Sometimes I life
Sometimes I write
Silenced with bottles of beer
Daily habits fade away
Distracted by summer play
Dreams and visions
Guide to stride
A jack or master
A toe or leg
Balancing act or future regret
Clarity not there… yet
Doubt tests desire*
Thoughts on fire
Embrace the mess
Singe the stress
No right or wrong
— to the now
Walk the talk or
Talk the walk
Open heart and open mind
Follow the wonder and find
Learning to let go
Go — with the flow
Delay never a denial
Here to watch and learn
Not just work and earn
Six senses communicate
Magic in the world
Within a book
Or through eyes that look
Life teaching me in unique ways
Sometimes I life
Sometimes I write
I have been absent from sharing my words.
Ditching the crutches made me embrace life in a new way.
My energy and environment wouldn’t allow me to stay seated for long.
Reading and writing in brief sessions. Breathing and being in the world around me.
Lucky enough to be immersed with family, friends and nature.
Words still close to my heart, but we needed some time apart.
To be and see with clarity.
Projects swimming in my head.
Some almost finished, others just getting started.
I felt overwhelmed for a spell. Add in unexpected news, lockdown and a bush fire threatening the fringes of suburbia and I needed to keep my energy close to me.
It was scattered… not the time to send it into the world…. inviting “too much” back in.
It happens. I accept it now.
There is no “rush”.
My patience muscle has come a long way in the last couple of months.
Ever so grateful for this wonderful supportive community.
Thanks never seems enough to express the gratitude—each of you a shining presence in my heart.
Each time I dipped back in to read, I was gifted with big, comforting hugs.
Beautiful emails and comments checking in to see if I was ok.
A bag full of prompts inviting me to play. All saved for another day.
A mind map bursting at the seams. Projects tempting me but also overwhelming me.
I know it is time to focus and refine.
Put daily habits put back into practice.
My youngest, Matilda, started kindy 5 days a fortnight last week. A transitional period of a few hours a day… with longer sessions starting soon.
An opportunity for the first time in a while for a few more precious “me” time.
When the girls are home, I have the intention to be fully available to them and their adjusting needs.
I used to think that being “urbanised” was a ball and chain scenario. Like I wasn’t a contributing human if I wasn’t in the paid workforce — a working mum. Letting down the females of the species by playing an old fashioned stay at home mum.
A stigma in society that we need to do it all and be it all as mothers.
It doesn’t have to be true for me.
It is my choice.
I keep reminding myself some Dads choose to stay home too.
Having children is an amazing gift… more than I ever realised.
I put becoming a mother off for so long. I had even decided I wasn’t going to be one. After being lucky enough to have two children, I was still unconsciously putting being a mum into some weird box of “not being enough”.
After leaving my former career, I grieved hard. I felt like I had failed at being able to do it all. I was here, but not here… well not as much as I am now.
Stuck in my head not realising being in a position to stay home is a true blessing.
A blessing I am now grateful to be fully embracing.
Watching the girls grow and learn. From Riding and skateboarding- naked! Seems to be their go-to escape at shower time for one last skate — I’d put a photo up…but yeah bare bums are on show!)To swimming and having fun drawing and reading.
Guiding them to build resilience muscles as they encounter bumps, bruises, burns and more.
I love listening to their funny takes on the world.
Like one of their friends using a translator app to understand what her dog was saying to her.
Supporting and being supported by the community within the school.
Washing away the guilt of being so free when others are not. Being me, in the environment, I find myself in, best I can.
How does it get any better? — Rasheed Hooda
I had been putting off sharing words until I caught up on reading and responding.
Finally clicked that I never catch up!! It is an infinite cycle.
One I am happy to be on. Whatever season I find myself in.
Thanks for being patient with me as I “catch up”.
Thanks for reading
Thanks for being you
Breadcrumbs to words that helped me join some puzzle pieces over the last couple of months — there were many more. I wish I could include them all.
where you seek it
She lives only after sundownbefore the sandman comes, discovering treasures of the mind. In the daylight hours she's…