If it’s in my closet or my drawers, it fits. Every few weeks I find an excuse to go through my aspirational clothes — sometimes I’m adding an item, often I’m just hopeful.
Holding unclear notions of someday, get in the way of new dreams that fit your skills, capacities, and passions. It can be hard to move past old dreams, especially if they’re vague. These dreams drift out of sight, only to emerge when you’re being sentimental or uncertain. They’re often inspired by people we idealize. We might vaguely wish we had a skill or talent or creative vision. It’s easy to get swept up in other people’s achievements and interests.
Test your dreams quickly before you invest. Set a short-term goal and determine the minimum resources needed to demonstrate your interest, commitment, and capabilities.
If you’ve flirted with the idea of painting, take a single class that provides the materials for you. If you can’t commit to three hours of learning with free supplies, it might be a fanciful aspiration, not a dream you’re (currently) invested in.
If you want to buy some language resources download the free version of an app or borrow a book from the library and set a goal of learning a few dozen words in the next two weeks.
Instead of buying a guitar, you might take a few lessons from a place that will provide a guitar for the first few lessons.
Let go of sunk costs. Move forward from old dreams and interests as quickly as you can, no matter what you’ve already invested. The sooner you invest in your current dreams the better.
“No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, you can still turn around.”
— Turkish Proverb
3. Choose this, over that
Set a high standard for everything that enters your space. When you consider buying something, ask yourself if the new item is as good or better than what you already have.
Know what you value most. Take stock of your favorite and most used things. What do you treasure? What do you wear frequently that makes you feel good? What items do you use every day? When you are considering a new item compare it to your ‘best-of’ list. Only bring in items that you like as much, or better than what you already have. This will save you from making purchases just-in-case and because something’s a good deal.
One in, two out. Get rid of two items as soon as you bring home a non-consumable item like clothes, shoes, appliances, etc. These items could be in the same category, or you might have the items be unrelated. This might seem a little aggressive, but it works great for getting rid of worn out, broken, and under-used items.
This is a great way to measure your interest. If you aren’t willing to invest a few minutes to get rid of two items after you make your purchase, then maybe you don’t value the item enough to warrant purchasing it.
Have defined standards. Created some basic standards for different categories, like clothing, shoes, etc. Focus on categories that risk being under-used.
Clothing is a great place to start. The dressing room mirror makes lots of promises reality can’t keep. After far too many unflattering and under-used purchases I created two simple guidelines for all the clothes I bring home. First, all items I wear out of the house must be good enough to go on an afternoon coffee date. This gives me a real-life scenario to imagine, something more measurable than everything must be flattering, or nothing can be frumpy.
The second criteria I have is all main clothing items like dresses and jackets must elicit at least one compliment. This doesn’t mean my clothes have gotten more boring, in fact, it’s helped me avoid mediocre items that don’t make me look and feel good. Ironically, it’s helped me stick closer to wearing clothes that fit my style. I look my best when I look and feel like me.
Prioritize items that last. This doesn’t always mean the fanciest, most expensive item or even a new item. One good workhorse utility item — like a good knife, can replace multiples of mediocre, or single function specialty items.
Appreciate quality more than the promise of extra features. My rolling-pin, hammer, and drawing compass are each more than twice my age and are as good as when they were new. These items will last many more decades, not because I’m precious with them, but because they’re built to be used often.
4. Increase the pain of buying
Add friction to each purchase to increase your chances of buying items you truly value while avoiding under-used items.
Make it uncomfortable. Use cash to help you reign in your everyday purchases. Counting cash from your wallet and handing it over will help you spend and purchase less.
Don’t have online stores save your credit card number for future purchases. Getting up, finding your card, and typing it in maybe just enough deterrence to help you avoid superfluous purchases.
Know where items will live. Only buy things after you decide where it’ll permanently live in your space. This’ll help you hesitate over impulse, duplicate, and just-in-case purchases.
Announce your purchases. If you share your space, consider announcing purchases before you go back. Just the thought of sending a text may deter you from frivolous purchases.
5. Have an out
Always know the return policy for items. For example, some Goodwill stores accept returns to the same store location within five days. Salvation Army stores typically don’t take returns.
Look, don’t touch. Retailers know how to hook you into a sale. They know if you touch something you are far more likely to buy it.
When you pick up an item in a store, let’s say a ridiculously large coffee mug, it’s as if this mug is now a part of your life. Relinquishing it feels like it’s being taken from you. You’ve now imagined a life with the mug — it’s hard to abandon a future vision, even if it’s not what you really want.
Don’t go on a date with an item, unless you’re willing to break up with it before you take it home.
Give yourself a grace period. Before you make an impulsive or big purchase take a quick walk around the store. If you had to choose between this new item and other beloved similar items you already own, what would you choose? This'll help give you confidence in your decision.
Have an exit strategy. Decide when and how you’ll get rid of an item before you buy it. Know what you’ll do if you don’t fully use an item in a month or two or three.
Join my email list to stay in touch and I’ll send you my deceptively simple formula for living without regret and getting what you really, really want in life. Get it now!
